I took two gradeschoolers to Pizza Hut yesterday because I am an awesome auntie and because it is good birth control.
H is in 1st grade and N is in kindergarten.
H: Aunt PittGirl. Did you hear about cousin J?
PittGirl: J? No.
H: Didn’t Aunt Ta-Ta the Giant-Breasted Poobah call you?
PittGirl: Uh-oh. What happened?
H: Some older kid told J all of the dirty words at recess yesterday. And then J went home and repeated them all to Aunt Ta-Ta.
N: What dirty words? What are the dirty words?
PittGirl: What dirty words were they? [peers over at the younger N who is listening intently. N is still sheltered from dirty words.] Don’t say them! Fingerspell the first letter. (H knows sign language)
H: [fingerspells a B]
PittGirl: No. Way!
N: WHAT?! What dirty words?
PittGirl: Nothing. No dirty words. Eat your pizza. [To H] What else?
H: [fingerspells an S]
PittGirl: Oh boy.
N: No fair! What’s the dirty words?
H: AND! [fingerspells an F]
N: [Gasp!] Did J say STUPID PIG?!?!?
Recess. A time to play and a time to learn how to spell bitch.