Did something … important happen last night or something?
Just kidding, you silly Burghers!
We have a new president-elect and as you know The Burgh Blog pretty much stays out of national politics because that is a volcano of angry burning bubbling fire that this virgin does not wish to fling herself into.
Just kidding, you silly Burghers!
So, truly, there’s no other way to say it. Half of you are sad and half of you are hungover from celebrating.
My mom and dad? Sadcakes.
Me? Of course I voted for one of them and I’m not telling you which one because remember we talked about the volcano just a minute ago? Hot.
My mother and father are not the type that vote based on race, so don’t even go there (Mom originally was going to vote Barack and Mom and Dad have both been involved in community racial reconciliation events over the years), but they are very educated constituents who have done their homework and believe in the Republican Party platform. There is nothing wrong with that, at all.
On Halloween evening, I was unfortunate enough to be stuck in the middle of a heated debate between a group of immediate and extended family members, a debate that Pens Fan of all people started when she threw a political verbal grenade into the middle of the room and then sat back and watched the war.
[shakes cute little fist at Pens Fan]
As the discussion became more heated, I interjected what I hoped was a preemptive strike against what was sure to be my parents’ great displeasure when Barack Obama won the office.
PittGirl: Mom. Listen. There are 60 million people that are going to vote for Barack Obama, not all 60 million of them are complete idiots with no grasp of economics. Therefore, you have to understand and believe that if he’s voted in, well, then there’s good in him. The same way you wouldn’t want all 60 million people that vote for McCain to be dismissed as radical, right wing nutjobs. Oh. Hey. Dad. (Just kidding, Daddy!)
Mom: Do you know this man’s policies? Have you read his economic plan?
PittGirl: Look. I’m not talking about politics here. I’m just saying don’t freak out. I believe in the Constitution. I believe in checks and balances. I don’t believe any one man will truly drive America to a point that America can’t recover. America survives wars, depressions, terrorism. Just take comfort in the Constitution. If he royally mucks it up as you fear he will, in two years America will fix it in Congress and in four years, America will fix it in the White House.
Mom: Bllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. [more about how I’m a Pollyanna and that this Pollyannaism is really starting to irk her.]
PittGirl: I’m NOT trying to argue with you here. I’m just trying to give you and Dad something hopeful and comforting to cling to come election day because Barack Obama is going to win and I just don’t want you two slitting your wrists on Tuesday night.
Mom? Dad?! OMG. Call 911.
Update: An email from Tina Fey:
Yo, PG. So, did mom and dad totally lose it last night? I want to know what Pens Fan said that got mom all twitterpated last week. D [Tina Fey’s 6-year-old adopted Mexican son] has been learning about the election in school, and he calls Barack Obama “Mr. Rock Obama.”
He thought it was cool that the new president is brown like him.
I’m betting mom drank herself into a stupor last night and if I call her this morning she’ll have a headache for some reason unknown to her. Ah, good times, people. Anyway, new day/new president.
UPDATE TWO: A new email from Tina Fey:
Yo, talked to mom this morning. She’s actually quite positive and said she did not drink herself into a stupor. However, she said that dad, who I had forgotten was visiting at Ohio Sister’s house, had apparently set up shop on her couch with two bottles of wine. So he’s probably in the stupor this morning.