Random n’at

1.  Don’t tell Ta-Ta the Grand Poobah, but I’m totally buying her this for Christmas.

And then I’m going to make her buy me this one:

(h/t  Ken and Mrs. Pitsberger)

2.  Some What The Effies for you to use to make yourself feel better about you:

  • I’ve mentioned before how much the photo-from-above Craigslist ads drive me crazy/make me dizzy and how I don’t understand them.  I mean what is that?  Hey, here’s what you would see if I ever bent over really really far?  Here’s an example of one.   And here’s a great example of proof that the photo-from-above can be VERY deceiving.
  • Phat beats.
  • First, what does it mean to want a woman to be “deep in her spirit and soul”?  I mean, dude, really.  Define that with words because it sounds like a Paula Abdul American Idol performance critique:  “I look at you up there singing, and you are so deep in your spirit and your soul.”   Also, those photos.  One of these things is not like other.  One of these things doesn’t belong.
  • Is that guy wearing a skirt?  A skirt that is not a kilt?  Sex-ay!
  • Here’s a phrase you don’t expect to precede the phrase “anything within reason”:  “put me on a leash or sit on my face.”  Well, that sounds reasonable.  Can I also fly you from the flagpole at dawn?  Would that be reasonable to you?
  • I am SO tempted to answer this ad, show up, and beat the shit out of him with a can of spray paint.
  • Man, when did Webster go and redefine “gym addict body.”  These times.  I can’t keep up with them.

3.  Troysus is going to be a dad and I just now found out.  I am totally slacking off and I plan to have a talk with me about it.  I might even slap myself.

Q: I know you don’t watch a lot of football, but did you watch this past Monday Night game?

A: No. Saw the score, saw the film, heard the breakdown. But there’s a lot of emotion taken out when you can’t hear the crowd or the announcers.

Q: What did you do instead?

A: My wife is pregnant, so I was just running to the refrigerator and back, or something like that.

(h/t NYLuvsPitt)

4.  That eBay auction to win the chance to have Greg Lloyd come to your house and eat your food and watch football with you?  Sold for $7,000.

WHY?!

He’s no Jeremy Bloom, I tell you that.

5.  This photo was snapped by reader Sara in McKees Rocks.

Boy.  There’s gaudy and then there’s GAWD-Y!

That’s gawd-y.

Is that yours, Asshat?

Someone go get to the bottom of that shit.

6.  DRINK!

He said the URA would have had to pay Mr. Ford through the end of the year under the terms of his employment contract, and adding another six months of compensation “was a relatively small amount of money in comparison to what the legal costs potentially could have been. And in addition, it allowed us to put this employment issue behind us, allow us to move forward at the URA.”

Do you wonder?  Has Luke ever said “move forward” to the press and then done one of those d’oh! faces as he realizes what he just said?  Gosh.  I hope so.





36 Comments

  1. Jen
    September 19, 2008 1:46 pm

    Why does nobody on Craigslist use punctuation? Did I miss when that went out of style or something? Makes me feel old and out of touch with today’s youth.



  2. Alison
    September 19, 2008 1:48 pm

    love the christmas presents. love love love.
    also love that troy is gonna be a daddy. i didnt know that either, but the amount of cuteness that entails (itty bitty baby being held by troy) makes me nearly cry.
    i’m such a sucker.



  3. kbl guy
    September 19, 2008 2:06 pm

    Wow, that girl in the rite-aid jacket photo from above,…very deceiving!
    Being that it’s Friday, I’m glad you ended with “DRINK”.



  4. minutes from the mall
    September 19, 2008 2:11 pm

    $7,000 to watch football with Greg Lloyd? how much to go pigeon-stomping with PittGirl?
    To preserve her anonymity, she would be wearing one of those V for Vendetta masks, but her hotness would still shine through.
    I’ll start the bidding at $350.



  5. Magnus Patris
    September 19, 2008 2:27 pm

    Do people not have friends to take a picture for them? Especially if it’s supposed to be your “glamor” shot. Also, a cell phone is NOT a camera (forgive me Saucy, but you know what I mean). A digital camera is like $40 at Sam’s Club.



  6. pittgirl
    September 19, 2008 2:30 pm

    Magnus,

    Saucy just said, “Oh, no he di’int!”

    Watch your back, yo.



  7. SRUAsh
    September 19, 2008 2:32 pm

    is it just me or did they spell safety wrong on the page with the Polamalu?



  8. SRUAsh
    September 19, 2008 2:33 pm

    oops didn’t finish… article. Here i am asking about typos and this is what happens…



  9. Pinto Alegre
    September 19, 2008 2:33 pm

    PG — That one guy is wearing a kilt. He’s got a sporran on the front (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sporran).



  10. Matt H
    September 19, 2008 2:37 pm

    About 2 years ago I answered a CL ad for the guy selling that GUCCI themed truck. I went down and checked it out and it was just in awful condition.



  11. uncalled for
    September 19, 2008 2:42 pm

    not Gucci. Louis Vuitton.



  12. Papaya Jerry
    September 19, 2008 2:49 pm

    Attention Craigslist users (which kinda sounds like “Attention K-Mart shoppers,” hmmm):

    – Do not write your own ad copy. There’s a good reason you don’t work on Madison Avenue. Get somebody who earned an “A” on a high-school term paper to write it for you. No dissertations. At least the “we had sex and the condom broke and did you get your period yet and by the way I’m HIV+ after all” posting a few weeks ago was to the point.

    – If you are in fact bulbous, do not include a picture. At. All. I gotta admit Rite-Aid Girl had me hella-fooled with those first two Pix From Above; I have to give her some props for including the last photo. I’d advise you instead to use the word “Rubenesque” or somesuch in your ad, but oops, I already told you not to write your own copy.

    – Say I were (shudder) interested in Chiquina #1, and my 26th birthday was just last week. Am I still out of the running, O Ms. Choosy Ho-Bags Choose Craigslist? Do you keep a calendar like the ones in minimarts that say “You must have been born before SEPTEMBER 19, 1990 to purchase cigarettes”?, except yours says “You must have been born before SEPTEMBER 19, 1990 but no later than SEPTEMBER 18, 1985 to have a crack at my me-and-my-vag package,” and the page changes daily?

    I could go on, but I’m afraid I wouldn’t stop.

    Plea to PG: Please repost Craigslist listings less often. I cannot help but look away, and I always feel so oogy afterwards.



  13. Monty
    September 19, 2008 2:54 pm

    Dowdy Roddy Piper.



  14. Joey
    September 19, 2008 3:12 pm

    irony: That every chick on CL is not looking for a relationship with “drama.” Ummm…OK, then.

    I was all for #1, until she said that we couldn’t discuss sexual positions on the first date…that, and I’m over 25….

    I’d still love to hear about an actual relationship that started on CL.



  15. Papaya Jerry
    September 19, 2008 3:17 pm

    Um, okay, first: “I cannot help but look,” not “help but look away.”

    Second, I gotta hand it to a guy who can pull off a kilt. I’ve considered asking Santa for a Utilikilt: http://www.thinkgeek.com/apparel/hoodies/9be6/. I’d look like a moron, but that’s not really anything new for me. My only consolation is that, no matter how crappily I dress, I still look better than LaMont.

    Oh god I hope I haven’t given LaMont any ideas. LaMont, if you’re reading this, you are NEVER NEVER NEVER to feature a kilt of ANY sort in your column. With our luck you’d find a chartreuse one to model personally.

    PG, if you showed up at dog-leash-boy’s place and spraypainted him, you’d have to take out a restraining order against him within six hours. He’d be after you like Lukey after Pat Ford’s secret diary–you know, the pretty pink one with the bow and the little lock on the side.



  16. John
    September 19, 2008 4:16 pm

    Holy crap! I live in the Rocks, and that truck pic was snapped in the Rox Bottoms. I’ll have to be on the lookout for it. And gawdy doesn’t begin to describe it.



  17. gumbygirl
    September 19, 2008 4:32 pm

    Mr. Phat.
    Condemned or comport? Try English next time.



  18. chrys
    September 19, 2008 4:47 pm

    Papaya Jerry.. thank you for the laugh.. I may never stop. :)



  19. Amber
    September 19, 2008 5:06 pm

    As far as Troy going to be a daddy, I don’t know whether to be happy or sad. I agree with you pittgirl, I will have to have a talk with myself. I really truly don’t know what to say. I mean I expected him to have a kid soon, but I didn’t have time to prepare myself for this. It makes me want to cry (tears of joy and disappointment).



  20. Tony
    September 19, 2008 6:38 pm

    I can’t believe there’s no love for Save the Tatas… I saw that bumper sticker a month or two ago here in Baltimore, and thought it was a hoot. And a great idea. Definitely get one for your Tata Sister.



  21. Tony
    September 19, 2008 6:41 pm

    And another thing… what’s with all the young girls taking picture of themselves making that pouty fishface? I have nieces that do that and I always think, “Who told you that making that face is in any way alluring?” Makes you look like you’re trying to find your way out of the bowl.



  22. scottie
    September 19, 2008 6:56 pm

    I think “deep in her spirit and soul” means that she’s too spacy to figure out that he’s a foul-assed dork who probably has B.O. that would stop a skunk dead in its tracks.



  23. mudbugs
    September 19, 2008 7:20 pm

    Tony hit it right on. They look like goldfish.



  24. bucdaddy
    September 19, 2008 8:05 pm

    They watch too much porn.



  25. King Ralph
    September 19, 2008 8:16 pm

    Bucdaddy, please explain this alien concept of “too much porn.” Thanks.



  26. Dennis Roddy
    September 19, 2008 9:54 pm

    The guy in the skirt arrangement is wearing something called a Utili-Kilt. They were very popular among freethinking tech-minded guys in the Seattle area, or so I was advised by a colleague who had worked in Seattle and clearly got the hell out just in time.

    I have seen one in Pittsburgh. I was at a party a few years back where we were all enjoying a lecture on various arrangements of Handel’s “Messiah,” and I got into an argument with some guy in a Utili-Kilt. I was tempted to challenge him to a fist fight but it occurred to me that he was younger, trimmer and I would be known at work as the guy who got beaten up by some other guy wearing a skirt at a Handel’s Messiah party.

    These kinds of fashion dilemmas simply prove that I’ve lived too long. One is also stuck with the image of, say, this guy showing up at the home of some date who still lives with her parents and he knocks on the door and the dad answers and, dear God, just let me die here.



  27. Papaya Jerry
    September 20, 2008 7:11 am

    Dennis Roddy: It’s a cultural thing. If your daughter’s prom date showed up at the door wearing slacks instead of his proper plaid and sporran, you’d probably snatch your claymore from the wall and cleave his head in twain.

    Never been to Seattle, but my wife & I saw a guy in DC wearing one. He was a barista at a Caribou Coffee (the moosey, woodsy, Sarah Palin version of Starbucks). He pulled it off *really* well. He was stocky and bearded, which probably had something to do with it. This wasn’t a guy you’d pick a fight with if he a Patriots tattoo across his forehead, let alone for wearing a kilt.



  28. Pittsburgh Tom (in NJ)
    September 20, 2008 8:47 pm

    I always loved the “Save the tatas” shirts. Saw it for the first time while at a charity breakfast raising money for Breast Cancer research. Some of the women from the charity were wearing them, but they had none for sale.



  29. Dan (Not Onarato)
    September 21, 2008 8:29 am

    wait…is that…in fact…Lamonts truck?



  30. Steeler_tom
    September 21, 2008 2:55 pm

    Yep,
    That’s a Utilikilt
    The black ones with the rivits all over are kinda badass.



  31. LaReina
    September 22, 2008 7:52 am

    I believe “moving forward” is something we all should hope for the contents of our lower intestines, but thanks anyway, Lukey.



  32. Erin
    September 22, 2008 8:06 am

    Papaya Jerry, please post here more often! Ha.

    I admit that “You and your teeth are white and straight” made me chuckle.



  33. blee1
    September 22, 2008 8:39 am

    He’s wearing the ‘suit’ version of the utilikilt. I have the standard black one and to be honest, they are amazingly comfortable.

    I’d wear it around more but I think too many people would be freaked out by it.



  34. Matt H
    September 22, 2008 3:53 pm

    “Louis Vuitton.”

    Thanks. I had that wrong.



  35. Sean
    September 22, 2008 3:55 pm

    Actually, I think that’s an Urban Kilt, not a skirt ;)

    … I went to an interesting college.



  36. Sarah
    September 23, 2008 3:43 pm

    Don’t feel bad not knowing about Daddy Polamalu. I met his wife on Thursday and I was all, whoa you’re really really pregnant.

    How did no one know that?