Oh, LaMont.

Q: It’s almost November and I still see a lot of people — especially guys — wearing khaki pants. Aren’t those out of season now?

A: Basically, yes. Pittsburgh, with four distinct seasons, isn’t one of those tropical climates where you can wear khakis nonstop. Although we’ve had some recent Indian summer warmth, khaki pants should have been cleaned and packed away by early September at the latest. Like seersucker, khaki fabric is too lightweight to wear in cold weather. For those who don’t know what to replace it with when jeans won’t do, options range from wool blends and corduroy to moleskin and suede.

Thoughts:

1.  Yesterday, I saw an amazingly hot, tall, blonde chick walk down Fifth Avenue wearing gorgeous white pants with a black turtleneck and black boots.  I didn’t see a thing wrong with it.

2  I wore white pants with a black turtleneck and black do-me boots last week.  I didn’t see a thing wrong with it.

3.  I knew there was a Don’t Wear White After Labor Day Rule (which I ignore), but Don’t Wear Khakis After Labor Day?  Really?

4.  I hope you boys are scolding yourselves that you didn’t clean and pack your khakis away EARLY last month.  At. The. LATEST!

5.  Show of hands, gents.  How many of you were lost in your closets this morning, standing in your boxers, socks and a sweater while ripping out khaki after khaki all, “Honey?!  Where are my damned seersucker pants?!  Or my moleskins?  Or my sexy sexy suede pants?!  Is it too much to ask that I have at least my suede pants available to me?!  Those hos ain’t gonna pimp themselves out!”





77 Comments


  1. Monty
    October 29, 2008 3:45 pm

    I find that pleated pants provide significantly more room for my Schlong-tonio Holmes than flat front pants. And Pensgirl, giant dongs never go out of style.



  2. JP
    October 29, 2008 3:53 pm

    I am totally jeaolous of anybody who has a “crappy job” and does not have to wear a suit. My personal ‘picksburg’ fave is the denim vest hooded sweatshirt combo (Kiss or Ozzy iron on optional)



  3. Chris
    October 29, 2008 4:21 pm

    And Monty wins the internet. Game over. I quit.



  4. Sexy Jesus
    October 29, 2008 4:24 pm

    Was Pensgirl molested by pleats? I feel like she might break down Will Hunting style while PG holds her and says “It’s ok” over and over.



  5. Shibori
    October 29, 2008 4:38 pm

    For the record, moleskin isn’t a leather/suede thingy, it’s a heavy brushed cotton. Not that I think you should wear it, and not that I know where you’d find it. Plus, according to Wiki, moleskin is also “a flesh coloured piece of adhesive cloth used in filmmaking to cover up genitals in order to maintain propriety in non-explicit nude scenes”. Maybe that’s what LaMont is talking about? ‘Cause I can see his moleskin in that green shorts picture.



  6. Jagoff
    October 29, 2008 5:08 pm

    What are pleated pants?



  7. scottie
    October 29, 2008 5:21 pm

    Monty: But if you really do have a big schlong, you’d want to show it off in flat-fronts and not hide it behind your pleats. Let that puppy out to face the public. Besides, pleats make it look like you have a boner when you sit down. So, unless you are inclined to have boners while sitting in meetings at work, thus necessitating pleats, then flat fronts are the way to go.

    I only have pleats on my suit pants, and that’s cuz I can’t afford to go buy a new suit at the moment.



  8. Pensgirl
    October 29, 2008 5:36 pm

    My eyes are molested by pleated pants every time I see them.

    Jagoff, these are pleated pants (the pleat is just the part at the hip area where the fabric is folded over and stitched – the crease in the leg is a separate feature that is just fine). And these are flat-fronts.



  9. Pensgirl
    October 29, 2008 5:38 pm

    Oops, link breakage….flat fronts.



  10. unsatisfied
    October 29, 2008 5:53 pm

    scottie — the donkey omelettes need some room to hang. trust me when I say this — pleats all the way.



  11. missy
    October 29, 2008 6:03 pm

    What are all the Target and Walmart workers going to do now??????????



  12. Gunnlino
    October 29, 2008 6:23 pm

    LaMont is a made up person, Right?
    I mean he’s not really real, right?
    I mean if he really was real the Post Gazettes readership would be declining, right?
    He’s really like a ‘Toon out of the Jetsons, right?

    Yinz is puttin’ me on with this LaMont guy, right?



  13. Still A Fan
    October 29, 2008 7:10 pm

    Docker’s Premium Pleated and Cuffed. The best pants $65 can buy. I feel like I’m not wearing any pants when I wear them. They look good with slip ons, Clarks, Steve Maddens. “Nice Pants”



  14. Sooska
    October 29, 2008 8:58 pm

    men think they look good when they look sloppy. wear a jock big guy.



  15. NY Luvs Pitts
    October 29, 2008 9:11 pm

    Missy,
    My daughter works at Toys R Us and they wear khaki’s too. She once worked at Zaxby’s when she was in North Carolina and their uniforms included khaki’s also. What will all of the retail and restaurant workers do. Best Buy…Staples…the list goes on.



  16. Pingback: Bodies are for hookers and fat people « The World of Threes

  17. John
    October 30, 2008 8:38 am

    Maybe LaMont is really LaMont from Sanford and Son. He sure is a big dummy. Moleskin? Really? No, really? Suede? This guy either isn’t real or has never walked around the Burgh for more than 5 minutes.



  18. Three
    October 30, 2008 10:36 am

    Whoops! Sorry Pittgirl! Don’t know why my blog did that (leaving a reply here). Pardon my faux paus … I’m looking to find the problem to ensure it doesn’t happen again. Stupid drunk post-Futurama blogging.



  19. Brian
    October 30, 2008 11:05 am

    I rarely, rarely go to McDonald’s or any other fast-food restaurant, am in no way overweight by any means, and would wear no pants to work before I wore pleated pants. So I don’t think your physique has anything to do with it. And I DO have a good job. I think most people wearing pleated pants are 50 or older, and not that there’s anything wrong with that, but as for my own taste, no pleats ever. Ever.



  20. Sarah
    October 30, 2008 1:47 pm

    Back when I was in catholic school, I went through this rebellious phase where I refused to wear the stereotypical “catholic school skirt” and decided to wear the boy uniform pants.

    I thought I was so great, and that I was going to start a feminist revolution.

    And then I wore them to school and made the mistake of sitting down. And it DOES look like you have a boner. And those jerks never let me live it down.

    no pleats. EVER.



  21. Nathaniel
    October 30, 2008 4:40 pm

    I still see a lot of teenagers, fratbags and dudebros wearing their hats sideways, backwards and cockeyed. Can you tell me please, Mr. Creepy Baldheaded Shirtless Guy, haven’t those been out of season since last frickin decade?



  22. PittCheMBA
    October 30, 2008 5:33 pm

    PG, Thanks for not showing the lower half of Lamont’s body in his lime green swimwear.



  23. PittinDC
    October 30, 2008 10:56 pm

    Schlong-tonio Holmes might be the most hilarious thing I’ve ever read.



  24. scottie
    October 31, 2008 6:01 am

    PittGirl: avert your eyes.

    unsatisfied: don’t kid yourself. even people with big donkey omelets can be quite comfortable in well=fitting khakis. i am partial to j. crew or gap for comfortable khakis, don’t do dockers…they will shrink up in fear as soon as you so much as walk near a washing machine.



  25. Dan (Not Onarato)
    October 31, 2008 7:20 am

    Can we move forward with this conversation…for the love of all thats good and holy?

    Wear what you want when you want…



  26. toni
    October 31, 2008 8:35 am

    This is the best thread…..ever.