1. Ta-Ta the Grand Poobah to me: Yeah, I bought a great pair of sunglasses before these ones but I had to return them because the heat from my eyeballs kept fogging them up.
Maybe she should get that checked out.
2. Not only is this site “Douchewatcher” hilarious, but also our very own Skippy Skeeve has a special place in the sidebar! Shall we call him Skippy Skeeve King of Douche? Or maybe Skippy Skeeve Thane of Sluts?
3. The only thing PittGirl will say about this election other than the fact that I am already sick of it all and have taken to turning off the TV or radio when their political commercials come on: Regardless of who wins, we will either have our first multiracial president or our first female vice-president. How can your heart not just swell at that? It truly is a wonderful thing to see.
4. An errant emu led police on a two-hour chase on the PA Turnpike a few days ago:
After two hours of chasing it on the road, trying to corner it in the woods and even attempting a cowboy-style lassoing, troopers finally decided to stun the 4-foot-tall bird with a Taser to stop it rather than shoot it.
DeLuca said it was the only choice left.
“We tried everything to save the bird,” he said.
The bird fell to the ground after the shock. Troopers moved the emu — which was still alive — to the side of the road. That’s where it took its last breath.
First, I would pay good money to watch police try to lasso a sprinting emu.
Second, how long before we hear from PETA on this?
Third, somewhere on Grant Street, Dan Onorato has a great idea for getting rid of the next influx of geese.
Fourth, either “Errant Emu” or “Lasso a Sprinting Emu” would make great band names.
Also, the Trib actually wrote:
Why did the emu try to cross the turnpike? Nobody knows for sure.
6. Michael Ausiello tells it like it is, and it is that my self-united husband David Conrad is HAWT.
Question: Got any scoop on Ghost Whisperer? Please tell me it’s not true that Jim is dying; he’s kind of hot! — Lindsay
Ausiello: I hear you. It’s so sad when someone dies, but it’s even sadder when that person is attractive — as is certainly the case with David Conrad.
“Kind of hot”? Does anyone know where Lindsay lives because I’d like to hunt her down and choke a bitch.
BRIGHTON TOWNSHIP, Pa. — Officers are stepping up patrols in Bradys Run Park after reports that several elderly men are asking for sexual favors from joggers.
“What can you say? I was surprised,” Beaver County Sheriff George David said. “One was 81, one was 80, and the other individual was 74. And that really surprised me, their age.”
“They’re taking their shirts off. One showed his privates,” David said. “They’re trying to get them in the woods and do sexual acts with them.”
But police said they’ve identified the men and told them to stay out of the park.
Gosh. To be old and allowed to do anything the heck you want and just be told to go home and have some cookies or something.
Also? I am guessing Viagra has something to do with this. Their poor wives are probably all, “I can’t take the constant groping anymore! I’m trying to bake a pie here, for goodness sakes! Go to the park and poke around or something will you?”