But it’s got pretty feathers!

The PG has an adorable little multimedia gem in which they showcase various animals that live in our zoo or in the National Aviary.

Well, it WAS an adorable multimedia gem until they decided to feature a pigeon in their Creature Feature.

The Victoria Crowned Pigeon to be exact.  Some thoughts.

1.  When I sit on a bench in the Point, enjoying the water, and I decide to contemplate what animals would reside in my personal hell, topping my list that includes snakes, hairy spiders, scary howler monkeys, and Steely McBeam, is always A PIGEON AS BIG AS A FRICKIN’ CHICKEN!

That is a big giant pigeon.  I bet I couldn’t kick that thing three yards.  But that’s why I married Daniel Sepulveda.  Soon as his knee heals, we’re heading to the Aviary.  Watch out, Vicky.  I hope you know how to swim.

2.  I know, I know.  You’re like, “PittGirl.  It is a BEAUTIFUL bird!  Look at the pretty feathers in his head.  Why would you want to punt it into the Allegheny?”

I wrote it before, and I will write it again … I could stick some pretty feathers in a pile of horse poop, call it the Victoria Crowned Poop of Horse and guess what?

It’s still a pile of horse poop.

3.  There’s a point in the video where that deranged Aviary employee explains that the Victoria Crowned Sack of Poop has this “amazing ability” to make a loud booming noise by tipping their head forward and “bowing.”

Then they show the pigeon with a little girl standing next to it.  And the pigeon starts aggressively and deliberately pecking at the ground and making the noise (2:03 into the video).

She calls it bowing when clearly, Burghers, CLEARLY you can see that what is really happening is that pigeon is saying, “Child.  Let me show you exactly how I will peck your eyeballs out if my handler turns her back.”

Run, kiddies.  Run.

(h/t Jamie, Scott, and Sue)





20 Comments

  1. CFluck
    August 25, 2008 9:40 am

    Be glad you don’t live in Weirton! They’ve got actual chickens on the lose.



  2. gunnlino
    August 25, 2008 9:44 am

    I’ve been pooped on by a regular pigeon, which weighs what?, a pound?
    Well a chicken sized pigeon would weigh in excess of 4/5 pounds right, anything that flies and poops that much need to be disposed of in the river.



  3. NY Luvs Pitts
    August 25, 2008 9:46 am

    PG, That’s some Alfred Hitchcock (The Birds) mixed with some H. G. Wells (Food Of The God’s) B.S.

    Geeves, Now that was hillarious.



  4. Jordan
    August 25, 2008 9:57 am

    Is that family wearing the same outfit? Maybe the pigeon should poke out their eyes.



  5. Nate
    August 25, 2008 10:07 am

    I was torn this morning – I saw some adorable little baby birds hopping around a parking lot on Wood St. as I drove by, and then – BAM! – I see the mama pigeon come out from behind the wheel of a car, teaching her cute little babies in the ways of being a flying rat. They seemed cute enough that I wanted to save them, or at least give them a pass for the day.



  6. Mike Belgrove
    August 25, 2008 10:33 am

    I actually had a run in with that bird myself. I split my time between blogging and teaching kids. We took our kids to the aviary not too long ago and that pidgeon was there. It is indeed a pigeon because like the smaller version that we have downtown, they have no fear. The bird was actually pushing kids out of its way. funny stuff.



  7. ark
    August 25, 2008 10:50 am

    I hate pigeons. I saw one mutilated and smashed into the bricks in Market Square last week….

    I also noticed a pigeon in the banner across the top of your blog, near Troysus…..PittGirl, has that always been there?



  8. Pensgirl
    August 25, 2008 10:59 am

    I was walking to the local drugstore yesterday when I saw a bunch of pigeons pecking around in an alley. One of them was standing in a small cravice that was filled with water. It was standing there completely still, and it never bothered to look at me as I walked by (I didn’t kick it, Pittgirl, because I was in flip-flops and didn’t want pigeon guts on my pedicure). I don’t know what it was up to, but I know it couldn’t have been any good.



  9. JP
    August 25, 2008 11:09 am

    Howscome you never see baby pigeons?



  10. ark
    August 25, 2008 11:11 am

    Devilspawn come into this world full-grown and ready to terrorize?



  11. BIGGEORGE
    August 25, 2008 11:35 am

    This is a big pigeon. 2 times as big and
    5+ times as heavy.

    You don’t have to worry about this type
    infesting the city, it likes it warm and
    eats fruit. The wine country of California is in trouble if they get loose
    there!

    BIGGEORGE



  12. scottie
    August 25, 2008 11:42 am

    JP: I think she covered this earlier..but the reason why is that baby pigeons truly look like hellspawn: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ed/Baby_Pigeon.jpg
    ..and if we saw that on the side of the road, we’d squash it quickly…we’d go all “Squish squish squish your head!” on them. And thus, they hide.



  13. Sooska
    August 25, 2008 11:46 am

    PittGirl, I KNEW you’d jump on this video story. This is the Empress of pigeons- it’s bigger and has a headdress. You know that birds are descended from some dinosauers, right?

    Pensgirl, the pigeon in the puddle was either mesmerized by it’s own reflection in the water, fishing, or studying wave action to determine how to get pigeon navy into our cities for a take over by submarine.

    I was once attacked by a bird on the loose at the Aviary. We were done with our wak thorugh and when we tried to exit this bird blocked our way and came after me. Fist, my husband took our 2 kids to safety by carrying them past the thing, then he had to run interference for me by creating a distraction so I could get by the damn thing and through the exit door.



  14. Summer
    August 25, 2008 12:07 pm

    It’s true, there are around 100 “feral” chickens hanging out in a Weirton neighborhood. Rumor has it that they attacked a young lady, as well. Was that you, Pitt Girl?

    http://www.weirtondailytimes.com/page/content.detail/id/509087.html



  15. Alison
    August 25, 2008 12:32 pm

    THATS a pigeon?
    they are trying to disguise themselves. dont be fooled!



  16. marc
    August 25, 2008 1:09 pm

    Jeremy Bloom was cut from the Steelers per the Post Gazette



  17. Is it only Wednesday?
    August 25, 2008 1:53 pm

    with that thing on it’s head it reminds me of the penguin in Wallace & Gromit!

    http://www.wallaceandgromit.com/films/wrongtrousers/characters.html?character=0



  18. geeves
    August 25, 2008 2:54 pm

    “Howscome you never see baby pigeons?”

    Because they are hell-spawn and sent directly to the earth by the Dark Lord himself.



  19. Lump
    August 25, 2008 6:23 pm

    If yinz dahntahners’n’at wanna cheer yourselves up about the pigeon situation, take a walk around the Gulf Tower. The falcons in the penthouse suite have healthy appetites. When I worked there, we’d play “What animal did that rotting mound of bones and scrap on the sidewalk used to be?” Mostly the answer was “pigeon,” though sometimes it was “goodbye kitty.”

    Talk PPG Place into accommodating a falcon nest on one of its spires and I’m willing to bet that Market Square would be a whole lot less feathery.