Random n’at.

1. Reader Vanessa wrote me:

I have a question I hope you can address on the blog, since you have mentioned it in passing before. What is the deal with the Post-Gazette website taking a MILLION years to load even a simple article? I have looked for a place to complain about it on the site but found none (probably because I gave up waiting for anything even close to launch…

Maybe publicly shaming the P-G via your blog can help? I hope so.

I have already indicated as much not too long ago, but yeah, WTF is up with the P-G site anymore?  All the slowness and the downtime.  It’s acting like The Burgh Blog.

Ba-ba. BAH!

2.  The Church of Kinky Sexy Times has been determined to be a business and can no longer operate out of a house in a residential area of Westmoreland County.

Somewhere, Jeff Skippy Skeeve Reed is very sadcakes.

3.  He’ll be okay though because he can go to Adams where a woman sued and has now been granted permission to open her pole dancing/stripper exercise club.

You won’t ever find PittGirl there, not only because I don’t wish to ever bump into Skippy Skeeve again, but also because if my abilities at yoga are any indication, me using a stripper pole will look about as sexy as scurvy.

4.  Sonni Abatta, the Firefighter. Hawt.

5.  Some What The Effies for you:

  • She says, “I game with my great friends (LARP – basically theatrical improv).”  Theatrical improv?  Well, THANK YOU, lady for giving me an excuse to post another great LARP picture from Bifford The Youngest:

Lighting bolt!  Lightning bolt!  Lightning bolt! That will never get old.

Also, she needs to give this guy a holler.  They can LARP their wedding.  I will be the officiator and I’ll say it like this, “Mawidge!  Mawidge is what bwings us togewah today.  WUV!  Twu wuv …”  It will be awesome.  Then we’ll all storm the castle.

  • Careful ladies, Skippy is on the prowl for some new sluts.
  • Oh, where to start? Do I start with “I do have the requisite floggers/whips and paddles” or do I start with “If you’re reading this and think I’m sadistic and like to degrade people, you’re right”?  Nah.  I’ll start with this keyword he put in the bottom for “maximum searchability”:  forced sex. That’s charming.  Actually, read his whole last paragraph of keywords because I think when you get to the last three words you’re going to just hit the floor laughing.
  • He doesn’t want people just looking at the pics and then hitting him up.  Can I just once please use this overused expression?  Just once?  ROTFLMAO!

6.  Ken Rice knows a thing or two about comedic timing.  Just watch the first few seconds of this video.



  1. chrys
    October 15, 2008 11:36 am

    5. oh, Mr. Dominant.. why bring Depeche Mode into your crazy world of sadism?

    I don’t think I will ever understand this kind of “relationship”.. safe, sane and consensual.. ok.. whatever.

  2. Bram R
    October 15, 2008 11:49 am

    To my experience, the P-G’s website gets loathsomely slow only between about 7:30 AM and 10:00 AM — i.e., the exact times it would be most convenient for me to do my thing. But at other times it seems to pop up pretty fast.

    Bifford the Youngest looks a lot like Our Mayor. I don’t get your private jokes, though. Sweat lines, sweat lines! AAK!

  3. pittgirl
    October 15, 2008 11:53 am

    Bram. Watch the video in this post. You’ll get it then.


  4. Pensgirl
    October 15, 2008 11:54 am

    1. Yeah, the PG site has been bad for awhile…hangs like crazy on nearly every article.

    5. “What the effie” may not be strong enough a phrase for Mr. Maximum Searchability.

    6. (Tooting your own horn there Pittgirl? J/k…) Holy crap I miss Ken Rice. He and Burnett are the only people who can intentionally cause me to laugh at the local news. Bawlmer news just can’t compete.

  5. elysianfantasy
    October 15, 2008 11:58 am

    OMG! Too funny! However, looking at those poor little children dressed up for the LORP banquet, it just makes me wonder why some people are allowed to procreate. Especially when they introduce them to the world of LORP (AKA permanent social awkwardness). Oh, the humanity!!!

  6. TheJim
    October 15, 2008 12:02 pm

    Have they started showing The Jeff Reed Show in PCNC yet? I bet that’s a real hootnanny.

  7. Brian
    October 15, 2008 12:15 pm

    Ken Rice pretty much rules. His reaction a few months ago after that “mysterious wildcat running wild” story in … I want to say east Liberty or the Hill District … was priceless.

  8. captain dummy
    October 15, 2008 12:16 pm

    lol @ “sadcakes”

    nice one!

  9. Summer
    October 15, 2008 12:39 pm

    I was watching the news last night and the whole thing about the church/not-a-church came on, and I turned to my husband and said: “I wonder if PittGirls knows?”

    He had no clue. None. I might have to trade him in for a newer, younger model. Any suggestions?

  10. Still A. Dad
    October 15, 2008 1:11 pm

    Vanessa- If you think the Post Gazette website takes a long time to load, try the Uniontown newspaper. http://www.heraldstandard.com

  11. DW
    October 15, 2008 1:50 pm

    Summer, my wife is the same way. I always mention Pittgirl and she thinks I’m having an affair or something! She has no clue at all even though I’ve tried to get her to the site! I have the long sleeve PG shirt and the wife just shakes her head when I wear it…

  12. unsatisfied
    October 15, 2008 2:23 pm

    now I can call 911 and ask for them to dispatch sonni to come and put out the flames that she started.


    wow, that’s sad.

  13. Foghorn Tom
    October 15, 2008 2:54 pm

    Big BWA HA HA on the Ken Rice video. I was half expecting him to take a little jab at himself, as long time fans will remember that he was one up for “Mr Unibrow”, which he’s long since fixed.

    The last line on the Sonni/Firefighter entry was something about “hugging a firefighter”. I’m guessing there will be a line outside of KDKA tomorrow morning.

  14. kkinLA
    October 15, 2008 4:00 pm

    Admittedly, it’s been 12 years since I’ve actively lived in the ‘Burgh, but what the hell with Ken Rice’s voice? It was always what could be described as “nasally…” but Je-Bus, he is actively talking out of the upper part of his nose!!! WTF???

  15. NorthSide15212
    October 15, 2008 4:04 pm

    PittGirl all I can think of when I see the LARP’ers is “WTF?” And yet, as if compelled by some mystical force -or lightning bolt- I hit the link and surf those photos. I cannot stop myself. “I am repulsed and yet I cannot look away.”

  16. PGcopygirl
    October 15, 2008 4:29 pm

    Hey now. No shaming of the P-G required. Yeah it ain’t the best, but bureaucracy is slow, you know? Click “Contact Us” on the home page (http://biz.post-gazette.com/contact/) and at the bottom, there are several contact forms for the web people.

    a P-G underling

  17. gumbygirl
    October 15, 2008 4:48 pm

    I am having trouble connecting bondage and bad eighties music. Maybe it’s the black leather? I love the guy who believes his picture will cause women to lose control-what a douchie!

  18. TheJim
    October 15, 2008 5:03 pm


    That’s assuming you can get it to load at all, which lately has been a 50/50 proposition. N’at.

  19. bucdaddy
    October 15, 2008 11:17 pm

    1. And here I thought it was just my running Win98 on a stone-age PC. Thanks, I feel better about being a Luddite now.

  20. sesquipedalianProse
    October 16, 2008 11:22 am

    On the PG’s website.

    1. Open the page in a new tab.
    2. Wait about 5 seconds.
    3. If the page doesn’t load, force the page to reload.
    4. Repeat until page loads.

    With my (nominal) knowledge, there is too much traffic going to a certain page. If the page won’t load, get back “in line” by making the page reload.

    I use Firefox (as IE and Safari are teh devil), so I continue clicking on the “>” at the end of the address bar until the page loads. It’s a pain, but the page will typically load within 5 clicks.

  21. Erin
    October 16, 2008 12:50 pm

    Um, that is totally Luke R. in that picture!