Oh, LaMont.

Q: It’s almost November and I still see a lot of people — especially guys — wearing khaki pants. Aren’t those out of season now?

A: Basically, yes. Pittsburgh, with four distinct seasons, isn’t one of those tropical climates where you can wear khakis nonstop. Although we’ve had some recent Indian summer warmth, khaki pants should have been cleaned and packed away by early September at the latest. Like seersucker, khaki fabric is too lightweight to wear in cold weather. For those who don’t know what to replace it with when jeans won’t do, options range from wool blends and corduroy to moleskin and suede.

Thoughts:

1.  Yesterday, I saw an amazingly hot, tall, blonde chick walk down Fifth Avenue wearing gorgeous white pants with a black turtleneck and black boots.  I didn’t see a thing wrong with it.

2  I wore white pants with a black turtleneck and black do-me boots last week.  I didn’t see a thing wrong with it.

3.  I knew there was a Don’t Wear White After Labor Day Rule (which I ignore), but Don’t Wear Khakis After Labor Day?  Really?

4.  I hope you boys are scolding yourselves that you didn’t clean and pack your khakis away EARLY last month.  At. The. LATEST!

5.  Show of hands, gents.  How many of you were lost in your closets this morning, standing in your boxers, socks and a sweater while ripping out khaki after khaki all, “Honey?!  Where are my damned seersucker pants?!  Or my moleskins?  Or my sexy sexy suede pants?!  Is it too much to ask that I have at least my suede pants available to me?!  Those hos ain’t gonna pimp themselves out!”