Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

The Steelers are bringing back The Dump Truck, The Defecator, Dookie, Davenpoop, The Poopetrator, The Big Shit Najeh Davenport to replace their first, second, and third running backs, all of whom are now maimed and injured, with Mendenhall and Davis both going down last night.

Some questions:

1. Will Najeh re-open his ridiculously sad Southern Royalty clothing store on Fifth Avenue, which he emptied out the week after he was released from the team?

2.  Are we absolutely sure Najeh Davenport didn’t put a hex on the running backs?  Some voodoo?  Some Magick?  Some scientology science?  Some rat heads in a bubbling stew of horse pee and a few drops of Kordell Stewart’s zit juice — a rancid stew that he stirs slowly with a giant spoon all, “Mwah-hahaha!” before he sprinkles it in their helmets?

I’m just saying, it’s convenient is all.

(h/t NotreDame 9207 and Paul)





19 Comments

  1. unsatisfied
    September 30, 2008 11:39 am

    “…a few drops of Kordell Stewart’s zit juice…”

    I just spewed.



  2. Jimmy
    September 30, 2008 11:45 am

    I’m stifling laughter here at work over “Kordell Stewart’s zit juice.”

    And I’m really happy that Najeh is back, but only for the reason that I get to call someone “Davenpoop” again.



  3. pittgirl
    September 30, 2008 11:47 am

    Originally? It said, “a few drops of Kordell Stewart’s man juice.”

    But then I had this conversation with myself:

    “Too much?”

    “Too much.”



  4. SportyGa85
    September 30, 2008 12:04 pm

    Kordell’s man juice?! Eeew, too much indeed. As for the injury situation, did Alan Faneca put a hex on our offensive linemen as well? Casey’s out of shape with a bad hamstring, Kendall Simmons is out for the season…



  5. Summer
    September 30, 2008 12:06 pm

    Let’s face it: There’s a hex on the Steelers, period.

    I bet Kordell’s behind it.



  6. WorkingMama
    September 30, 2008 12:14 pm

    Ok – but can Najeh please throw in his hex some way for them to bring back Jeremy Bloom please?

    Also, did anyone else catch the Steelers segment on Friday with Bob Pompiani and Jeff Reed? Bob totally called him Skippy! I was cracking up and thought – oh Bob, you read Pittgirl too! Then I thought, oh, is that like some nickname for kickers – “Skippy?” I dunno. But I still found it hysterical. It would have even been better had he called him Skippy Skeeve! Hee hee!



  7. DahCheet
    September 30, 2008 12:15 pm

    I don’t know about the rest of the readers I but I greatly appreciate the change to “zit juice”.

    Hehe, Davenpoop.



  8. captain dummy
    September 30, 2008 12:37 pm

    some guy behind me at the game kept calling reed “skippy” too! i thought that was funny. i was going to say something, but the guy was a bit of a tool… much like me.



  9. WorkingMama
    September 30, 2008 12:44 pm

    Nice! Now, if you had said Skeeve after every time he said Skippy – that would have been fun – you could turn it into a drinking game. Anytime someone says Skippy, you need to yell Skeeve and then take a drink.



  10. Woy
    September 30, 2008 12:51 pm

    Mrs. Woy will be devastated that they haven’t brought back Verron Haynes.



  11. WorkingMama
    September 30, 2008 12:53 pm

    It’s still early in the season – maybe she’ll get her wish!



  12. Patrick
    September 30, 2008 1:05 pm

    Captain Dummy, some people behind ME at the game kept calling him Skippy too. Our seats are up in 516.



  13. Renee
    September 30, 2008 1:06 pm

    http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/s_105213.html

    One of Reed’s first orders of business in Pittsburgh was to try to clear up the nickname thing. A reporter said he heard Reed was called “Skippy” at North Carolina. Reed denied it, but the name made the rounds on radio shows. Steelers players ate it up. Reed’s locker-mate was 255-pound running back Chris Fuamatu-Ma’afala, who introduced himself as “Fu.”

    Morris Reed picks up the story from there.

    “Jeff said, ‘Nice to meet you,’ and Fu said, ‘Nice to meet you, too, Skippy.’ Jeff says, ‘That’s not my name,’ and Fu says, ‘Well, I’m calling you Skippy.’

    “Jeff said, ‘That’s fine.’ ”



  14. NY Luvs Pitts
    September 30, 2008 1:23 pm

    Najeh Davenport?!?! Wow!!! I was wondering what we were going to do. We left the game pretty broken up last night.



  15. retiredguy
    September 30, 2008 1:58 pm

    Wouldn’t that be scatological science.



  16. ic lion
    September 30, 2008 2:47 pm

    I counted 4 “confluence”s . . . can anyone confirm/beat that?

    I know you Skeeve the Skip, but he won me over after the game last night. Did you see him and Ed Reed talking about Skeevio’s nudie pics? There wasn’t a mic by them, but I’m pretty sure Jeff was saying, “No joke man, its thiiiiis big”
    What do you think- http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/images/200809/dianasteelers0930i_330.jpg



  17. Jess
    September 30, 2008 2:53 pm

    Add a couple of Mark Malone’s mustache hairs…



  18. Sue
    September 30, 2008 7:12 pm

    What is weird is the Pats play is down with Brady out and WTFrs is wrong with Peyton Manning?
    Why oh why did we have to get this brutal schedule.
    Where is the offensive brillance we so badly wish for?
    We could of gone all the way baby..sigh



  19. Megan
    October 2, 2008 7:21 pm

    Why not Haynes!?!?