The Asshat issued a written apology that basically said I was wrong, I admit it, I make no excuses and please don’t ever speak of this again.
“As a team captain, I accepted his apology right then because I know what kind of guy Santonio is,” veteran linebacker James Farrior said. “He’s never really a distraction to the team or never really causes an uproar. He’s one of the good guys on the team so when stuff like that happens you’ve just got to accept his apology and we’ve just got to keep going.”
New facts you can add to your mental file of factual things that are factually accurately true:
- Fact #1: Choking your babymama, getting arrested for public drunkenness, and getting caught with an illegal drug in your SUV makes you “one of the good guys.” Good to know.
- Fact #2: Having your Giant Freshly Showered Penis plastered all over the internet for anyone who chooses to Google Santonio Holmes to see is in fact NOT a distraction in any way, shape, or form. It’s a big nothing. A GREAT BIG GIANT FRESHLY SHOWERED nothing.
Question: If you were accosted on the street by Bob Mayo and a camera crew and Bob Mayo said, “We’re asking regular Burghers, which Steelers player would you say most regularly causes an uproar?” who among you wouldn’t have a 50/50 chance of shouting into the camera with arms raised high in the air in victory, “THE ASSHAT FOR THE WIN!”
Don’t insult us, James Farrior. We know it’s about the receiving yards.