1. I finally got a Wii Fit and I gotta tell you, I’m a little afraid to find out what my Wii Fit Age is. I’ll let you know after I use it for the first time tonight, unless it is over 65. Then I’ll throw that lying son of a bitch out the window.
2. I love him, I do, but can we stop talking to Michael Phelps about the 4×100 free relay win yesterday and start talking to the guy that won it for him Jason Lezak? That was otherworldly to watch. And who knew there was such a thing as “drafting” in swimming?
Watching on deck, Phelps let out a resounding “Yeaaaaaah!” and thrust both arms toward the roof of the Water Cube.
Which is interesting because I didn’t know the word “Yeaaaaaaah!” started with an “F”. Huh.
3. The CraigsList posters from Pittsburgh have been oddly normal as of late, however, there’s this local What The Effie trying to recruit for his new group The Pittsburgh Cheaters Club:
Looking to organize a small group of married individuals that have a desire to cheat on their spouse. Looking to somehow maintain an even number of men and women(d/d free)that can be discreet and meet with each other to full fill needs outside of their marriage. Everyone despite their age, race, looks are welcome…just be discreet and open minded……
Yes, married people! Come one, come all and meet other losers who might be old and fat and ugly to have super dreamy illicit sex with people we have to trust when they tell us they are free of disease and who we hope will not turn out to be crazy enough to boil your kid’s bunny rabbit.
This won’t end badly at all.
4. An email:
On Tuesday August 19, the Heinz History Center will be holding a press conference announcing the start of production of a feature documentary about the history and scientific achievements of the University of Pittsburgh’s Allegheny Observatory.
David Conrad, who will narrate the film, is planning to attend.
The film is executive produced by Bill Peduto. Yes. THAT Bill Peduto.
I’m pleased David is doing this because he’ll need the practice for when he narrates the next documentary: How the Choke-A-Bitchocrats Changed Pittsburgh Politics.
5. Forbes ranked Pittsburgh the 11th hardest drinking city in the country.
I blame the Steelers.
6. How weird is it to see Byron Leftwich in a Steelers uniform? Hella!
7. There are news reports today, legitimate news reports, that scientists are getting close to perfecting a cloak of invisibility, which sends my inner nerd, a girl I didn’t even know existed in me, into a giddy frenzy.
You can be sure, Burghers, that if I can get my hands on a cloak of invisibility that for the rest of his life David Conrad will always feel like he is being followed. Especially into the shower.
Then he’ll be standing there washing his hair, asking himself, “Did I just hear someone say, ‘Bow chicka bow’?”