Random n’at.

1. Welcome back to me! Florida was fan-freakin’-tastic, save for the jellyfish. I mean, wow, why the crap did God create jellyfish?! Not one member of the family was spared from their stings. Also, the final day at the beach, after not being able to get in the water for the previous three days due to the stings:

PittGirl: [Arriving at the family all seated under the canopy staring at the swimmer-less ocean.] Well?

BIL: They’re everywhere. Can’t go in.

PittGirl: Jellyfish?

BIL: No. JAM-fish.

PittGirl: Bite me.

Despite the lack of ocean time, it was a great week of food and sun and shopping and just being sisters with my sisters.

As for the beach reading, I read David Sedaris’ Naked and finally started the Da Vinci Code (I KNOW!). David Sedaris. You know, it was a brilliant first few chapters and then I was very meh about the rest of the book. The problem is that the inside of the book doesn’t live up to the hype on the outside of the book where reviewers are giving it SIX-THOUSAND STARS and are assuring me that I am going to pee my pants from laughing so hard.

That didn’t happen. And the nude-camp chapter? Oy. Boring.

Maybe I should try a different Sedaris book?

2. Next Thursday I will be staring into the beautifully imperfect face of one Bryan Adams and there’s someone who sure as hell had better live up to the hype. I better come away from that concert giving him SIX THOUSAND STARS in addition to the sundry items of underwear I’ll likely fling onto the stage.

3. The Cutting Edge has included The Burgh Blog in their last two editions. Holla!

4. I don’t know if pelicans normally eat pigeons, but I do know that that particular pelican now resides in a special place in my heart. That place is called the DIE PIGEONS, DIE chamber.

(h/t Jon)

5. Wordle is addictive. Here’s one I made of my site and I’m so pleased to see the words Ta-Ta and Poobah both made it on there.

Also, when the family decided to take a boat out snorkeling, it was the Grand Poobah’s voice you heard calling out throughout the house that morning at regular intervals, “We are departing in 22 minutes. Repeat, you have 22 minutes or you will be left behind! … 19 minutes, people. 19 minutes until departure!”

And it worked. Had I been in charge it would have been, “22 minutes, people! We should have left 22 minutes ago! The boat has sailed. Go back to bed.”

(h/t Emily)

6. The perfect gift for the little thug in your life. Gangsta Baby Dolls complete with bling and dead unblinking eyes.

Comin straight outta crib-town! Each of these 10-inch hooddlers is A-Listing in the play ground. Rockin fabtastic clothing and so much baby bling that other rug rats can only catch their vapors. Series 1 set of 4 contains: Pookie: The green-eyed baller. But dont make him cranky… ya wouldnt like him when he’s cranky. Benjino: This carrot toped homey is holding the fort down. Rey Rey: From around the way way, a playa who is #1 with all the shorties. Big Deuce: Everyone knows this lil’ shot caller is runnin things.

Saucy is all, “Pookie sounds like he would bust a cap in your ass if you touched his fruit snacks.”

(h/t Nate)

7. Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies has photos of The Duke of Fug and the Earl of Gross’ pool complete with the number 7 on the bottom, a swim up bar and a waterfall.

It’s kind of awesome.

(h/t Andy)

8. The Buccos of Suckitude are in last place, as the world turns, these are the days of our lives, que sera will suck.

9. In regards to my hate for Marian Hossa, Bob Smizik thinks I’m a “knucklehead”. Which is fine, because I think he’s an ugly stupidface.





20 Comments

  1. Burgh Baby
    July 28, 2008 11:47 am

    $112 for the dolls? WTF? Not that I was going to buy one or anything . . . nope. Not at all. Ahem.



  2. Kat
    July 28, 2008 11:52 am

    I didn’t think Naked was laugh-out-loud funny, either. Now, I read Me Talk Pretty One Day on a plane, and people were staring at me because I was laughing so hard.



  3. Me
    July 28, 2008 11:55 am

    Yeah, I’d have to say that Naked was my least favorite Sedaris. Dress Your Family in Corduroy was my personal favorite. Welcome back, by the way.



  4. Thee Dude
    July 28, 2008 12:07 pm

    Bob Smizik stupid uglyface. Although I have to honestly say I have never seen the rest of him. Just that gawd-awfull pic they have next to his articles. What does he care about what us “knuckleheads” think anyhow? He is not supposed to report on it, but rather about SPORTS! I mean about facts, figures, who’s getting traded, who hit the home run. I bet he is a furry. Can anyone guess what he would be? I say he puts on green body paint, straps on a galvanized washtub, and becomes a turtle.



  5. Rachel
    July 28, 2008 12:09 pm

    Honestly, Naked was the only one out of all of them that really made me laugh.

    Overall though, I’m not all too impressed with his work. There are plenty of bloggers who are more capable of cracking me up.

    …wink.



  6. Pittsburgh Tom (in NJ)
    July 28, 2008 12:10 pm

    #8 – At this point, I’m okay if the Pirates suck the rest of the year if they can only sweep the three games series in Philly. I have tickets to all three games. I have great seats, one in the first row in left field and the other two in the front row of the 300 level. I’ll likely be attending every game with a Phillies fan. I just got a new Jason Bay jersey. It’ll be the week after my birthday. I just want to see the Pirates win those three games.



  7. dayafternext
    July 28, 2008 12:21 pm

    Welcome back! Great post. The pelican v. pigeon video was pretty ridic.



  8. Mel
    July 28, 2008 12:39 pm

    Yes, “Me Talk Pretty One Day” is pure hilarity! I found myself laughing constantly throughout the book AND it was hard to put it down.

    Welcome back.



  9. Betsy
    July 28, 2008 12:59 pm

    PittGirl – Sedaris’ Holidays on Ice is also meh, EXCEPT for the first essay about being an elf at Macy’s Santaland, which you should run, not walk, to read!!



  10. Al Luccioni
    July 28, 2008 1:49 pm

    That Smizik has a lot of nerve using Jedi mind tricks like logic and the ability to write. Where does he get off? Where oh where is our great super genius when we need him?



  11. gunnlino
    July 28, 2008 1:50 pm

    You got it right about Smizik, he was a classmate of mine at Peabody Hi, he was a pompous ass then and he still thinks he’s better than anyone else.
    Otherwise, welcome back, you were missed.



  12. Sarah
    July 28, 2008 1:56 pm

    I tried to read “Me Talk Pretty One Day” ages ago and couldn’t get into it. More recently I listened to “Dress Your Family etc.” in audiobook form, as read by the author, and had trouble prying myself from the car because I wanted to keep listening. I think his voice adds an extra layer of funny.



  13. DPUTiger
    July 28, 2008 2:02 pm

    Smizik is a tool. Welcome back. You should listen to Sedaris as an audiobook since he narrates them himself. That’s how I “read” Me Talk Pretty One Day and I definitely enjoyed it.

    Finally, a pigeon got vaporized in yesterday’s NASCAR race. Here’s the best clip youtube has to offer:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reNJx6avOq0



  14. Z
    July 28, 2008 2:07 pm

    I’ve found that listening to David Sedaris is the only way to go. Download him to your MP3 player and listen at the beach while watching the hunks go by.



  15. Anonymous
    July 28, 2008 2:28 pm

    I also read “Naked” and laughed in the beginning of the book. In fact I laughed so hard I cried. Then the rest of the book fell short. Found this web site earlier and thought you might enjoy.

    http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/26/25-david-sedaris/



  16. Chicklit
    July 28, 2008 5:14 pm

    I second the person who said listening to David Sedaris is the way to go…I listened to me talk pretty one day and was ROTF! The first essay where he goes to speech was hilarious (of course, I am in that profession-so maybe it was an inside joke)…
    SO….How do you like The DaVinci Code??



  17. Tony
    July 28, 2008 5:47 pm

    Welcome back!! Life at work hasn’t been the same without you.



  18. Dug
    July 28, 2008 9:02 pm

    That better be real bling they’re wearing!



  19. DeutschtownFrau
    July 28, 2008 10:33 pm

    I agree — Lately Sedaris is over-hyped — who could live up to that? — but I read “Dress Your Family…” straight through on a flight from Calif. back to the Burgh and wept with laughter the whole time. Esp. the one about helping his sister, while on the phone long-distance with her, to open stuck jar lids… Still gasping for air.

    I’ve never heard his voice. Will get tapes.

    Don’t you love his sis Amy when she’s on Letterman? What a family.

    Welcome back PG.



  20. BIGGEORGE
    July 29, 2008 7:37 am

    You should have come down to Sarasota, FL,
    no jelly fish. Siesta beach is a white
    sandy beach.

    I watched the video of the pelican, but I
    have been told they don’t eat big fish, so
    I don’t know how that one ate a pigeon.

    Good to have you back!!!