Somebody put out the Asshat signal!

I will preface this by saying that PittGirl has never tried marijuana in her life.  Some of you are going, “Good girl.” (Hiya, Daddy!) and some of you are going, “OMG.  What a pilgrim.”  (Hiya, Skippy!).

Santonio Holmes, realizing he hasn’t done anything truly asshatworthy since he let some chick, at least I assume it was a chick, snap a photo of his freshly showered giant penis, decided it was time to live up to his Burgh Blog moniker once again.

Steelers receiver Santonio Holmes will be charged with possession of marijuana after three blunts were found inside his vehicle Thursday afternoon in Uptown, Pittsburgh police said.

Holmes was stopped about 4 p.m. near the intersection of Centre Avenue and Mario Lemieux Place by officers searching for a vehicle with a similar description.

When officers approached Holmes’ vehicle, they smelled an odor of burning marijuana, police said.

  • Smoking marijuana when you’re being paid millions of dollars to keep yourself in top physical shape?  Asshattery.
  • Risking an arrest knowing it could get you suspended which affects your whole team?  Asshattery.
  • Driving while smoking marijuana, instead of doing it in your home where you’re less likely to get caught?  Asshattery.
  • Driving while smoking marijuana, greatly affecting your response time, greatly raising your chances of taking an innocent life?  Asshattery!

So now we’ve got The Asshat on public drunkenness, babymama choking, giant public penis, AND misdemeanor drug possession.

Should we rename him Super Asshat?  He can be like a superhero for the doofi of the world.

Yeah, then the doofi of the world could put out the Asshat signal all, “Super Asshat?!  Help!  Help me shove my head further up my ass!”

Gawd.





54 Comments


  1. Kylie
    October 24, 2008 8:41 am

    I choked on my coffee when I read ‘asshatery.’ Brilliant!



  2. john
    October 24, 2008 8:41 am

    Someones job might be on the line!



  3. Dan (Not Onarato)
    October 24, 2008 8:46 am

    I guess we shall see…hes having a decent season. Cant wait to see how this plays out

    Stoner asshat….



  4. MiamiShyner
    October 24, 2008 8:50 am

    Upon seeing this in the paper, my thoughts went like this:
    God, what a douchebag.
    DUDE, WE’RE PLAYING THE GIANTS THIS WEEK! COME ON!
    So glad I don’t have him on my fantasy team.
    Can he EVER stay out of trouble?
    God, what a douchebag.



  5. bucdaddy
    October 24, 2008 8:50 am

    I am shocked! Shocked!

    On the other hand … pot? When I saw “drug charges” I expected much worse. The league isn’t going to like it, which I understand, and you don’t have to like it PG, which I understand, but in many places these days this is treated like a traffic ticket, which seems about right. Much as I likes my beer, I know booze is a far far bigger problem on the roads than pot.

    Whoa … My brain just flashed an image of PittGirl stoned. She was hungry … very very hungry. She was eating an entire carrot cake …



  6. SK
    October 24, 2008 8:54 am

    Upon seeing this in the paper, my thoughts went like this:

    1. What a dumbass, asshat, idiot (yes, my inuslts all run together like that)

    2. Can’t wait to see what PittGirl has to say about this one!



  7. John R. Carman
    October 24, 2008 9:02 am

    With a name like Holmes, it has to be giant public penis.



  8. PghGirlNextDoor
    October 24, 2008 9:11 am

    Please for all that is holy in this world, do not rename him Super Asshat. There is nothing “super” about this man…with the exception of his ridiculously long manhood. YACK!



  9. bucdaddy
    October 24, 2008 9:16 am

    “after three blunts were found inside his vehicle”

    And a fourth in his pants.

    bada-BUMP



  10. John R. Carman
    October 24, 2008 9:17 am

    Sorry for starting the penis jokes in the comments (not sorry).



  11. NY Luvs Pitts
    October 24, 2008 9:18 am

    I’m speechless!!!



  12. chrys
    October 24, 2008 9:32 am

    He is a douchebag.. actually that would be insulting douchebags everywhere.. at least they serve a purpose. Asshat seems to only serve himself. He is Super Duper Asshat!

    so I guess it’s a given he won’t be playing the Giants this weekend?



  13. Greg
    October 24, 2008 9:32 am

    Another example of millionaire athletes disregarding the law and putting their own selfishness above the team.



  14. Mia`
    October 24, 2008 9:39 am

    “millionaire atheletes disregarding the law and putting their own selfishness” first….vs everyone else out there that smokes pot? while driving even?
    Sorry the atheletes don’t have that market cornered.



  15. kelli
    October 24, 2008 9:44 am

    I was going to comment, but Bucdaddy took care of everything I was going to say.



  16. Sooska
    October 24, 2008 9:47 am

    My first thoughts upon seeing this were “The Asshat is at it again” followed quickly by “Hee!I cant wait to see TBB – PittGirl will have a field day!” and then “OMG we’re playing the GIANTS on SUnday! what. an. effing. moron.”

    Is there anyone else on this team that would do such a stupid and irresponsible thing? What will the STeelers do? keep? or toss? or give way?

    Give me Hines Ward and his “dirrrty’ play any day.

    Super Asshat doesn’t have the ring that “asshat” does. no captial A either.



  17. BobM
    October 24, 2008 9:54 am

    PghGirlNextDoor and bucdaddy have the topic pretty well covered.

    My immediate thought was, “WTF, did the Steelers trade him to Cincinnati?”
    Then, “let’s hope the NFL does not issue the suspension before the Giants game.” (and yeah, I expect we’ll lose his services for four games.)
    And finally, “I sure hope the rookie Sweed is learning the playbook.”

    An aside:
    We now know the answer to the riddle, “what has two heads and no brain?”



  18. pat
    October 24, 2008 10:03 am

    #1- Holmes will likely not be suspended as the players that are suspended for drug related arrests have usually already failed drug tests and are in the league’s substance abuse program. Holmes is not.

    #2- If the league does take action, it will be after the legal system runs its course, which in all likelihood means after the season.

    #3- If you think Holmes is the only Steeler that smokes weed, you’re completely insane.



  19. firefly88
    October 24, 2008 10:04 am

    At first I started to laugh at “Super Asshat?! Help! Help me shove my head further up my ass!”

    Then I realized: this isn’t funny. Whatever personal consequences he earns from this new escapade, he deserves. But when his asshattery threatens our Steelers – right before we play the Super Bowl champs – in my book, that dooms him to Bengals hell. Trade the frakkin’ tool! Right now, I’d rather have TJ Douchemanzadeh catching Ben’s passes.



  20. blech
    October 24, 2008 10:09 am

    When I saw this story on the news this morning, my first thought was “I wonder what PittGirl will say about the Asshat”
    This is the greatest birthday present of all!



  21. Pensgirl
    October 24, 2008 10:13 am

    Pat, why would you think anybody here is stupid enough to believe Holmes is the only person who smokes up? He’s being called out because he got his dumb ass caught, and right before a big game. People who drive high tend to drive extremely slow (like, 5-10mph), and any cop who sees you doing 7 in a 35 is gonna know why.



  22. Butt Munch
    October 24, 2008 10:32 am

    I guess the upside is that he wasn’t carrying a Bam Morris level of hooch in the car



  23. SteelyMcStupid
    October 24, 2008 10:33 am

    Hmmmm. Three days before arguably the biggest game of the season a starting WR is out rolling around in his SUV smoking blunts like he is some baller ass thug slacker from McKees Rocks. Check out the big brain on Santonio.\

    It is interesting that the Pittsburgh police officer felt the need to defend SanSmokio and blurt out that he shouldn;t be suspended and then likened him to a fireman (well he does have a hose as we well know).



  24. ark
    October 24, 2008 10:37 am

    I am torn between thinking the Steelers should have asshat sit out a few games, and thinking that they should toss him altogether. I know smoking pot it common and people get caught all the time and blah blah blah. BUT…that being said….he’s in the public eye. That includes children. He’s already got a shady past. Do we need to let this slide without some sort of punishment?? I know football players get paid so much because they put their body on the line in the game…but sometimes I do think they tend to get a little egotistical and act like they’re above the law because they’re paid so highly. How many more times does he have to screw up? Especially if we’re all going to blow it off because “he’s not the only one who smokes up” or whatever other stupid reason we could give.



  25. Gab Bonesso
    October 24, 2008 10:54 am

    Look. I talked to a Pittsburgh Steeler first hand who told me that ALL of the Steelers (with the exception of Sepulveda) smoke weed because it helps them with all the bruising and beatings that they take. So yeah. It’s medicinal. Stop judging!

    I like your blog, Frances!

    Your pal,

    Gab Bonesso



  26. Thee Dude
    October 24, 2008 10:54 am

    I think he is now part of the Legion of Doom.



  27. Lukey
    October 24, 2008 11:14 am

    Good opportunity for Limas Sweed to show if drafting him #2 was worth it!



  28. Bram R
    October 24, 2008 11:34 am

    Okay, first of all I am glad it was three blunts, and not multiple pounds of shrink-wrapped marijuana like some former big Steeler running back. (Bam Morris?)

    Second, I think the dope affects different people in different ways. I know some top-flight athletes who are total addicts, as well as a martial arts freak that trains like hell and looks like an anime superhero.

    That having been said, Santonio Holmes sometimes has been known to play like your stereotypical stoner. How many punt recoveries did he muff in a row? And sometimes he seems to be LOPING out there…

    My take: THURSDAY NIGHT?? Save it for Mondays and Tuesdays, Holmes.



  29. Bram R
    October 24, 2008 11:35 am

    Nate Washington is knocking, after all.



  30. ark
    October 24, 2008 11:50 am

    Gab….um….yay for you for talking “first hand” to a Steeler.

    I could care less if people smoke pot, but as PittGirl pointed out….do it at home, where you can’t get caught as easily. Or don’t do it while you’re driving, lest you ‘tard up and hit someone. Holmes is just plain stupid for driving around downtown, at 4pm on a Thursday, getting high in his car. Why didn’t he just walk down the street yelling “I’m smoking some pot here. Pot! Smokin’ pot..” He’s already in the public eye, already has had legal trouble, and doesn’t seem to respect himself or his job which in turn tells me he’s not too concerned of what Steeler fans think and that, to me, is disappointing.



  31. Guido
    October 24, 2008 11:54 am

    Thank you for this post today PittGirl! I was just ranting to my co-worker (LT) today about the same topic when she pointed out your post today.

    AMEN!



  32. retiredguy
    October 24, 2008 11:55 am

    All he got was a non-traffic citation for possession of a small amount of grass. Basically, a disorderly conduct. He’ll pay a little fine. He’s lucky he wasn’t charged with DUI.



  33. Bram R
    October 24, 2008 12:14 pm

    “Or don’t do it while you’re driving, lest you ‘tard up and hit someone.”

    Oooh, ark, I wrestled with this one for a little bit … but yeah you’re right. Also a foul.



  34. btezra
    October 24, 2008 12:40 pm

    quick question, was he arrested at 4:20 yesterday afternoon?

    coincidence?
    I think not.



  35. JamieO
    October 24, 2008 1:11 pm

    First off, I will categorically deny that I know ANYTHING about how funny The Burgh Blog is when high.

    Um, why are looking at my eyes, man?

    Anyhoo, yeah, if you are an NFL player with a great career, you might wanna lay off the chronic there, Snoop. Or, okays, how about a compromise – maybe don’t smoke up at rush hour in downtown while driving. You know, with cops controlling lights at a lot of corners, with unusually narrow streets (for a big city) filled with people, and with you performing your asshattery (lol) that has a distinctive smell.

    Geesh – is this another Plaxico we have here?



  36. Pingback: Something to Work With, Fellas? | Color Coded Cupcakes

  37. windy city steel city
    October 24, 2008 1:20 pm

    btezra>
    4:20! Love it. One adam 12, One adam 12. Man in SUV. We’ve got a 420 at 420pm.
    Or was he “truckin, down a one-way street…”



  38. Elmer Palmer
    October 24, 2008 6:03 pm

    Does anyone believe this Chinese food angle that I keeps hearing about?



  39. john
    October 24, 2008 6:10 pm

    PITTGIRL!!!! I am busting a seam wondering when you are going to write about McCains crazy volunteer girl!!! COME ON DAMNIT



  40. scottie
    October 24, 2008 11:11 pm

    Pat: Of course other people smoke pot…look at skippy… explains a lot.



  41. Lukey
    October 24, 2008 11:28 pm

    john,
    So McCain has ONE crazy girl…all of Obama’s volunteers are convicts! LOL!



  42. Sue
    October 25, 2008 7:31 am

    Snooptonio has the need for weed which opens the door for Sweed.

    The asshat has got to go.
    On another note, I hope Fast Willie isnt sporting one of those fashionable staph infections in his knee.

    PLEASE just beat the Smurfs!



  43. Steeler_tom
    October 25, 2008 9:38 am

    I say shit-can the jerk. Just like we did with Bam Morris….



  44. California kid
    October 25, 2008 1:31 pm

    Maybe someday a great cloud of pot smoke will descend on your city and enlighten you. I grew up in stinktown, glad to hear it still stinks a little.



  45. Bram R
    October 25, 2008 4:48 pm

    So anyway. PIT: 27 NYG: 24. Nate Washington big numbers obviously, also looking for Heath Miller to break out. I have no problems at all with Mewelde Moore.



  46. NorthSide15212
    October 26, 2008 9:35 am

    Sell the “medicinal” bullshit somewhere else. The Steelers spend millions every year on physicians, therapists, and rehab equipment and there is no shortage of proven, legal therapeutic pharmaceutical options for players to manage their pain. Players smoke up because they like getting high. Period. And every player is fully aware of team and league policy regarding the use of contraband substances, in addition to the responsibility they have to their teammates. This is strike three for Asshat –he will not play again in a Steeler uniform after his contract expires, just like Plex.



  47. Steeler_tom
    October 26, 2008 1:02 pm

    Northside15212…..
    That’s Church!

    Amen!



  48. jody d
    October 26, 2008 1:42 pm

    The asshat can smoke more dope than three busloads of Phish fans, so long as it doesn’t affect his ability to perform. Quite simply, being so stupid as to be busted with it impacts his ability to perform, as Rooney and Tomlin had to go all “law & order” and suspend him before Mr. Macho Commish did. He doesn’t owe me a thing, but he does have a responsibility to his teammates. Were I the Duke of Fug, I’d be beyond pissed at the burnt asshat. Give me Hines and his allegedly dirty hits any g-d day.



  49. SeanCollier
    October 26, 2008 9:05 pm

    NorthSide, feel free to criticize the man for putting his team at risk, being cavalier about it, and endangering people by smoking while driving.

    But are you really the one person left on the planet that doesn’t believe in medicinal uses of marijuana? Seriously? Read something. Anything.



  50. pittgirl
    October 27, 2008 6:28 am

    Sean, clearly northside is speaking of the claim for the medicinal use in sports, which, I agree is bullshit. He also clearly states that in lieu of marijuana there are plenty of proven therapies ‘for players’ to manage their pain.