- October 27, 2008
- filed under Ben Roethlisberger, Eye rolls, Mike Tomlin, Random, Steelers, Troy Polamalu
Cheese and crackers.
What the hell just happened?
First, because I am a wonderful family member, I actually watched a majority of this game at my cousin’s house during my little cousin’s birthday party.
Star Wars themed it was.
We kicked the kiddos out of the TV room where they were watching Star Wars and making fun of Chewbacca (He can’t talk. He’s like “Bluuuuuuurgh.” HAHAHAH! Stupid bear.) because kiddos, it’s time for the grownups to watch football. Go beat each other up in the backyard.
Pens Fan, Father of PittGirl, Uncle of PittGirl, and I parked ourselves on the leather sofas and proceeded to watch shitloads of bad stuff happen.
What is this?
This is What They’re Really Thinking: Star Wars Edition in honor of little cousin Z and his new Darth Vader heavy breathing voice changing mask. Luke. I am your father.
If you’ve never seen a Star Wars movie, you’re going to be very lost. Poor you.
1. Things started out okay and once again, Mwelde Moore did a fine job replacing the injured Willie Parker. But with a final passer rating of negative babillionty, The Duke of Fug and the Earl of Gross was temporarily The Jedi Master of Suck and the Emperor of Interceptions.
Except he wasn’t fine. He did it four times. That’s the opposite of fine. That’s ruling over All Suck.
2. The defense wasn’t terrible, I guess. It could have been bigger and badder.
Git him, little Ewoks.
3. To say we got our asses smacked in the fourth quarter would be … well … about right.
In fact, we even were so gracious as to hold still for them while they did it.
4. We even let them in our huddle!
5. Troysus was so overcome by the ass-spanking that he spent some time doing his Darth Vader breathing exercises.
What? Darth Vader totally sounds like he’s saying cookie when he breathes.
Listen for it.
6. Greg Warren, our long snapper, got hurt and is out for the season, and he knew no shortage of choice words about it:
Who knew a long snapper was so verbose and so … vital?
7. Not until James Harrison launched a missile over Mitch Berger’s head, sending him scrambling after the errant ball.
Is he smiling there? Laugh it up, fuzzball.
8. It was a very crazy last quarter. But not as crazy as this conflicted guy:
The galaxy be damned. I just want a long snapper who doesn’t aim the ball for the Forest Moon of Endor.