There’s nothing giant and wet to see here. Move along.

The Asshat issued a written apology that basically said I was wrong, I admit it, I make no excuses and please don’t ever speak of this again.

As a team captain, I accepted his apology right then because I know what kind of guy Santonio is,” veteran linebacker James Farrior said. “He’s never really a distraction to the team or never really causes an uproar. He’s one of the good guys on the team so when stuff like that happens you’ve just got to accept his apology and we’ve just got to keep going.”

New facts you can add to your mental file of factual things that are factually accurately true:

  • Fact #1: Choking your babymama, getting arrested for public drunkenness, and getting caught with an illegal drug in your SUV makes you “one of the good guys.”  Good to know.
  • Fact #2: Having your Giant Freshly Showered Penis plastered all over the internet for anyone who chooses to Google Santonio Holmes to see is in fact NOT a distraction in any way, shape, or form.  It’s a big nothing.  A GREAT BIG GIANT FRESHLY SHOWERED nothing.

Question: If you were accosted on the street by Bob Mayo and a camera crew and Bob Mayo said, “We’re asking regular Burghers, which Steelers player would you say most regularly causes an uproar?” who among you wouldn’t have a 50/50 chance of shouting into the camera with arms raised high in the air in victory, “THE ASSHAT FOR THE WIN!”

Don’t insult us, James Farrior.  We know it’s about the receiving yards.


  1. Gunnlino
    October 27, 2008 9:50 pm

    He’s a dick, I said he was a dick, and he’ll always be a dick.
    You wait, he’ll do it again, be a dick that is, just give him some time…….

  2. Brother Anthony
    October 27, 2008 10:50 pm

    Perhaps the G.B.G.F.S.P. carries a lot of weight in being one of the good guys in some circles?

  3. Three
    October 28, 2008 12:07 am

    Don’t worry, he’ll be traded to Cincy or Dallas or the Raiders or whatever team is taking in the problem children next year. Catchy or no, the Rooneys no like this kind of stuff. And if the Rooneys ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

    Ask Bam Morris.

  4. bob
    October 28, 2008 7:12 am

    It could be worse..It could be pics his giant un-showered penis all over the internet

    He will mess up again it might not be this year

    But at this point its only a matter of time he is let go

  5. bucdaddy
    October 28, 2008 7:56 am

    “One of the good guys” = Sells to his teamies at a 10% discount.

  6. toni
    October 28, 2008 9:10 am

    I don’t believe for a second that the apology isn’t a press release created by the Steeler front office and in no way, shape, or form, has any basis in reality on what Santonio really would say. And you can use a giant showered penis for an exclamation point at the end of my statement.

  7. pittgirl
    October 28, 2008 7:59 pm


  8. pittgirl
    October 28, 2008 7:59 pm

    BAM! Comments working again.

  9. ScienceGeniusGirl
    October 28, 2008 9:25 pm

    Oh, if only everything would work well just by yelling, “BAM!”….

  10. minutes from the mall
    October 28, 2008 9:32 pm

    Come on, we all know you don’t get a picture of THAT when you Google Santonio Holmes. If you do Google Images, you get a picture of a young woman holding a baby, with the tag “Santonio Holmes beat her.”
    Which could mean anything.

  11. minutes from the mall
    October 28, 2008 9:38 pm

    Omigod, I just went to page 2 of Google Images! Jesus, that thing should have a park, a couple of schools, maybe its own fire department.

  12. unsatisfied
    October 28, 2008 10:16 pm

    wouldn’t it have been more interesting if holmes had written his own statement? you know, after puffin’ a coupla blunts and a glass of hennessey — that’d be some good shit.

  13. bucdaddy
    October 28, 2008 10:16 pm

    The fire department wouldn’t need to buy a hose.

  14. SpartansRule
    October 29, 2008 9:07 am

    PittGirl…your obsession with Asshat’s penis is becoming increasingly obvious.

  15. Chase
    October 30, 2008 10:50 pm

    1. The charges of domestic violence against Santonio were dropped. If had actually done anything, that wouldn’t happen.

    2. He was arrested for failing to cooperate with an officer’s request to clear the street. There was no public drunkenness, stop spreading falsities.

    3. The weed likely wasn’t his. The cop said marijuana had been smoked in the car, but yet San wasn’t impaired.

    And like he said, he smoked the day before.

    We need Santonio on the field badly. I hope for no suspension.