1. Windy!
2. Today is a great day here in the Burgh because it looks like fall. I can’t explain it; you have to see it. Maybe it’s the way the clouds are shaped, stacked high, haphazardly. A ribbon of light on the horizon. Or their odd colors with the grey meshing with the purple contrasting against the spots of blue poking through. Maybe it’s the crisp outlines of their edges. All I know is it’s gorgeous and it’s very fall-y. And windy.
3. Speaking of windy … as she lives in Texas, in a non-evacuation area, but still close enough to get some damage, Tina Fey was sure to keep us all updated as Ike roared overhead her palace in Texas:
First email:
In an effort to keep you all updated on Ike as it slams into our house, I decided to email a running journal of our day. I’ll update periodically so that you all don’t have to worry…unless you don’t hear from me for a while, which could mean one of several things: One, I have no power and can’t get online. Two, my windows were blown out by the wind and I’ve been struck by shards of glass and am no longer able to email. Three, Ike has spun off a tornado that has sucked me up like lint on a carpet, and, therefore, I’m no longer at the computer. We’re all going to write our social security numbers on our arms so that we can be identified should we be deposited miles from our home.
Local time: 11:06 a.m.
Weather conditions: Windy with light, sideways rain. However, no debris is seen yet and it appears that our outdoor furniture is still, in fact, outdoor furniture and has not yet been turned into flying implements of death.
Second email:
Time: 12:31
Weather Update: In some sort of strange phenomenon, the rain in the front of the house is raining sideways still, while the rain in the backyard is now straight up and down. Not quite sure what that might be from. Oh wait, there it goes sideways in the backyard again. Nope, it’s straight up and down again. You think I’m kidding but I’m not. It’s changing directions constantly. The wind has picked up quite a bit. And judging from the weather channel that we’re watching, the worst is yet to come.
Have started receiving phone calls from relatives I haven’t spoken to in years.
Then, nothing. So Pens Fan sent out this:
Tina Fey, did you blow away? Maybe the twister will take you to Pittsburgh. Hope all is ok.
Finally, we heard from her:
Okay. So we’re still alive. Shortly after my last message to you yesterday we lost electricity and we just got it back at about 2:30ish in the morning. So all in all, we totally kicked Hurricane Ike’s ass…or I should say, Hurricane Ike totally didn’t kick our ass. We actually sat out on our back porch yesterday afternoon and watched the wind. We had friends from the neighborhood over and played spoons and then opened every freaking window in the house so that we wouldn’t roast to death. Sleeping sucked because even with the windows open it was, well, moist. We all smell like towels that have been sitting in the washing machine a little too long. It’s lovely, really.
So anyways, Burghers, Tina Fey is okay. Repeat, she is fine. You can rest easy now because I know how concerned you were for my family members that you’ve never met before.
4. “What They’re Really Thinking” will probably not get posted until later today. You’ll be fine.
5. Dear you gazillions of boys that land here searching for “Sonni Abatta boyfriend”, yes, of course she has a boyfriend; she’s really really hot. And here you go. Sonni Abatta brought her Penguin boyfriend (wait, is he still on the team?) Kris Beech out for the Savor Pittsburgh event.
Twenty bucks says she dressed him. He looks awesome and I NEVER think Kris Beech looks awesome. The power of a girlfriend with style.
5. Seeing as she has been with Kris for quite a long time, this does not bode well for my hope that Sonni would one day end up with Jim Lokay. Bum-mer.
6. Attorney David Shrager has sent his minions out in force to defend the fact that he wears his hair like Skippy Skeeve (I’ve also heard he has tattoos all up and down his arms, but that is neither here nor there. What the hell does that phrase mean?) and to say he’s a kickass defense lawyer. That might be the case. But his hair is still ridiculous.
This can’t be denied.
7. “Little Hemorrhoid” has also unleashed her minions, including her boyfriend. And again, I have to wonder. Do these people actually know what a hemorrhoid is and why it is so very yucky to put that word next to a picture of cherries?
8. I’m being bitchy today, aren’t I? I apologize. Feel free to choke me when you see me next.
9. How great is it to behold the power of the blog? We have questions about people (hiya, Menstrual Mom, David Shrager, and Little Hemorrhoid) and they give us answers directly. As I Plurked, my new tagline should be “The Burgh Blog: Getting to the Bottom of Shit since 2005.”
10. And finally, The Buccos of Suckitude … Ah, who gives a damn?
