Hush now.

As you’ve heard, my imaginary self-united husband Daniel Sepulveda has a torn ACL that will cause him to miss the entire 2008 football season.

Yesterday, I spent a good part of the evening sitting on the couch with his head in my lap while he read quietly from the book of Job and the other husbands did their best to cheer him up.

David Conrad was all, “Forsooth.  I cannot blame thee now to weep; for such an injury would vex a very saint.”

Matt Lamanna chimed in with, “You know, in prehistoric times, dinosaurs were known to suffer from an inflammatory joint disease in their knees called spondyloarthropathy, which is super interesting because …”

And then just as I was giving them both the my God, shut up look, Doug Mientkiewicz burst into the room, grabbed hold of his own shirt and ripped it asunder for no reason, then was all, “What the hell are you all doing just sitting around?!  We have work to do!  Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!”

Then he sports-slapped us all on our butts.

Oh, did I forget to tell you I self-united to Dougy, too?

Yeah.  It has been very … shouty.


  1. Tony N
    July 30, 2008 8:25 am

    I think there’s a whole sitcom to be made out of you hanging around with all your self-united husbands.

  2. Dan (Not Onarato)
    July 30, 2008 8:56 am

    I almost spit my coffee out through my nose….that was hilarious..thanks PG…you rock

  3. dwight
    July 30, 2008 9:34 am

    CLASSIC! Hahah. Love it. (And, PG, I’ll overlook the artistic license you took in saying Daniel was at your house last night. We were at my place eating Texas barbecue and reading “Deuteronomy.”)

  4. deebee
    July 30, 2008 9:37 am

    Heard the news on WDVE this am,couldn’t wait to see what you had to say.

  5. regina
    July 30, 2008 2:25 pm

    I have him at my place now and were reading leviticus while eating crackers in bed. “oh my poor baby can I reajust that knee brace for you Danny”!!

  6. Still A. Fan
    July 30, 2008 8:58 pm

    i hear chris gardocki is unsigned. did you know he’s never had a punt blocked?