Random n’at.

1.  PittGirl must call to reserve a hotel room for a trip.

Phone at Super Smarmy Hotel: Bzzz.  Bzzzz.

Reservation Agent: [speaking very slowly]  Hello.  Thank you for calling the Super Smarmy Hotel in Not as Good as Pittsburgh, Ohio.  May I inquire, please, as to who I have the wonderful privilege of speaking this fine morning?

PittGirl: This is PittGirl.

Reservation Agent: Okay, PittGirl.  It is so great to be speaking with you today. And may I also have the wonderful privilege of inquiring as to what will bring you our valued guest to Not as Good as Pittsburgh, Ohio?

PittGirl: Uh.   Business?

Reservation Agent: Wonderful.  And may I also have the great privilege of inquiring as to how many nights you will be an esteemed guest with Super Smarmy Hotel in Not as Good as Pittsburgh, Ohio?

PittGirl: [Enormous, long, weary, drawn out, audible sigh]

I think she got the hint, because she really picked up the pace after that.  I enjoy manners, but good God, I don’t have time for these kind of pleasantries with a person I never plan to meet.  Bam, bam, bam, bam, here’s your confirmation number. That’s all I want.

2.  Some killer CraigsList What The Effies for you:

  • Kevin James, of King of Queens fame, is looking for a date.
  • He doesn’t just want big boobs, he likes them “pendulous” and “disproportionately large.”
  • Ooooh.  Shoulder blades!  No, really.  Shoulder blades.
  • Skippy Skeeve!  Is that you?! (NSFW so click real fast then hit the back button.  Ready, set?  GO!)  Totally Skippy Skeeve.  I’d do a side by side, but I don’t much feel like puking up my Pumpkin Spice coffee.
  • Submitted for your consideration without comment.
  • Fifty-something-year-olds should not be allowed to type the words “naked Twister”.
  • OMG. First, she has herpes, which, you know, it happens.  But she’s very careful to point out that she doesn’t have herpes by choice, just to distinguish herself from those people out there that are just begging for some herpes. Then, she writes, “I have a nice deep-” You know what?  Just go read it.  (NSFW)

3.  I would like to apologize that this seems to be “Gross Naked People Day” on The Burgh Blog.

4.  Speaking of Skippy Skeeve, I do want to draw attention to the fact that he is a spokesman for a great cause.  You can hear his radio commercial here.

(h/t Steve)

5.  Because I give credit where credit is due, Benny said a funny thing:

“If I get too big-headed, I get in motorcycle accidents,” Roethlisberger cracked yesterday when the praise stacked high.

HAH!  Oh, Benny, you made a funny.  Call me.

6.  Someone over there at the PG might want to learn how to spell our quarterback’s name:

Although last weekend while Ta-Ta The Grand Poobah, Pens Fan and I were on our way to purchase a Steelers backpack and lunchbox for Ta-Ta’s son J, who she has obediently raised as a die-hard Pittsburgh sports fan, Ta-Ta herself did call Benny “Ben Roethlisberg.”

I was all, “That’s not his name.”

And Ta-Ta was like, “Wait.  What’s his name, then?”

And Pens Fan and I were all, “The DUKE OF FUG AND THE EARL OF GROSS!”





14 Comments

  1. chrys
    September 4, 2008 10:36 am

    “DOF” is every woman’s dream come true… LOL!
    I love the penis on the head.. I wonder if it’s still there and this is why he goes by DOF?



  2. Brian
    September 4, 2008 11:31 am

    Currently, I have one eyebrow. But it’s not by choice. Lovely.



  3. Summer
    September 4, 2008 11:36 am

    Does this guy really think that anyone willing to be seen in public with someone with a giant penis on the side of his head is worried about a missing eyebrow?



  4. Amazon woman
    September 4, 2008 12:51 pm

    Now I feel morally obligated to post this site for those with too much creative engery:

    http://www.tamponcrafts.com/angel.html



  5. toni
    September 4, 2008 12:54 pm

    Um…you guys don’t think DOF is a REAL ad, do you? Dude got wasted, dudes friends shaved his head and 1 eye brow, drew the penis on his head with magic marker then took that pic with all the crazy stuff piled around his and finally posted it on Craig’s list. ASKING for plump girls which I bet DOF would run like crazy from.

    Nope.

    This is just DOF’s bud’s being…idiots.



  6. kups
    September 4, 2008 1:11 pm

    Does PittGirl regularly cruises Craigslist personals? Hmmm…



  7. Magnus Patris
    September 4, 2008 3:00 pm

    Oh my God! My eyes, my eyes! The last two posts have contained images that have cause permanent damage to me, but not by choice.



  8. toni
    September 4, 2008 3:16 pm

    7.Magnus Patris said …

    “Oh my God! My eyes, my eyes! The last two posts have contained images that have cause permanent damage to me, but not by choice.”

    Oh Hush and lie still while I shave your head and get my magic markers ready……



  9. Christina
    September 4, 2008 3:21 pm

    I can’t believe that I read about a lady’s deep v*gina on my computer at work. I can’t believe a lady wrote a post about how big of a p*nis should ideally fit into her deep v*gina.

    I am so delicate and female and my fragile soul is so deeply affected that I believe I now have the vapors.



  10. unsatisfied
    September 4, 2008 4:47 pm

    #5 — for the last entry, I think she’d do well to get one of those crocheted tampons — XL-size.



  11. Maria
    September 4, 2008 6:20 pm

    Speaking of Skippy Skeeve, I was at the Pitt football game last Saturday and after Pitt got a touchdown they showed Reed and a couple other Steelers doing “the wave” on the Jumbotron. My first thought? “Woah, Skippy Skeeve looks a lot like Pauley Shore.”



  12. Shibori
    September 4, 2008 6:48 pm

    But the Valtrex commercials make life with herpes look like so much fun!



  13. SportyGal85
    September 4, 2008 6:53 pm

    I second kups…what the hell, PG? Are you actually looking for this stuff or what? I mean do you have a Craiglist Google alert or something? Seriously, though, that’s funny but scary s**t nonetheless, especially the chick describing depth and wetness of her vag after saying that she has herpes.



  14. Fifth and Forbes
    September 4, 2008 10:52 pm

    I love the word “smarmy”.