PittGirl mines Craigslist.

The economy and possibly THE WORLD broke today.  Let’s all cover our ears, pretend it didn’t happen and take some time to make fun of weird Burghers, m’kay?


1.  He wants to find his goth queen. I want to know if he can give me some makeup tips because I can never get my blue eyeliner to QUITE look so perfect.  I’d also like to know what the hell kind of goth/vampire hangs out at coffee shops after a long walk in the cemetery at night?  Don’t they then go and drink goat blood or something?

2.  “Not only am I not a wimp, I’m SO not a wimp that I eat trees for breakfast.  Chuck Norris wishes he ate trees for breakfast.”

3.  Aw.  Not very weird.  Witty humor. I hope he finds someone.

4.  Don’t bust his stitches. No really.  Don’t bust his stitches.

5.  I read this ad and I shivered.  Not a good shiver.  Like a “that guy wants to read me poetry and then probably kill me” shiver.  No idea why.

6.   “Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?” (Google it.)

8.  WHAT?

7.  … and that’s just how I roll, yo.


  1. Miss Lee
    September 29, 2008 10:24 pm

    Take heart, PG – there may be dark times ahead, but we Burghers come from strong stock. Our grandparents weathered the Great Depression, and our parents weathered our own local depression when the mills closed. We need only look at their examples of hard work, thrift, and self-reliance while offering a helping hand to their neighbors… and we’ll find the way back home.

  2. J
    September 29, 2008 10:49 pm

    lalalalalala I don’t hear anything either.

    5. I know why you shivered. Because you can see the reflection of his recent kill in his eyes. Or something like that. yikes.

  3. Maria
    September 29, 2008 11:07 pm

    6- Maybe he’ll take me out for an orange mocha frappuccino?

  4. FieryOne
    September 29, 2008 11:22 pm

    Please tell me you saw Jesus in the stands at the Steelers game. He was holding a sign saying “Have Faith in the Steelers”. Not kidding. It was AMAZING.

  5. scottie
    September 30, 2008 6:04 am

    5) I think I just vomited a little

  6. Summer
    September 30, 2008 7:36 am

    I always enjoy wrapping up a nice moonlit walk in a creepy cemetery with a rousing game of pinball.

  7. Brian
    September 30, 2008 8:01 am

    Fiery One, I saw Jesus after Reed’s game-winning FG and laughed hysterically. People dressed up as Jesus are way funnier when the Steelers win. OK, it still would have been funny had they lost, especially if he was giving Ray “Even Though I Don’t Make All the Plays, I Act Like I Do” Lewis the finger.

    1.) Makes me think of the old goth SNL skits. Can’t believe people still dress this way. Oh wait, it’s Pitsburgh. Yes I do. Wonder if LaMont dressed him.

    2.) Hahahahahahaha!

    5.) I wonder how many people this guy drugged and/or killed.

    6.) Pittgirl proves she’s almost as funny as Steelers Jesus. Is this guy angling for a Penney’s catalog job?

  8. murph
    September 30, 2008 8:27 am

    #6…. i know this guy! went to high school with him. he’s actually really nice.

  9. jodi
    September 30, 2008 8:32 am

    #7…Uhm…his dog? Is dressed better than he is.
    But…I do love a man who can rock a unicycle!!
    Why does 8 come before 7 in this post??

  10. PittGirl
    September 30, 2008 8:39 am

    I have no idea. Blond moment?

  11. Jefferson
    September 30, 2008 9:17 am

    Are there missing links like this in other cities or are we just blessed?

  12. frantastic
    September 30, 2008 9:22 am

    7… This is the picture my kidnappers used back in August to prove that we were alive so that they could get the ransom.

  13. unsatisfied
    September 30, 2008 9:24 am

    soooooooo………..PG’s a blonde then….hmmmmmm.


    totally saw Jesus at the game last night. no doubt that there was some divine intervention for your pittsburgh steelers in that game. it shows that He has a place in his heart for even our skeevy placekicker.

    thank God.

  14. unsatisfied
    September 30, 2008 9:26 am

    and, btw — on the way out from the game last night, there was a line of sluts forming outside the steelers’ locker room.

    I’d say that they were well deserved.

  15. Lauren
    September 30, 2008 10:10 am

    The golden retriever may be the most attractive being I’ve ever seen on Craig’s List. What a cutie : )

  16. Zsa
    September 30, 2008 10:23 am

    I really like that #3 included pets in family and said what he said about music. If he wasn’t the complete opposite of my type physically and if I didn’t have some really BAD Scorpio memories, I’d calll him up.

  17. Caryn
    September 30, 2008 12:20 pm

    #2 – PG I can’t believe you passed on mentioning his “meds” comment – nothing says come and get me ladies than mentioning your 35 yrs old, bored, and on meds- YUMMY! The pic is just eye candy – that tree is HOT!

    #3 is a shining example for men out there of how to do this right. Gold star to Witty Man.

    #7 (really #8 but who is anal?) is not that bad, as far as effort goes, but he could have explained the unicycle…..or maybe its best left silent…….

    P.S. SOOO glad I found love and don’t have to search

  18. LaReina
    September 30, 2008 4:31 pm

    #8 is totally irresistible. Incomprehensible, perhaps, but probably too good to pass up.

  19. Lindsey
    October 1, 2008 2:21 pm

    no one should ever ever ever have to google a zoolander quote to figure out what it’s from!