Dear Pat Ford and Alicia Sirk:

Pittsburgh’s Urban Redevelopment Authority settled today with Pat Ford, its former executive director, by agreeing to pay him approximately $90,000 in salary plus benefits to close out his employment contract nearly four months early, forego a potential lawsuit and end what had become a bitter public standoff.

The URA’s payment to end Mr. Ford’s tenure there consists of Mr. Ford’s salary through June 2009, six months longer than his contract to head the agency.

Former press secretary Alecia Sirk also to receive a “settlement”.

Can I give you both a nice long slow deliberate clap?  You did something wrong and you kicked and screamed and held your breath and shouted “I HATE YOU, MR. POOPY PANTS!” until you got what you wanted, and managed in the process to NOT get what you totally deserved.

I mean, really, BRAVO!

I toss dead roses at your nasty Gollum feet.

I had an IM interview with a local publication yesterday, and the interviewer asked me who I can’t stand in the local scene.  I listed the usual suspects (Hiya, Steely!) but I kept having this nagging feeling that I’d forgotten someone.

How remiss of me!

I forgot to say, “And topping that list is Pat Ford and Alicia Sirk, who claim they are persecuted public servants who have the city’s best interests at heart.  Who did unethical and really really dumb things, shady things, and cried and whined about it and used words from the Bible to make it seem like they were being martyred and then they went and asked their friends, friends with city contracts to give them money, and then they took a giant lump of money from the city taxpayers because, you know, they LOVE THE CITY and its people and that’s why I’m sure they threatened to sue the pants off the city.  Instead of just, you know, being decent upstanding people and going to find another job.”

But I forgot to say that.  So you won’t get the shout-out you were meant to get in the interview and for that, I am truly sorry.

So let me shout it out right now.  You are a disgrace to this city and the people.  You are a disgrace to honesty.  You are a disgrace to what it means to be a public servant.  You are both egotistical, unethical, narcissistic thieves and when the karma boomerang hits you upside the head, I hope it circles around again to give it to you twice.

And how lucky are you that you threatened an administration that can be threatened and on which you likely have some compromising information?  Because had this happened in a Choke-A-Bitchocratic administration in which PittGirl was mayor, and your threats landed on my desk, I’d have channeled the Matrix, stretched my arm out, flipped my hand opened, and then beckoned you with bent fingers while breathing, “Bring it.”

You’re the next Annoying Burghers and your crowns are in the mail and by crowns I mean “the door.”  Use it.

PittGirl





40 Comments

  1. Dan (Not Onarato)
    September 11, 2008 3:59 pm

    I bow in your greatness…

    Im officially your minion



  2. spoon
    September 11, 2008 4:33 pm

    All hail PG!

    Let me guess, Danny O needs the drink tax to help cover that mismanagement also. Even if he’s not involved, he’ll find a way. There’s plenty of extra money to go around.



  3. Jagoff
    September 11, 2008 4:55 pm

    I’m voting straight Choke-A-Bitchocrat in November



  4. windy city steel city
    September 11, 2008 4:55 pm

    Strike up the orchestra and reward PittGirl with a Law and Order inpspired “dunh-dunh”



  5. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    September 11, 2008 5:03 pm

    This is just one of the many, many, many, many reasons why you are Mayor of the Choke-a-bitchocrat nation! BRAVO, PittGirl, BRAVO!!!!!



  6. Bram R
    September 11, 2008 5:40 pm

    [claps swiftly and spontaneously, throws roses]



  7. Bill H
    September 11, 2008 5:40 pm

    I think this is what you meant, windy city steel city
    http://blog.rickbreslin.com/extras/doink_doink.wav



  8. PittCheMBA
    September 11, 2008 5:55 pm

    Have you seen pics of Ford and Sirk? Which one is balder?



  9. not you
    September 11, 2008 6:03 pm

    Really…PittCheMBA? Really? With all the things in this situation to legitimately snark and gripe about you go for the cheap shot?



  10. merman
    September 11, 2008 6:07 pm

    Let us face it, Pat Ford knows and has notes about every skeleton in Luke’s closet: the bribes from businesses, kickbacks from contractors and late-night shenanigans.

    Pat Ford knows where Luke Ravenstahl really slept when he went to NYC with Burkle.

    Therefore, the taxpayers have to pay Ford and his wife $200,000 plus to keep their mouths shut.

    Luke Ravenstahl should resign, and the fact that the docile Pittsburgh media let Luke get away with this corruption is both depressing and disgusting.



  11. Joe
    September 11, 2008 6:12 pm

    Government officials taking bribes?? I am shocked!!!!!! I am sure that this is the first time in recorded history that this has occurred.

    They all do it. It does not make it right. It just is. Ford and Sirk just happened to get caught. Hence, the payoff.



  12. gunnlino
    September 11, 2008 7:30 pm

    Damn bitch, you go, hammer them clowns.
    Really if they had any testiculos they would name names and dates, but you and everyone else knows they won’t, that’s the real shame of the whole deal. They get the money and keep silent and shortly you will see them again in a position of power and influence.



  13. mrs pitsberger
    September 11, 2008 7:41 pm

    That was absolutely brilliant, PG.



  14. Xena
    September 11, 2008 8:38 pm

    Damn, PittGirl, you can write. And I am ready to register for the Choke-A-Bitchocrat party.

    Now let’s get busy, find another bunch of “egotistical, unethical, narcissistic thieves” stinking up our city, and bring them to you to slap around.



  15. Angie :-)
    September 11, 2008 11:37 pm

    I could not have ranted it better myself. That’s church PittGirl



  16. john
    September 12, 2008 7:24 am

    Hopefully Rob can do better with Pittsburgh than East Liberty



  17. Summer
    September 12, 2008 7:36 am

    Where can I get a job where I can act like an unethical twit and screw things up, then be offered a big fat payoff to go away and keep my mouth shut instead of being deservedly booted to the curb?



  18. ultraviolet
    September 12, 2008 7:53 am

    I think he did a fairly decent job with E. Liberty. Were you ever there before all the new stuff? Granted some residents feel left out and that is something that should be work on. However, locally run places like the Shadow Lounge that has been around for what, 10 years now, started the ball rolling before Whole Foods.

    Anyway, this screams “silence money”. Ravenstahl says, “to avoid costly litigation”? wow thanks for looking out for us. like Shields said, now we’ll never know.

    I wish the suburbanites who LOVE to bitch about the mismanagement of the city would move to the city and VOTE! or maybe i should be careful what i wish for…



  19. DW
    September 12, 2008 8:03 am

    I agree with mrs pitsberger, a brilliant entry.

    ‘Nuff said.



  20. maxtalbot
    September 12, 2008 8:46 am

    Brava, PittGirl! Brava!



  21. Brian
    September 12, 2008 8:56 am

    This is why, as much as the GOP pres. admin. has fucked this country into near submission, I certainly don’t rubber stamp the Dems. There are crooks, criminals, thieves, and charlatans in every party, and your party certainly doesn’t absolve you of utter stupidity, egotism, and greed. May they all burn.

    I hope something gets stuck in Alecia’s DVD player tonight.



  22. bucdaddy
    September 12, 2008 9:19 am

    Wow. You gotta be seriously pissed to sign a post on your own blog. I’m impressed … and kind of … turned on …



  23. Chelly
    September 12, 2008 9:26 am

    To Ultraviolet’s statement – I guess then this means that the people that live in urban areas will stop bitching about how the rest of the country votes?



  24. Lump
    September 12, 2008 10:24 am

    Also @ Ultraviolet: Um, we lived in the city until last year. The mismanagement of the city, the schools, and the police, not to mention the high wage tax we paid so that “non-profit” UPMC and Pitt could continue to buy real estate and exorcise its property-tax burden, finally drove us to the ‘burbs.

    I no longer bitch about the mismanagement of the city. It ain’t my problem anymore, and I’ll be long dead before any meaningful city/county consolidation occurs.



  25. Erin
    September 12, 2008 10:55 am

    Amen, PG, and nicely worded. So who DID you list, besides Steely?



  26. lovesthenorthside
    September 12, 2008 12:43 pm

    concerning lump’s comments:

    not to pick a fight or anything, but if you live in the suburbs and work in the city (don’t know if you do or not), aren’t you kinda like upmc — a parasite –because you create trash, you may use our police and emergency services, and the myriad other services provided by the city of pittsburgh including paved roads, with the benefit of not really paying your taxes? i’m not an expert on this, and maybe you think your $52.00 occupancy tax or a parking tax or the amusement tax covers you, but it really does not. i mean, to each his own, as i would rather live in the city than anywhere else and so i choose to and i’m not commenting on your decision to leave, but don’t be so self-congratulatory.



  27. Chris
    September 12, 2008 1:15 pm

    lovesthenorthside,

    my working in the city makes it possible for you to live in one of the most crime ridden, economically depressed areas in allegheny county. i’m glad that you are happy with your decision, better you than me.



  28. Pingback: Progress Pittsburgh

  29. rocks
    September 12, 2008 1:47 pm

    27.Chris said …

    lovesthenorthside,

    my working in the city makes it possible for you to live in one of the most crime ridden, economically depressed areas in allegheny county.

    care to break down the math on that “Chris?” (how suburbanites are paying for the city)

    i think you should try if you really do believe that statement. cause there’s no way in hell anyone could make that argument using actual economics. kthx.



  30. TK
    September 12, 2008 1:50 pm

    To lovesthenorthside:

    With BPT, ET, EM, and Parking Taxes, not to mention sales taxes that fund mostly city sites regardless of whether I purchased anything within or outside the city limits, my employment contributed over $1,000 to the city’s coffers. To you that may be chump change that does not give me the right to complain. To me, it gives me the right to bitch as much as I want.



  31. Dave
    September 12, 2008 1:54 pm

    Amen! I’d like to take a fat big crap on Pat Ford’s shiny bald head.



  32. unsatisfied
    September 12, 2008 2:00 pm

    hey, did anyone notice that the smoking ban went into effect yesterday?

    woohoo!



  33. Chris
    September 12, 2008 2:13 pm

    Sure thing. As already mentioned, I pay the $52 tax, parking taxes (or bus fees depending on the day), I buy breakfast and lunch all of which come with local taxes. I buy things at the drug store accross from my office. I buy clothing at Macy’s, Joe Banks and Brooks Brothers. I have drinks at different pubs after work. I take clients and recruits to lunches and dinners at Morton’s, Capital Grill and McCormick and Schmick’s. I belong to a gym with monthly dues. All told, I personally spend thousands of dollars annually for the privilege of working downtown. Virtually every dollar that I spend is taxed by the city of Pittsburgh.

    Oh, and my company employs two people who work directly and solely for me, so I should probably count all of their taxes as well.

    Bottom line, if you want a Pittsburgh just for true city residents, you could never have it. Suburbanites are the only reason why downtown Pittsburgh is viable and if we all took a reverse commute to Cranberry, Southpointe and Monroeville next month, the city would be a ghost town by the end of the year. Instead it’s just a ghost town on the weekends. Hope this helps.



  34. lovesthenorthside
    September 12, 2008 2:15 pm

    tk,

    no one said anything about your right to bitch. knock yourself out. i am flattered, however, that you think $1,000 is chump change to me, considering i live in the city and all.

    chris,

    maybe your commute is making you cranky; better you than me. i was going to say that maybe you should thank me for living here so you could have a city to work in, but whatev. so thank you for my 10-minute commute, thank you for riverview park and frick park, thank you for my economically diverse neighbors. i am very happy with my decision, thank you very much.



  35. Chris
    September 12, 2008 2:39 pm

    lovesthenorthside,

    please see my post above. without suburbanites working downtown you would be living in Youngstown or Wilkinsburg with a nicer view.

    yours

    parasite chris



  36. TK
    September 12, 2008 3:34 pm

    From Post #26

    “if you live in the suburbs and work in the city (don’t know if you do or not), aren’t you kinda like upmc — a parasite.”

    That quote, especially calling suburbanites parasites, prompted my response.

    When someone pays a large sum of money into a tax system in which they have no representation, sees the money consistently spent either unwisely or to promote graft and then be called a parasite, that’s going to elicit an unfavorable response.

    To act all innocent, as if you did not know what the response to the above quote, is being intellectually dishonest.



  37. bucdaddy
    September 12, 2008 4:41 pm

    On the plus side, wonder if I can get invited to the party at Lish’s place …



  38. Xena
    September 13, 2008 1:26 am

    I lived in the city for a long time; we recently moved to the suburbs to be close to my work–saving time and gas. We happily paid wage and property taxes to the city and the Pittsburgh schools. Now I pay the $65 occupation tax to the suburban community that houses my non-profit employer, and I am happy to pay that, too, for police and fire and all that goes with being a community. I am also happy to pay the fees and taxes that support the first-class cultural amenities in the city.

    None of us live in a fortress. We leave our homes and venture out to the city for cultural events, the zoo, and major league sports but to the suburbs for big box stores and malls. We go to Oakland to attend Pitt or CMU or the suburbs to attend Robert Morris or La Roche. We see a primary care physician in one community, a dentist in another, and head to Oakland or Bloomfield or the North Side for specialized care.

    Nothing comes free. A healthy and viable Pittsburgh core benefits all of us. Crooks like Ford and Sarkis hurt the city and all the rest of us who depend on Pittsburgh for much of what makes this region special.



  39. Fan on his own dime
    September 13, 2008 7:31 am

    Aren’t these “settlements” sorta like what Kwame Kilpatrick did? How did it work out for him?



  40. ultraviolet
    September 14, 2008 1:45 pm

    xena said: “A healthy and viable Pittsburgh core benefits all of us”
    exactly. there is nothing wrong with living in the suburbs. there is nothing wrong with living in the city. pros & cons for both. i supposed what i meant was, if ppl would stay, attempt to help make changes maybe the city govn’t would be such a mess?
    And to Chris, there’s SO much more to the city than downtown! did you know there are 90something neighborhoods?
    and, if you’ve ever spent any time downtown other than happy hour, you would see its not a ghost town. all those establishments that you frequent? open on weekends. there are churches, theaters, stores, places to live, colleges, etc all downtown, even more in nearby neighborhoods. suburban residents contribute to the vitality, but are NOT the sole support system.
    i think perhaps my statement was misguided…the real issue probably lies with the fact ppl keep moving to NC, FL, AZ, etc for “better opportunity”.
    one thing i guess we can all agree on….GO STEELERS! lol