Pants. Aflame.

The Duke of Fug and the Earl of Gross is featured in the September issue of Maxim magazine in their 2008 All Maxim Team (as are Troysus and Skippy Skeeve) and not only is he on the team, but he’s also got a nice big profile article in there on page 88 that trickles over onto page 89.

First the header text:

Brady’s got Gisele.  Peyton’s got his pedigree.  But this year’s All-Maxim QB is the regular guy who restored a city and a franchise to greatness.

No comment.

Here’s the opening paragraph:

You might expect to find an off-duty NFL quarterback lounging in the VIP section of a club in Vegas or South Beach.  But if you’re looking for Ben Roethsliberger, check the dive bars across the river from downtown Pittsburgh.  “Pittsburgh is Iron City, Yuengling, and Rolling Rock,” Roethlisberger says.  “It’s about the tough bars where the steelworkers and the coal miners hang out.  It’s great to have a beer with them.”

Bull. Shit.  Go ahead.  Check the dive bars.  You’ll be looking forever because there is no way in hell you’ll find Benny there.

I’m sorry.  I have read story after story about Benny in Vegas.  Benny partying in this VIP area or that VIP area.  Benny watching some lesbians make out in the VIP area.  Never once have I heard of Benny having a beer “across the river” with the regular boys.

I will say the article does a nice job of summarizing his career here in Pittsburgh, his accident (“I was seconds from dying.”) and ends with Benny saying, “Pittsburgh is perfect for me.  I don’t want to go anywhere else.  The first job I ever had is the one I have right now.  It’s working all right for me.”

Aww.  That part I like.

Also,

“I’m not a surfer from California,” he says.  “I’m not a pretty boy.”

That’s church.

(h/t Pittsburgh Tom)





41 Comments

  1. DW
    August 19, 2008 11:07 am

    I don’t care if he lives in a van down by the river, just play well and get ‘r done.

    I do have a sneaking suspicion Ben will be running for his life again this year and the Stillers will go out and get a stud lineman next year to protect their $100 million star that parties with the working man ;)



  2. J
    August 19, 2008 11:09 am

    Steelworkers? Miners?? That alone tells you he is full of shit? Have their even been Coal miners in Pittsburgh since the nineteenth century???



  3. maxtalbot
    August 19, 2008 11:15 am

    DW, Ben’s going to see so much of the sod at Heinz Field that he’ll be a bona fide expert. Once his playing career is prematurely ended, he can finally install some turf that will withstand more than three scrimmages.



  4. Mitch Cumstein
    August 19, 2008 11:41 am

    Forget the line, if Ben would learn what a three-step drop is, he’d cut the number of sacks by one-third to one-half.



  5. joey
    August 19, 2008 12:09 pm

    Someone might want to tell Benny that Yeungling is made on the other side of the state, and Rolling Rock is made in Jersey.

    Of course, he still believes in steelworkers and miners, as he is hanging with them in those dive bars.
    (oddly, those steelworkers and miners are seemingly all blondes with big tits…)



  6. chrys
    August 19, 2008 12:17 pm

    Isn’t Pittsburgh looking to get out from under the whole “steelworking, smokey city” impression??

    Aww well.. as for dive bars where the steelworkers hang out.. where are they? I asked my father in law ( a retired steelworker) and he just laughed.. so okay Benny.



  7. efw_west
    August 19, 2008 12:25 pm

    Chiodo’s….gone, Gustine’s…..gone, where can he be hanging?



  8. Daniel
    August 19, 2008 12:29 pm

    I’ve read and heard ben talk about Pittsburgh several times and, to me, it is pretty obvious that the description of the bars where he supposedly hangs out was not done by him. He lives in Pittsburgh, I’m sure he knows that there aren’t miners and steelworkers around… Anyway…just a though on the matter.



  9. Me
    August 19, 2008 12:34 pm

    J — That’s church.

    Joey — Yuengling rocks.



  10. joey
    August 19, 2008 12:34 pm

    Actually, he lives in Hampton Township, in a neighborhood of multi-million dollar houses, with doctors, lawyers, and CFO’s (cough…upmc…cough) as neighbors, in a house with a giant fence around it to keep out the riff-raff (and the trick or treaters).

    Although, he was a regular at the bowling alley at Pittsburgh Mills when it was around….so maybe that’s where he got the old-school Pittsburgh vibe from….



  11. joey
    August 19, 2008 12:35 pm

    Me: yeungling does, indeed, rock. However, I would hardly characterize yeungling as a pittsburgh thing.



  12. Summer
    August 19, 2008 12:39 pm

    Doesn’t he know Rolling Rock is no longer made with our pure mountain streams, but with New Jersey swamp water?



  13. Pittsburgh Tom (in NJ)
    August 19, 2008 12:42 pm

    I grew up in a coal mining town. My first job was at a beer distributor, often delivering beer to dive bars where coal miners drank. Never saw one Steeler.

    I seem to remember a “news” story a couple years ago where a reporter followed Benny into a couple bars on Carson St. I believe Jack’s was one of them. I think he actually went to those places back then. Now that he’s a superstar and multi-millionaire, he’d probably cause a riot if he went now.

    And as much as I am a fan of barhopping on the South Side, I don’t consider any of the bars on Carson a “dive bar”. They’re too nice. I’ve been to real dive bars.

    And, outside of official appearances, the only places I’ve seen Steelers out on the town were Club Elite and Bare Elegance.

    And remember, this is Maxim magazine, not a place that employs real reporters.



  14. Pittsburgh Tom (in NJ)
    August 19, 2008 12:53 pm

    Actually, I think I still have some Rolling Rock made in Latrobe in my fridge. The ones with Myron Cope on the can. Yeah, they’re a little old, but my brother had one when he visited last month and said it was still good. I’d rather drink them than the New Jersey Rolling Rock.



  15. dayafternext
    August 19, 2008 1:07 pm

    Yeah, I wouldn’t trust too much of what’s written in Maxim. This is the magazine that wrote mediocre reveiws of albums by Nas and the Black Crowes well before the albums came out, even before many of the tracks were even completed. Once caught, the magazine confessed that the reviews were just “an educated guess.”

    So, yeah – there’s a good chance that those aren’t even Ben’s words; just what the magazine thinks their readers would like to hear. Or maybe Ben’s living in the 1920s.



  16. notafan
    August 19, 2008 1:23 pm

    Actually, I have seen Ben many times at Redfin Blues (at least when he used to live on Washington’s Landing). He had a thing for the waitresses- thank god most of them knew better.



  17. retiredguy
    August 19, 2008 1:26 pm

    LOL. Coal miners. What a dick. I grew up here and I spent more than a few hours in a few bars, and I never met a coal miner. You might still be able to meet a few steel workers.

    More than a few years ago,(the 70’s) you could occasionally see a Steeler or two hanging out in a couple of the bars in Dormont. They also really liked the bar/restaurant/hotel down on Banksville Road, the name of which escapes me now(Redwood?). My wife used to work there and she said Steve Coursin once pushed over a wall.



  18. dayafternext
    August 19, 2008 1:34 pm

    Used to see Bettis and Hines down at Tequila Willes on Wednesdays before the thing became a big piece of driftwood. Those were the days.



  19. Sarah
    August 19, 2008 1:40 pm

    Well, I know (not from experience mind you) that if you are a published model in Penthouse that they make up the “interview” part of it. This girl I know was quoted as saying she wants to be a lifeguard and she hates the beach – they just made it up.

    I suppose the justification is that A) no one is going to bother reading the type anyway or B) they are selling that part of the fantasy, too

    Though, I doubt the readers of Maxium are going to be staring at Ben for his eye candy appeal



  20. spoon
    August 19, 2008 1:53 pm

    Now I can see where Ben is coming from with his beer selection. As a whole the places that he frequents are $1 draft night specials, people drinking whatever shitty fad Bud comes out with and what beer whores in pumps are pimpin because WOOO the ad says it’s cool! Partially in fault are the bartenders who just serve drinks and don’t actually *KNOW* the drinks.

    (If he wanted decent craft beer he’d hit Pipers, Fat Heads, 1311, Smokin Joe’s and Jekyl & Hyde but he might not like the lack of drunken college kids with beer bongs)

    That aside every dive bar I’ve been into has been filled with mechanics, delivery drivers, shop workers. Everything BUT steel mill.

    If he wants to see rough, go to the Smiling Moose when a band is playing. My money is that he comes out missing teeth and some bruises.

    Ben needs to stop going out with Skippy.



  21. Spud's dad
    August 19, 2008 2:11 pm

    Spoon: Don’t forget the Sharp Edge (the real one in Friendship, not the poser suburban outposts). And he actually could meet steelworkers there; I popped in one day right after work for a wicked Belgian brew and sat at the bar next to a toothless guy drinking draft IC Light. He kept salting his glass to keep the head going, and talked incessantly about how Eleanor Roosevelt secretly ran the country when FDR was afflicted with polio.

    History lesson: 0/10
    Encounter with real Pittsburgher from the smoky days: 10/10



  22. spoon
    August 19, 2008 2:22 pm

    Oh yeah there are plenty of other places around Pittsburgh (thank god for bottle shops). I was focusing on the South Side where he seems most popular :)



  23. unsatisfied
    August 19, 2008 2:22 pm

    I can back joey — ben lives in hampton — I can almost see his house from my parents’ place. so, yeah, he ain’t hangin’ bar 11 or anything….

    I think that pittsburgh will never get rid of the “shot n’a beer”/steelworker/coal miner image because the steelers perpetuate it, thanks in part to the announcers who cover the games:

    “ooooh, NICE hit by hines ward! the fans love him here cuz he’s got that BLUE COLLAR MENTALITY….”

    if memory serves, a lot of blue collars left here around 1980.

    while I DO like the fact that people outside of pittsburgh seem to appreciate the hardworking reputation of our city, I wish that they’d RESPECT our city — so we’d have less of a chip on our collective shoulder. when I tell people that I am from pittsburgh, I get the “oooooh, that dirty, smoky city?” yeah — 50 years ago, maybe.

    as for benny — yeah, why don’t we see him more with skeevy?

    speaking of which — did anyone here watch the “cribs”-like report that skeevy did for wpxi when the steelers were at st. vincent? he was showing off his truck/18-wheeler cab of a vehicle — all pimped out with the requisite LED video screen in the back seat, which also reclines…..

    skeevy indeed.



  24. KGC
    August 19, 2008 2:40 pm

    RetiredGuy…

    Several Steelers used to hang at the Saloon in Mt. Lebanon.. Steve Courson, JR Goodman, Mark Malone, to name a few… They used to sit at the back right-hand side of the bar.. I, myself, spent many a night at the Saloon in the same area.. knew the bartender (Steve), made cassette tapes for the Saloon to use.. had an opportunity to meet each one of them on multiple occasions.. even bought a VCR from Steve Courson. Damn, JR was/is tall! (6’7″, I believe?) I’m 5’5″, a midget next to him.



  25. Sofa King
    August 19, 2008 2:46 pm

    I totally agree, unsatisfied. Perhaps if they cut to something other than tired footage of a blast furnace at least once a game when the Steelers have a nationally-televised game, it might help things a little.



  26. 2Port
    August 19, 2008 2:59 pm

    Damn PittGirl, have an extra glass of the Haterade this morning??



  27. retiredguy
    August 19, 2008 3:47 pm

    KGC

    Yeah, the Saloon. I forgot all about the Saloon! We used to start at Sullivans in Dormont and start walking south, hitting every bar on the way, until we got to Andy’s Loop. That was a lot of bars.



  28. Mitch Cumstein
    August 19, 2008 3:49 pm

    I think we whine about our steel/smoky city image a little too much. First off, we were still that city into the 1970s, when the Steelers became the real America’s team, so the image sticks. Big deal. Embrace it. We call tell other cities, “Bring it, b#$@!, we’re blue collar, steel making yinzers who will chug an Arn and stomp yo ass.” We could have a worse reputation than being a town/team with a blue collar work ethic. We could be (shudder) Cleveland.



  29. parking chair
    August 19, 2008 3:52 pm

    yeah, shouldn’t somebody in the city’s marketing/pr department be all over the network people to get them to stop using archaic imagery to represent the city. It’s bad enough when they show footage one of those glorious cheesesteaks and i have to hear Al Michaels say “that’s a sandwich from Pri-MAHN-ti Brothers. Who ever pronounces it that way?



  30. H
    August 19, 2008 4:01 pm

    It’s my understanding that Ben frequents the South Side a lot, even since moving to Hampton Township and sorry folks, but the only place I’ve ever had Yuengling (and witnessed bunches of other people “proudly” drinking it) is in Pittsburgh. I never traveled to the other side of the state, so it could be there as well, but it’s no where to be found where I live now.



  31. Pittsburgh Tom (in NJ)
    August 19, 2008 4:09 pm

    H- Yuengling is in fact available and very common in the Philly area. It’s been my main beer since Rolling Rock moved to Jersey. I’ve always considered Yuengling a Pennsylvanian beer, not a Philly beer and I’ve never heard it referred to as a local beer anywhere around here. Since I can’t get a Iron City or Penn Pilsner around here, Yuengling is the next best thing.

    And since all the guys I drink with at the bar drink light beer, I can always tell which beer is mine.



  32. H
    August 19, 2008 7:26 pm

    Penn Pilsner isn’t bad, but Iron makes me sick. Literally, I feel sick to my stomach if I drink more than half a bottle of the stuff.



  33. Shanti
    August 19, 2008 8:25 pm

    Sofa King…
    Agree with the comment about the networks always showing footage of blast furnaces during games. I actually was so annoyed that I shot an email to Fox several years ago. No reply.



  34. tw
    August 19, 2008 9:16 pm

    First…Yuengling is from Reading, Pa (which is North of Philly)…I should know, I live there.

    Second…be proud of that blue collar/hardworking mentality. I used to live in Pittsburgh and after coming out here to Reading I can definitely say there are more white collar out here, which is not good b/c they are so unappreciative, snooty, and just plain unfriendly. I am not the first person to notice either…if I ever meet a friendly face out here they are usually from Pittsburgh believe it or not. A Pittsburgher can enjoy a $1 beer and fries/slaw on their sandwich where the people out here think it’s just not good enough (not civilized enough unless it costs some $$$). How I wish to be back in the burgh…



  35. SportyGal85
    August 20, 2008 12:27 am

    So, to sum it up for us non-Burghers, the general consensus is that either Maixim or Ben or both are full of shit, seeing as they don’t even have steelworkers or coal miners in Pittsburgh anymore and even if they did, Ben, at 26, still hangs out at college bars, so, he would never meet them anyway.

    As for the city’s image…yeah, you guys should do something about that b/c I totally thought you guys were still making steel up there and that your city was sooty, dark, and gray. However, I would still consider visiting Pittsburgh; I wouldn’t want to be buried in Cleveland.



  36. proud to be a minion
    August 20, 2008 12:36 am

    Dearest Pittgirl,
    You only hear of Ben going to the VIP bars and such because you only care about the negative when it comes to our dear Franchise QB. Lucky for you I am minion, and have heard serveral stories of our franchise QB frequenting bars outside of the city that could in fact be “dive bars. Even, dare I say…biker bars! A friend of mine ran into him at a Primanties in Cranberry. He also frequents Quaker Steak and Lube. Whether or not the man has actually sat with Steel worker, well I’ll let decide if thats just Ben doing some good PR or not. But the point, Pittgirl, is BACK OFF! Seriously your love/hate thing with him is annoying. Its okay to like the QB. D-nile is not just a river in Egypt.

    Love always,

    a minion

    PS. Pittgirl step into the light!



  37. spoon
    August 20, 2008 7:21 am

    tw, last i checked Yuengling was made in Pottsville which is 35-40 miles or so north of Reading. That’s like saying New Castle is Pittsburgh.



  38. maxtalbot
    August 20, 2008 8:25 am

    parking chair, everytime the Steelers have a night game, you can count on the same stock footage. As my friend Bruce says, “Yup, that’s what we have in Pittsburgh – rivers and a sandwich shop.”

    I’ve started predicting what they will show in other cities. Smart money is on fish tacos in San Diego …



  39. unsatisfied
    August 20, 2008 8:47 am

    if anyone knows which beer is produced where, it’s father spoon, y’all. pottsville, it is — almost 100 mi. northwest of the land of the hated flyers.



  40. Nicole
    August 20, 2008 10:48 am

    Benny used to regularly hang out at Jack’s in the Southside- preaccident and all. I don’t think he does anymore though.



  41. Joe K.
    August 21, 2008 5:20 pm

    I don’t mind the footage of the blast furnace before football games. There still is a fair amount of steel produced in the region, and we can be proud of the history. With the financial and mortgage industries crashing, maybe it will give people the idea that getting back to manufacturing would be a good thing, producing goods instead of mortgage-backed securities.