Jeremy Bloom vs. The Asshat

Don Banks from Sports Illustrated gives a rundown of various Steelers news out of training camp, and of note, he wrote about Smokin’ Hot Burgher Jeremy Bloom:

My all-time favorite mogul skier is in camp with the Steelers. Wide receiver Jeremy Bloom has a legitimate shot to win the team’s wide-open competition at punt returner. Bloom, a fifth-round pick of the Eagles in 2006, told me he finally started feeling like a full-fledged football player last year, when his legs finally made the transition to the sport from skiing.

Anything is better than what we’ve had, punt-return wise, particularly better than Butterfingers Asshat, who says he’d like another shot at it.

“The more involved I can get in the offense and touching the ball early in the game – whether it’s fair-catching or getting the ball 6, 7 yards on a punt return – the better I think I’ll play throughout the whole game,” Holmes said Wednesday, after the next-to-last of the Steelers’ offseason workouts at their South Side training complex.

You guys, he thinks he’s doing us a favor if he can regularly manage to get a whopping six yards on a punt return.  Six yards!

He’s reaching for the stars.

“That’s the coaches’ mindset,” Holmes said. “They want me to be the best wide receiver to help this team and not risk going out there and getting injured. If that’s the way they feel, I’ve got to go with it and be more of a football player and just play football.”

I don’t have time to address the brilliance of the phrase “be more of a football player and just play football” because I’m afraid we mere mortals cannot begin to understand the complexity of that statement.

Asshat, and I say that respectfully (no I don’t.  I say it like this:  “Aaaaasss-haaaaaaat”), Coach Tomlin not wanting you to return punts has nothing to do with not wanting you to get injured, you giant giant stupid doofus.  It has to do with the fact that a drunk pig with three legs could return a punt further than you can.

Good gawd.

Also, here’s a reminder of Jeremy Bloom’s hotness, because I wuv you girls:

[lick]





19 Comments

  1. MountaineerHoo
    July 29, 2008 8:25 am

    Mmmmm…..good morning Jeremy Bloom! Thanks for that hotness, PG!



  2. Alison
    July 29, 2008 8:47 am

    that just made my morning even better.



  3. dwihgt
    July 29, 2008 9:15 am

    Dayummmmmmmmm!



  4. Mia`
    July 29, 2008 9:21 am

    *grabs and napkin to wipe up the drool*
    Damn what a way to start the day!
    *goes off to google someone…..*



  5. Mrs Pitsberger
    July 29, 2008 9:59 am

    Thank you, thank you, thank you, Ms. PG!! Yum.

    That’s what I’m having for breakfast.



  6. emstef23
    July 29, 2008 9:59 am

    whoa….i had no idea he was that hot. Hello Jeremy – you just gave me a whole new reason to go to a Steelers game this season!



  7. beaner
    July 29, 2008 10:27 am

    yowza



  8. Becky
    July 29, 2008 10:57 am

    lick is right……



  9. Jen
    July 29, 2008 11:20 am

    Thank you for brightening my day. Yum.



  10. john
    July 29, 2008 12:07 pm

    rolling eyes …photoshopped…



  11. Bram R
    July 29, 2008 12:17 pm

    “…a drunk pig with three legs could return a punt further than you can.”

    You know Skippy Skeeve just forwarded a link to this post on to Mike Tomlin, all like “Put me in coach! I’m ready to play!”



  12. Ohio Steelers Girl
    July 29, 2008 1:47 pm

    Oh yeah. Now I remember why I was so excited when they signed him last year.

    I hope hubby gets pics of THAT for me!!

    I’d like to say more but I have to go wipe the drool from my chin.



  13. Amanda
    July 29, 2008 2:12 pm

    ::eyes pop out of sockets::



  14. Ravishing Rick
    July 29, 2008 3:21 pm

    I knew somebody over at the PG would find a picture of me!

    Jeremy Bloom-Ravishing Rick



  15. scottie
    July 29, 2008 8:06 pm

    You must love some of us boys, too. :-) ::Drool::



  16. Matthew
    July 29, 2008 10:04 pm

    I know this may be considered a bit off topic, but isn’t 6 or 7 yards better than the -3 to 0 we were getting on punt returns last year?



  17. Trish
    July 30, 2008 5:18 am

    Damn, you can bounce quarters off those abs.



  18. Ravishing Rick
    August 1, 2008 7:19 pm

    ?



  19. regina
    August 2, 2008 4:08 am

    you can have the broken spatula i eill take the muscled jeremy