Oh, LaMont.

First, let’s recap.

Here’s a LaMont Jones approved outfit for summer.

Here’s LaMont Jones himself.

Bet you were hoping you’d never have to lay eyes on that photo again.  So sorry, but it is a necessary evil.

Here’s an outfit that LaMont Jones says is “flashy” and “pushing the fashion envelope.”

[blink]

Let’s put them on the Scale of Flashy and see which one is heavier.

Here’s Michelle Obama’s dress. Let’s watch what happens.

[scale tips as if a handful of q-tips have been sprinkled on it]

And here’s LaMont Jones in bright chartreuse hip-hugging, religion-showing swim shorts.

[scale thuds to the ground as if the Space Shuttle Discovery has been thrown on it and starts screaming, “OMG. Get it off. Get if off. Get it off!”]

I think we have our answer.

And the question is this: Does LaMont Jones know what the word “flashy” actually means?

(h/t Stephanique1)





35 Comments

  1. Burgh Wanna Be
    August 27, 2008 7:11 pm

    I wish that I could look as good as Michelle Obama did in that beautiful “not flashy” dress. Oh Lamont I think you need a new job.



  2. Xena
    August 27, 2008 7:28 pm

    And you don’t even have to weigh the plaid shorts/necklace/sunglasses/white hat outfit. I wonder what he has on his feet….



  3. Maria
    August 27, 2008 7:42 pm

    I always love Michelle Obama’s fashion choices. Maybe she should take LaMont’s job.



  4. scottie
    August 27, 2008 7:49 pm

    In that outfit…not only could you tell his religion, but you could tell he needs some cocoa butter; that man is ASHY! Next week he should explore fashionable moisturizers.



  5. B
    August 27, 2008 8:52 pm

    LOL @ Scottie!



  6. Still A. Fan
    August 27, 2008 9:41 pm

    reminds me i wanted to SNOPES her college thesis as it’s being passed around the net.



  7. Angie :-)
    August 27, 2008 10:40 pm

    Oh that tanning pic, not again!!! My eyeballs are burned… Oh lamont indeed! Michelle obama’s dress is nice but not pushing the envelope unless the envelope is coving your self up tastefully… jez.



  8. Lump
    August 28, 2008 6:14 am

    LaMont’s being a jealous, catty bitch. He wishes he could get away with wearing Michelle’s dress.



  9. Christina
    August 28, 2008 7:02 am

    Michelle Obama dresses appropriately for her age and is classy and elegant. She actually HAS taste. I’m not sure LaMont knows what that means.



  10. stateofmain
    August 28, 2008 7:12 am

    I particularly enjoyed the fact that LaMont alludes to her dress as revealing because it has 3/4 sleeves and shows some collarbones. COLLARBONES, PEOPLE!

    Someone cover her up before the we see her elbows!



  11. gunnlino
    August 28, 2008 7:34 am

    Lamont is a tragedy.
    How he keeps his job is beyond comprehension.



  12. MiamiShyner
    August 28, 2008 7:35 am

    Lamont should come on down to Miami for a day or two if he wants to see “flashy”. Although he’d fit right in on South Beach with those nasty green trunks.



  13. Brian
    August 28, 2008 7:48 am

    Lamont covering fashion for any town is like me teaching quantam physics. People would sit in my classes and go, “That’s NOT how that works.” This has to be a joke. It has to be. He has to have photos of someone.



  14. unsatisfied
    August 28, 2008 7:59 am

    I bet that lamont thinks he’d look good in that dress….



  15. unsatisfied
    August 28, 2008 7:59 am

    ….not that there’s anything wrong with that….



  16. Monty
    August 28, 2008 8:08 am

    I’m surprised he’d criticize her at all, given that he clearly leans to the left. Thank you, I’ll be here all week.



  17. Sarah
    August 28, 2008 8:19 am

    @ Monty-

    EWWWWWWWWWWWW



  18. lostinpgh
    August 28, 2008 9:01 am

    Wait he’s supposed to be tan in that pic?

    PG there was no reason to post that pic again. LOL

    I don’t know how he keeps his job with his bad fashion choices himself.



  19. DeutschtownFrau
    August 28, 2008 9:04 am

    Well, I agree with Lamont. He establishes the context up front — relative to other candidates’ wives and First Ladies. She does have the most style — “fresh, modern” — since Jackie O.

    Cindy McCain is a pretty sharp dresser, too, but with her tight blond hairdo, she doesn’t have the breezy quality Michelle has.

    Laura Bush dresses more modestly, like the 60-something she is. (And she hasn’t gotten any attention for how lovely she is, of course. Never will. Probably doesn’t care.)



  20. ark
    August 28, 2008 9:07 am

    I’m assuming that in this particular picture of Michelle Obama, LaMont thinks she’s flashy because of the color? In that case, he actually IS an idiot. Why can’t M.O. wear bright blue if Hillary can wear a bright orange pantsuit for her speech??

    LaMont is awful. And given the uh….meet and greet we’ve all had with his crotch via this picture, I wouldn’t trust him to judge any fashion.



  21. Nel
    August 28, 2008 9:51 am

    First look at picture of Michelle Obama.
    Now look at picture of Lamont.
    Who would you trust when you are in a fitting room and ask “How does this look?”
    Enough said.
    As I’ve said before, who hired this man? And where is Barbara Cloud when you need her?



  22. Summer
    August 28, 2008 9:57 am

    What I loved was Lamont hating on Michelle’s “pointy eyebrows” and suggesting that she have them trimmed.

    Woman lives in a million-dollar house, Lamont. If she doesn’t already have her eyebrows done by a professional, I’d be surprised.



  23. Sooska
    August 28, 2008 10:16 am

    Let’s all face it. Lamont wants to BE Michelle Obama. He is jealous of her. He’d have his parts cut off to be her. just saying. He’s quite the little bitch isn’t he?



  24. maxtalbot
    August 28, 2008 10:23 am

    How shall I put this delicately other than to suggest that the Post-Gazette not hire any more blind people to write about fashion.



  25. deebee
    August 28, 2008 10:27 am

    I wish I could be almost six foot tall in heels.



  26. Dan (Not Onarato)
    August 28, 2008 11:00 am

    @ deebee

    so does Lamont



  27. expghgirl
    August 28, 2008 11:19 am

    I just realized that his lime green swimsuit is the bottom that matches that chic’s bikini top…where have I been?
    In what world are you like
    {chic} “Honey wanna go to the beach?”
    {fashion challenged guy} “I forgot my swim trunks, I can’t”
    {chic} “Oh, here, just wear mine and I’ll wear a pair of plaid shorts that don’t match at all…besides you look sooo much hotter in plum smugglers!”
    skip skip to the beach!



  28. chrys
    August 28, 2008 11:28 am

    Lamont has his job because this is Pittsburgh… Someone is thinking, “Oh, a gay black man.. he must know style!!!” So not the case here. He is a tragic mess.

    LOL!!!! Monty.. loves it!



  29. Amber
    August 28, 2008 11:44 am

    I look at that picture of Michelle Obama and think of Harrison Ford’s quote from Working Girl, “You’re the first woman I’ve seen at one of these things that dresses like a woman, not like a woman thinks a man would dress if he was a woman.”



  30. lovesthenorthside
    August 28, 2008 12:15 pm

    says lamont: “…the drape appeared to follow the curve of her buttocks rather than dropping at the curve — a surprisingly unfortunate feature to an otherwise tasteful look.”

    oh, and lamont, should we consider that green number you were sporting a “surprisingly unfortunate feature to an otherwise tasteful look?” which would be your naked body?



  31. Good Chad
    August 28, 2008 12:19 pm

    It is not the color of her dress the angers me most.

    Good Chad



  32. Zsa
    August 28, 2008 12:45 pm

    “Powerful,” “aggressive” – does anyone else think that LaMont is simply scared of women, period?

    I mean that looks like a comfy eat more drink more dress to me.



  33. LaReina
    August 28, 2008 5:08 pm

    Michelle’s dress was fugly. Please, honey, at least hide the bra strap!



  34. Ms. Caroline
    August 28, 2008 6:25 pm

    Ouch! What was that? Oh, it was LaMont’s flame…



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