Two conversations about my husbands.

Sitting in Pens Fan’s living room yesterday after dinner, watching Fox Sports prior to the Pirates game and Daniel Sepulveda pops on the screen.

Father of PittGirl: Look. It’s your guy.

PittGirl: [throws herself to the carpet in mock despair at his injury]

Father of PittGirl: You really think he’s good looking?

PittGirl: Duh.

Father of PittGirl: He’s ugly. Look at him.

PittGirl: What?!

Father of PittGirl: He’s not attractive.

PittGirl: [realizing her father might be senile] WHAT?!?!

Father of PittGirl: Look at his face! He looks like he went ten rounds with Mike Tyson. All puffy.

PittGirl: Oh, Dad. I have some pictures I could show you …

Father of PittGirl: Uh. No thanks.

Whatever.

Slightly later, as the Pirates game is about to begin, Pens Fan plops down on the couch next to me where I’m feeling the effects of a merlot-chased mojito, which, learn from my mistakes, y’all.

Pens Fan: Oh, PittGirl. I have never noticed, you know, what’s his name. Doug …

PittGirl: Doug Mientkiewicz.

Pens Fan: Right. Yesterday, he was up to bat and I really took a look at him and paid attention to him during the game …

PittGirl: Yeah?

Pens Fan: [Glancing toward her husband and then back to me to give me the I’d like to know Doug in the biblical sense of the word look] Oh my…

PittGirl: I hear you. I think it’s something about the way he wears his socks.

Pens Fan: No. It’s his forearms. There’s something about them. They’re so … [she stops herself, but I think she wants to make the nom nom nom sound]

[Suddenly, he flashes on the screen.]

PittGirl: Look! Socks. Mrowr.

Pens Fan: Arms. Hsssss.

Father of PittGirl: He’s ugly. Look at him!

PittGirl and Pens Fan: WHAT?!?!

Clearly, Burghers, Father of PittGirl has no concept of what women find attractive in men … socks and arms.

Of course, I’m pretty sure he thinks George Bush is the hottest man alive.

Mrowr.





16 Comments

  1. BobM
    July 31, 2008 11:31 am

    Does your Dad experience tingling feelings in his legs whenever he sees Mayor Lukey?
    Your Dad is either trying to repress homoerotic impulses, or needs to see the eye doctor to freshen up the old bifocals.
    I can see where hot-blooded hot Pittsburgh women could find those two guys attractive.
    Just sayin’



  2. Seriously Not Gay
    July 31, 2008 11:34 am

    But that picture of Sepulveda….goddamn.



  3. pittgirl
    July 31, 2008 11:36 am

    … counting down until Dwight chimes in …



  4. Goob
    July 31, 2008 12:45 pm

    So, wait; the trick is to wear socks on your arms?

    This is terribly confusing.



  5. dwight
    July 31, 2008 12:52 pm

    3 … 2 … 1 …

    Blast off!

    You’re father cracks me up, PG. “He’s ugly.” Well, he may have a little sexy-ugly going on. But he’s mostly sexy-hot, Father of Pitt Girl.

    And while I don’t usually like to take his name in vain, about that picture, “goddamn(!)” is right, Seriously Not Gay (who I am hoping is a real straight guy because that name will be even more awesome if you are).



  6. Messier
    July 31, 2008 2:29 pm

    lawdy PG, sounds like you’re pinin’ somethin’ awful.



  7. NotGettingIt
    July 31, 2008 3:44 pm

    No, srsly, I don’t get it. The swearing over Sepulveda’s photo — is that because he looks kinda meh from the neck up or is it because he looks incredible from the neck down??

    Doug M. looks like he couldn’t take a bad picture if you paid him to… not that I would.



  8. Sportshater
    July 31, 2008 7:30 pm

    PG, I love ya but up ’til now have yawned through your sports posts. Now I get it: you’re not in it for the scores, you’re in it for the hottie athletes. That’s a policy I can support. :-) Keep those Sepulveda and Jeremy Bloom pix coming!



  9. scottie
    July 31, 2008 7:52 pm

    Mmmmm Girl, Give me a piece of those boys. I would nurse Danny Boy so nicely that he’d be all “Football? What’s that?” ::drool::



  10. Amanda
    July 31, 2008 10:13 pm

    Under Armor has never looked so good. The picture of Sepulveda is so yummy…makes me faint just looking at it! I hope he has a full and speedy recovery.



  11. Alison
    August 1, 2008 6:59 am

    damn. thats all i can say
    and my dad just laughs when my mom and i talk about the hotties. or when my mom says that most of the pens are “nice boys.”



  12. Lauren
    August 1, 2008 9:23 am

    Um, I hope they only issue the Under Armor apparel to the likes of Daniel, and not, you know, Baby CiCi Donna. Sorry to ruin the visual, but that is the second thing that popped into my head after looking at that picture. The first, of course, was DAMN : )



  13. Christina
    August 1, 2008 9:40 am

    I saw Daniel Sepulveda on the news the other night and I commented outloud to my boyfriend, “Boyfriend, he’s really not as hot-looking as he used to be.” It made me very sad. His face looked very puffy.



  14. Miley-Cyrus-Fan
    August 1, 2008 1:13 pm

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  15. Janet18
    August 3, 2008 2:55 pm

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