A sex club called Swingers Palace (NSFW ads) in North Huntingdon is owned by a guy that got a $90 minister’s certificate online, calls himself a reverend, and calls his sex club “a nondenominational adults-only Church of Spiritual Humanities, which serves ‘the People,’ not God.”

Has Swingers Palace, an alleged sex club, been operating out of a residence in North Huntingdon for the past seven years?

That possibility surfaced Tuesday at a hearing of the township zoning board to consider an appeal of the Rev. John Ondrik and his wife, Kim, for a special exception to an ordinance to allow them to operate a church out of a residence at 4500 Turner Valley Road.

“I’m not operating a sex club. Kim and I maintain a low profile. People are just scared of us.”

You can’t join the church unless you’re over 21 and you have to pay a set fee to enter the church each time.

Now, the owners John and Kim claim they are operating a church, and swear they are not operating a sex club, which makes sense because I don’t know about you, but my pastor and his wife totally look like this:

Uh.

Don’t scroll down if you don’t have a strong constitution.

Okay.

Ready?

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Whoa!  You know, I’d make LaMont Jones and The Chartreuse Hip-Huggers my screensaver for life if it meant I never had to see that again.

And when the sermon is over and I go home, I always hop on my pastor’s MySpace to let him know how I thought church was this week:

What?

XOXO is a totally appropriate sentiment for an ordained minister.  I’m always all, “Great sermon, Preach.  XOXO.  Catch ya’ later, babycakes.”

I think what she meant to write was YOUR CHURCH ROCKS!!!!

Yeah, that’s it.

Totally NOT a sex club.  At all:

Category: Weird Burghers | September 4, 2008 | | ShareThis