What they’re really thinking … Training Camp 2008 Edition

Do you smell that?  It smells like football time.  You know, the smell of grass, sweat, jock-itch cream, and the leftover whore residue of the sluts Skippy Skeeve cavorted with last night.

It also smells like time to check in with our babymama-beating Steelers:

1.  Troysus, beardless but scruffy and superdarnhot is there, doing Jesus-y things as usual.

2.  Then Troysus saw some nipples and went to town.

NOT very Jesus-y, Troysus.

3.  Coach Tomlin, having made an example out of Baby Cici Donna, who you might know as Fat Bastard, has been keeping a close eye on the rest of the team’s butts.

4.  When not checking their asses out, Coach Tomlin has been riding them to work harder.  See:

He can tell when guys are pushing it, pushing through and not ‘fakin’ the funk’ but still doing all the little things you’re supposed to do when you’re not tired,” cornerback Deshea Townsend said. “You can tell when guys are slowing down, fakin’ the funk, but guys are working. That’s the sign of a good team, how you work when you’re tired.”

Fakin’ the funk might be the best thing I’ve heard all week.

5.  As you know, injuries have been ridiculous lately.  Groins being pulled.  Knees being overextended.  Legs being Charley-horsed.  It’s gotten so bad that I hear they’ve had to bring in spare body parts.

Gosh.  I hope that’s not the leg Daniel Sepulveda ordered because … awkward.

6.  Before we leave, let’s just check in with Fat Bastard one more time:

Still fat.

I don’t know about you, but I think he’s fakin’ the funk.

Also, I could go for a fluffernutter.


  1. Magnus Patris
    August 6, 2008 8:19 am

    “Nom-nom-nom”. I love it! Can we please add that to the Lexicon?

  2. The Keebler Elf
    August 6, 2008 8:33 am

    He looks like Rerun chasing the crew during the opening credits of “What’s Happening?”

  3. MiamiShyner
    August 6, 2008 8:39 am

    Oh dear, I’ve just lost my coffee through my nose at “Who ordered a new leg in black?” Is it terribly wrong to think that Skippy tried to order that leg but rather than check the box for left or right, he wrote in middle? Asshat envy struck him?

  4. NY Luvs Pitts
    August 6, 2008 8:53 am

    Fluffernuffer???? Hah!!!! Now that’s funny!!!

  5. frittob
    August 6, 2008 9:06 am

    “Baby Cici Donna, who you might know as Fat Bastard”

    personally, i like the nickname “Big Snack”

  6. Eric W
    August 6, 2008 9:39 am

    William Perry was “the Refrigerator”. Does that make Baby Cici Donna “the Refrigerated Semi”?

  7. NY Luvs Pitts
    August 6, 2008 10:06 am

    @ Eric W — I think it would make him “The Meat Locker”.

  8. unsatisfied
    August 6, 2008 10:32 am

    “fat bastard”.

    “fakin’ the funk”.


  9. Puma
    August 6, 2008 10:41 am

    I say, keep Casey fat. He’s due for at least one fat-guy-running-for-touchdown this way.


  10. Miss Lee
    August 6, 2008 10:58 am

    Ahhh… nothing heralds the coming of Fall like the season’s first edition of “What They’re Really Thinking.”

    I can almost hear my turtleneck sweaters and do-me boots quivering in anticipation.

  11. mrs pitsberger
    August 6, 2008 1:09 pm

    Has anyone self-united with Mike Tomlin yet? Cause I’m all over that. He’s nom nom nommy.

  12. Brother Anthony
    August 6, 2008 2:01 pm

    I’d like to find a deli that makes fluffernutters.

  13. deebee
    August 6, 2008 6:54 pm

    “Fakin the funk”… I love it! Is that the play book Coach Tomlin has in his shorts or is just happY??

  14. Carla
    August 7, 2008 7:36 am

    This made me laugh out loud at my computer…my coworkers already think I’m nuts…