Chuck Norris has nothing on him.

The circumstances surrounding the legitimacy of his birth aside …  Mario is Hockey’s Toughest Bastard.

Also, he’s kind of adorable when he smiles.

(h/t jokane)


  1. chrys
    October 14, 2008 10:03 am

    ” has scored with more guys on his back than Paris Hilton” .. Now that’s priceless. :)

  2. Pensgirl
    October 14, 2008 10:17 am

    I can’t link to Maxim from my office, so I can’t see who wrote that, but safe to say the author is someone who seriously knows hockey. Every word of that is church.

    Funny your title references the Chuck Norris thing. A young colleague recently wrote “Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door” on the chalkboard in my office, and I quickly changed it to read “Mario Lemieux.” No misplaced reverence in my house.

  3. Smiley
    October 14, 2008 1:38 pm

    Speaking of tough, how’s come our quarterback can play with a separated shoulder and a litany of other injuries and Tony Womo can’t pway becaws his widdle piggie finger has an ouchie?

  4. JamieO
    October 14, 2008 2:28 pm


    The same injury put Charlie Batch out for several weeks during the 2005 season, and we got stuck with Tommy Maddox until Ben returned. The pinky finger is extremely important to throwing a football. I broke my pinky playing college baseball and couldn’t throw for a month. I can’t imagine trying to throw a football with any accuracy with a broken pinky.

    I can’t stand the Cowboys, but given my dislike for Dallas, I would rather Romo tough it out and throw four INTs a game for a month.

  5. unsatisfied
    October 14, 2008 2:49 pm

    romo’s a pussy. how about the kid who plays division II football who had his pinkie amputated — AMPUTATED — so that he could play again this season?

    “Trevor Wikre had a choice: Lose his pinkie finger or lose his football season.

    “I said, ‘Cut it off,’ ” Wikre says. He took no time to ponder. “I knew right away,” he says. “It wasn’t a hard choice.”

    Wikre, 21, is a guard for Mesa State College, a Division II school in Grand Junction, Colo. He had told teammates a couple of weeks earlier how much he loved them as brothers.

    “I said, ‘I’d take a bullet for you,’ ” he says. “Well, this was my chance to put words into action. This was my bullet.”

    The trauma came Sept. 30 when Wikre’s right little finger shattered at practice. He pulled off a glove, saw bone jutting out and asked trainers to tape it up. They declined and got him to the hospital, where doctors advised him that he needed season-ending surgery.

    “I’m a senior,” Wikre (pronounced WICK-er-EE) says. “If they put pins in there, my career was finished. I told them to just take it off. They said I was being dramatic. I said, yeah, well, losing my season is dramatic, too.””

    yeah — romo’s a pussy.

  6. Tony N
    October 14, 2008 3:22 pm

    Not to pick nits, but an offensive guard doesn’t really need his pinky finger the way a QB does. I side w/ Jamie O. The pinky finger stabilizes and helps aim the football when throwing.

    You can’t always go by the size of the injured body part. Turf toe ended Jack Lambert’s career.

  7. Smiley
    October 14, 2008 3:56 pm

    Tweeeeeeet! 15 yard penalty for lacking a sense of humor. No. 5 & No. 6, visiting team.

    You can also expect a fine form league commish, PittGirl.

  8. Smiley
    October 14, 2008 3:58 pm

    Correction. That’s No. 4 and No. 6.


    Ed Hochuli

    (No one feels worse about this than I do.)

  9. unsatisfied
    October 14, 2008 4:08 pm

    jack youngblood of the (used to be) LA rams played in super bowl XIV vs. the steelers with a fractured left fibula. I’m sure that he needed that in order to play.

    just sayin’….

    back on topic — mario — tough as nails.

  10. hello haha narf
    October 14, 2008 8:51 pm

    he is kinda totally adorable when he smiles.

  11. bucdaddy
    October 14, 2008 9:55 pm

    “He also continued to be one of the game’s all-time greats for another 10 years.”

    Well … that’s kind of stretching it, given that he was retired for three of those 10 seasons, though I’ll admit the half-season comeback year was pretty damn good. After that, of course, he was … a little less than great, and I’m still convinced he unnecessarily hanstrung his coach and GM for several years, resulting (in part) in some terrible teams, but that rant’s for another post. Props for being a tough guy, yes.