Yeah, THAT document.

My fellow Plurkers and I discussed office supplies recently.  A discussion that began when I mentioned that I wanted the new Sharpie Pen, then started up again when I mentioned I got myself a new Sharpie Pen and that I am very meh about it.

It’s a pen.  From Sharpie. That writes like any other pen.  Whee.  I think I was expecting it to at least compliment me on occasion or something.  But nada.  Just a pen.  A regular old pen.

Then RockinPRgirl mentioned her stapler, the Paper Pro, the same stapler that sits on my desk at work.  I’m not being hyperbolic when I tell you that the Paper Pro One Touch Stapler will one day save the world.

This thing.  You get up to 25 sheets of paper.  Stick them in.  Give it a teensy bitty touch like you’re going to tickle a flea and BAM!  Staples the crap out of your papers.  Shows those papers who’s boss and it ain’t Luke Ravenstahl.

I find it comes in handy when this happens:

Boss:  [enters PittGirl’s office] PittGirl?  Do you have a copy of the Document That I Keep Losing?

PG:  The document that I have given to you about 30 times over the last three months?  The document that I have emailed to you, PDF’d for you, printed out for you, walked over to you, handed to you, placed on your chair, put in your box, put in your briefcase, and taped to your monitor over and over and over again?  That document?

Boss:  Yeah, that Document That I Keep Losing.

PG:  Sure.  Here you go.  [BAM!]

Boss:  Thanks. [Walks out of the office with the Document That I Keep Losing stapled to his forehead.]





18 Comments

  1. Allison
    August 7, 2008 7:49 am

    Yeah…I think I need that for my boss.



  2. Thee Dude
    August 7, 2008 8:03 am

    I hope your boss does not steal that and leave you with his Boston. You might “burn this building down”.

    http://www.moviewavs.com/php/sounds/?id=gog&media=WAVS&type=Movies&movie=Office_Space&quote=thatsgreatmilton.txt&file=thatsgreatmilton.wav



  3. retiredguy
    August 7, 2008 8:06 am

    Does it come in red?



  4. unsatisfied
    August 7, 2008 8:23 am

    I think we need to talk about your flair…..



  5. DeutschtownFrau
    August 7, 2008 8:30 am

    Forget Sharpies. The pen that will change your life is the Zebra F-402. No kidding. And don’t be fooled by the lower-number Zebra look-alike. (401? 302? Can’t remember. It doesn’t weigh as much.)

    The 402 puts some heft in your hand. (Good slogan — if anybody advertised pens anymore.) Black rubber grip on stainless steel tube.

    PG, you’ll be all mwowr over this pen.



  6. Alison
    August 7, 2008 8:33 am

    with a stapler like that, i’d put a few staples in my hand somehow. probably on purpose to get out of the office.



  7. Burgh Baby
    August 7, 2008 8:39 am

    I still think that stapler is one sexy bitch. I might have to get me some of that.



  8. bucdaddy
    August 7, 2008 9:05 am

    That reminds me … if you can find a way to do it without compromising your anonymity, could you describe what job it is you have that allows you time to perform such extensive posting? I just hope it’s not my tax dollars at “work” (though it would be one of the best expenditures of them).



  9. Amazon woman
    August 7, 2008 9:06 am

    OMG, I can’t believe you’re featuring that stapler. It is THE BEST EVER. I work at a CPA firm and there’s no tax return the PaperPro can’t conquer.

    It would also be great for people who have arthritis. You barely have to push it and “Zap!” the staple is sprung.

    PS Happy birthday Sid!



  10. Jeff the Speech Therapist
    August 7, 2008 10:11 am

    Um, you sure you don’t work in my office? In Ohio?

    And if you’re not already enamored of them, you should check out Knock Knock (.biz)’s sticky-note collection. I have the “Or else” and “Just thought you should know” that then have pithy-fun things like “Just thought you should know…you’re too loud/everyone knows/etc.” as check boxes on them.

    You can get ’em at Urban Outfitters (and then run away) or through the Website.



  11. Christina
    August 7, 2008 10:34 am

    This talk of good pens and office supplies is making me all tingly. I love extra fine point Sharpies. I am definitely going to look into getting/hoarding a Paper Pro for my desk. Enough of this manual stapling. Who needs it? I am also going to look into the Zebra F-402. Sigh. Geeks, the lot of us.



  12. educ8rshan
    August 7, 2008 11:20 am

    ah, yes, the paper pro… if one could self-unite with a stapler that would be the one!



  13. Christine
    August 7, 2008 12:38 pm

    Hey, PittGirl, just how anonymous are you? Is your family sworn to secrecy? Your officemates too? Otherwise, wouldn’t conversations about sharpies and staplers give you away (or don’t your officemates read?)? (Clueless bosses are a dime a dozen, so no worries there…)



  14. Maria
    August 7, 2008 1:32 pm

    I’m such a dork for office supplies. I just ordered that stapler. And I am litterally giddy with excitement. I’m going to staple everything I can get my hands on.



  15. Jenn
    August 7, 2008 3:13 pm

    Wow, I got PittGirl/Burgh Blog love. Squee!

    It is the best stapler ever, folks. Seriously.



  16. Cindy T.
    August 9, 2008 11:29 am

    I am sitting here laughing hysterically about the stapler and the boss that keeps losing the document. I thought I was the only admin that had bosses like that. Makes you wonder how they got where they are. They can make you crazy doing the same things over and over for them like little babies.



  17. Maxie
    August 10, 2008 11:21 am

    there is a document that my boss keeps having me print out for him too– now he just refers to it as “the thing that i keep losing”



  18. CFluck
    August 29, 2008 1:47 pm

    Down here they sell a smaller and cheaper model at Kroger. 15 sheets in a click and they come in blue, red and green.

    Zebra 402 is good but I love my Pilot Dr. GRIP Gel and it’s self united pencil.