I rule at my fake life.

In the Sunday P-G’s Ann Belser article about workers managing their fantasy football teams during work hours, a Burgher named Seth says:

Seth owns a team. He spends time every day working on his trades.

He checks the statistics, watches the games and keeps track of his players.

“Fantasy football is my life,” he said.

“The games happen on a Sunday, you have to come in on a Monday and rework your whole roster for next week’s game. It’s a 24-hour-a-day job.”

Sweet patooties! You don’t have to be a FBI profiler to know that Seth does not have a critically important job … or a non-virtual girlfriend.

Not to be a bitch or anything, but it is early and it is Monday and I am a little bit Garfield-bitchy about it… but, OMG. Get a real life. One with real people.

Also, this year I am taking part in the Sportsocracy.org Pittsburgh Bloggers Fantasy Football Challenge and by “taking part” I mean “winning it and it won’t take me 24-hours-a-day to do it because I got mad drafting skillz and by ‘mad drafting skillz’ I mean that ‘I am sending Rachel from That Night to the live draft in my stead, with my draft list, while we probably Twitter, and she’s going to help a sister out.'”

Look for the hot chick drinking Zima and saying “Dude. That’s church!” a lot. She’ll hiss at the hater that drafts Tom Brady and she might have pigeon guts dripping off of the pointy tips of her do-me boots. I can’t be sure.


  1. Pensgirl
    August 25, 2008 10:50 am

    I joined my first fantasy league this year, an NFL one at my office.

    From everything I can tell, ten minutes per week should be more than enough.

  2. TheJim
    August 25, 2008 11:28 am

    Seth is working on trades every day? Dude, real GMs aren’t working on trades every day of the season. The P-G either trumped up the drama a little bit or Seth is the hardest of hardcore.

  3. Ravishing Rick
    August 25, 2008 11:39 am


  4. Rachel
    August 25, 2008 2:26 pm

    Aw yeah.

    I mean, that’s church.

    I need to read up on my lexicon before Saucy rolls her eyes all, “bitch be trippin.”

  5. unsatisfied
    August 26, 2008 9:51 am

    I love football.

    I tried fantasy football about 10 years ago when I lived in VA. I had to quit after that one season because of three things:

    1) I had no time to devote to looking at who did what and who was hurt each week so that I could replace them.
    2) I couldn’t bear to root for someone I drafted from a team that I hated.
    3) it was the most. boring. thing. ever.