1. PittGirl must call to reserve a hotel room for a trip.
Phone at Super Smarmy Hotel: Bzzz. Bzzzz.
Reservation Agent: [speaking very slowly] Hello. Thank you for calling the Super Smarmy Hotel in Not as Good as Pittsburgh, Ohio. May I inquire, please, as to who I have the wonderful privilege of speaking this fine morning?
PittGirl: This is PittGirl.
Reservation Agent: Okay, PittGirl. It is so great to be speaking with you today. And may I also have the wonderful privilege of inquiring as to what will bring you our valued guest to Not as Good as Pittsburgh, Ohio?
PittGirl: Uh. Business?
Reservation Agent: Wonderful. And may I also have the great privilege of inquiring as to how many nights you will be an esteemed guest with Super Smarmy Hotel in Not as Good as Pittsburgh, Ohio?
PittGirl: [Enormous, long, weary, drawn out, audible sigh]
I think she got the hint, because she really picked up the pace after that. I enjoy manners, but good God, I don’t have time for these kind of pleasantries with a person I never plan to meet. Bam, bam, bam, bam, here’s your confirmation number. That’s all I want.
2. Some killer CraigsList What The Effies for you:
- Kevin James, of King of Queens fame, is looking for a date.
- He doesn’t just want big boobs, he likes them “pendulous” and “disproportionately large.”
- Ooooh. Shoulder blades! No, really. Shoulder blades.
- Skippy Skeeve! Is that you?! (NSFW so click real fast then hit the back button. Ready, set? GO!) Totally Skippy Skeeve. I’d do a side by side, but I don’t much feel like puking up my Pumpkin Spice coffee.
- Submitted for your consideration without comment.
- Fifty-something-year-olds should not be allowed to type the words “naked Twister”.
- OMG. First, she has herpes, which, you know, it happens. But she’s very careful to point out that she doesn’t have herpes by choice, just to distinguish herself from those people out there that are just begging for some herpes. Then, she writes, “I have a nice deep-” You know what? Just go read it. (NSFW)
3. I would like to apologize that this seems to be “Gross Naked People Day” on The Burgh Blog.
4. Speaking of Skippy Skeeve, I do want to draw attention to the fact that he is a spokesman for a great cause. You can hear his radio commercial here.
5. Because I give credit where credit is due, Benny said a funny thing:
“If I get too big-headed, I get in motorcycle accidents,” Roethlisberger cracked yesterday when the praise stacked high.
HAH! Oh, Benny, you made a funny. Call me.
6. Someone over there at the PG might want to learn how to spell our quarterback’s name:
Although last weekend while Ta-Ta The Grand Poobah, Pens Fan and I were on our way to purchase a Steelers backpack and lunchbox for Ta-Ta’s son J, who she has obediently raised as a die-hard Pittsburgh sports fan, Ta-Ta herself did call Benny “Ben Roethlisberg.”
I was all, “That’s not his name.”
And Ta-Ta was like, “Wait. What’s his name, then?”
And Pens Fan and I were all, “The DUKE OF FUG AND THE EARL OF GROSS!”