Random n’at.

1. Ta-Ta the Grand Poobah to me: Yeah, I bought a great pair of sunglasses before these ones but I had to return them because the heat from my eyeballs kept fogging them up.


Maybe she should get that checked out.

2.  Not only is this site “Douchewatcher” hilarious, but also our very own Skippy Skeeve has a special place in the sidebar!  Shall we call him Skippy Skeeve King of Douche?  Or maybe Skippy Skeeve Thane of Sluts?

(h/t Rick)

3.  The only thing PittGirl will say about this election other than the fact that I am already sick of it all and have taken to turning off the TV or radio when their political commercials come on:  Regardless of who wins, we will either have our first multiracial president or our first female vice-president.  How can your heart not just swell at that?  It truly is a wonderful thing to see.

4.  An errant emu led police on a two-hour chase on the PA Turnpike a few days ago:

After two hours of chasing it on the road, trying to corner it in the woods and even attempting a cowboy-style lassoing, troopers finally decided to stun the 4-foot-tall bird with a Taser to stop it rather than shoot it.

DeLuca said it was the only choice left.

“We tried everything to save the bird,” he said.

The bird fell to the ground after the shock. Troopers moved the emu — which was still alive — to the side of the road. That’s where it took its last breath.

First, I would pay good money to watch police try to lasso a sprinting emu.

Second, how long before we hear from PETA on this?

Third, somewhere on Grant Street, Dan Onorato has a great idea for getting rid of the next influx of geese.

Fourth, either “Errant Emu” or “Lasso a Sprinting Emu” would make great band names.

Also, the Trib actually wrote:

Why did the emu try to cross the turnpike? Nobody knows for sure.

6.  Michael Ausiello tells it like it is, and it is that my self-united husband David Conrad is HAWT.

Question: Got any scoop on Ghost Whisperer? Please tell me it’s not true that Jim is dying; he’s kind of hot! — Lindsay
I hear you. It’s so sad when someone dies, but it’s even sadder when that person is attractive — as is certainly the case with David Conrad.

“Kind of hot”?  Does anyone know where Lindsay lives because I’d like to hunt her down and choke a bitch.

7.  Ew!

Officers are stepping up patrols in Bradys Run Park after reports that several elderly men are asking for sexual favors from joggers.

“What can you say? I was surprised,” Beaver County Sheriff George David said. “One was 81, one was 80, and the other individual was 74. And that really surprised me, their age.”

“They’re taking their shirts off. One showed his privates,” David said. “They’re trying to get them in the woods and do sexual acts with them.”

But police said they’ve identified the men and told them to stay out of the park.

Gosh.  To be old and allowed to do anything the heck you want and just be told to go home and have some cookies or something.

Also?  I am guessing Viagra has something to do with this.  Their poor wives are probably all, “I can’t take the constant groping anymore!  I’m trying to bake a pie here, for goodness sakes!  Go to the park and poke around or something will you?”


  1. MiamiShyner
    September 5, 2008 11:12 am

    #2. I seriously thought it said “Douchewater”.

  2. Virginia
    September 5, 2008 11:13 am

    If you want to watch the emu thing-there’s supposed to be video floating around either on youtube or I think they linked to it on the WXDX website.

    Poor Emu

  3. parking chair
    September 5, 2008 1:08 pm

    3. I know you don’t like to talk politics very much, but the idea of Sarah Palin being a 72-year-old heartbeat away from the presidency should not make your heart swell.

    She gave a folksy speech, but this is a woman who thinks creationism should be taught in schools, she thinks a woman who is raped should not be allowed to have an abortion, she is against teaching sex education in schools (and it shows), and she attempted to ban books at the library for what she deemed “inappropriate language” and threatened to fire the librarian if she didn’t comply. Those are just a few of the things people need to know about her before falling in love with the hot hockey mom from small town alaska.

    I was on the fence as to who I am voting for, but she pushed me onto Obama’s side of the fence.

  4. TheJim
    September 5, 2008 1:18 pm

    I totally have the same problem with my sunglasses. Beware the heat of my eyeballs!

  5. PittGirl
    September 5, 2008 1:56 pm

    Hah! I will let her know she is not alone.

  6. gunnlino
    September 5, 2008 2:05 pm

    81 year old private parts, exposed for passers by, Awk.
    I’m not encouraging elder violence but he needs to be slapped smartly and taken home and not allowed out in public.
    And it is a crime , if a woman was offended she should make a report and take the old dude to court.
    Sex clubs and 81 year old flashers, geez what’s our world coming to?

  7. Lyon Advocate
    September 5, 2008 2:09 pm

    Parking Chair,

    Agreed. If you don’t believe in evolution or do endorse abstinence only sex “education” you are too stupid to potentially be president. Disagree with me on actual issues, fine. But let’s have a minimum level of common sense and intelligence from our candidates, ok?

  8. Mr Dobalina, Mr Bob Dobalina
    September 5, 2008 2:18 pm

    There should be a basic science/tehncology exam given to anybody who wants to run for national office.

  9. nel
    September 5, 2008 3:44 pm

    With Sarah Pelin, woman are taking one step forward and twenty steps back.
    She does not, nor will she ever, speak or represent me or my thoughts as a woman, as a mother, and esp. as a mother of a special needs son.
    I didn’t support Hillary, but now I almost wish I had so I could watch her rip this “hockey mom” into shreads.

  10. J
    September 5, 2008 3:59 pm

    nel et al, I TOTALLY agree with you about Palin. She keeps talking (as do the other right wing pundits) about how she made the CHOICE to have her special needs son, and her daughter made the CHOICE to have a baby at 17 but she doesn’t support a woman’s right to choose even in the case of rape or incest. So that 12 year old girl who was in the news recently for being pregnant (can’t remember who repeatedly raped her) would not have had a choice as to what to do with that pregnancy.

    Also, she sued the Bush administration for putting polar bears on the endangered species list, and thinks global warming is NOT affected by human beings. Ugh, there are so many other horrible positions she has I could go on forever but I literally decided not to be a passive voter but to volunteer my little heart out for the OTHER candidates when I heard what she was all about.

  11. Joe
    September 5, 2008 6:34 pm

    Which voters is McCain trying to get by selecting Palin? Let’s suppose Palin was against abortion except in cases of rape and incest. Would those who are pro-choice vote for McCain?

    She was chosen to energize the base. McCain’s job is to get enough independents. The fact that there may be some women who supported Hillary, feel she got screwed over and for whom abortion is not a major issue and will now more likely vote for McCain because of Palin is just the little bonus that McCain may need to get elected.

  12. bucdaddy
    September 5, 2008 10:42 pm

    Can’t wait till I’m 80.

    Oh, wait …

  13. bucdaddy
    September 5, 2008 10:45 pm

    There are more than two people running for president, folks. Write in Bob Barr. The Libs will leave you the hell alone and need all the help they can get.

  14. nel
    September 6, 2008 1:15 am

    Just not talking about the abortion issue. She stands against so many, many issues.
    NRA, teaching creationism in schools, abstinance instead of education(we all know how successful THAT was) She actually tried to ban certain books from her local library.
    She went to 6 different schools in 6 years. No wonder she eloped becuase she didn’t want her parents to pay for a wedding. They spent every dime transfering her from college to college.

    And that’s just for starters!

  15. don
    September 6, 2008 9:26 am

    Palin is a fiscally responsible female with leadership capabilities. Her ability to multitask should not be questioned.

    My view is to vote one’s wallet. If you have a job, pay taxes, support capitalism and believe in individual freedom the choice is simple. Vote McCain/Palin. If you want big brother to take care of you and yours, nobama is your boy.

  16. retiredguy
    September 6, 2008 1:04 pm

    Vote McCain/Palin baby!

    Just say No(bama)

  17. Summer
    September 7, 2008 5:18 pm

    Thane of Sluts — I like that.

    Duke of Fug and Earl of Gross, and his sidekick, the Thane of Sluts. It’s like a whole theme.

  18. Sarah
    September 8, 2008 11:39 am

    #1 – I do know the horrors of eyeball heat fogging up some really sexy glasses.

    #2 – I was always under the assumption that Ryan Seacrest was the King of the Douches