Random n’at.

1. Yesterday I was walking by PNC Plaza or whatever that little square is called between the PNC Towers, and there were about 50 pigeons hanging out there.  Not moving.   Perfectly still.  With their necks scrunched down into their shoulders and their eyes half closed.  Every single one of them.  Like statues.

I can only assume they saw me first and were hoping I wouldn’t notice them there all quiet and still.

Either that or they were downloading new instructions from Satan.

2.  Did you guys watch the Pens last night?  Down 5-2 against Marian Hossa [spit] and the Red Wings?  Came back to win it 7-6 thanks to a raging, hat-tricking Jordan Staal?


Also, be sure to read the Pensblog’s write-up of the game.

They had me in hysterics on more than one occasion in that post.

Zigomanis wins it with ease back to Go-go, who gets it to Malkin.
Malkin with a blast. Even Jesus Christ doesn’t know where it’s at.
Jordan Staal does, making him better than Jesus. 6-6
Osgood, as expected, blames Jesus for the big goal.


3.  When did Halloween come to = slutty whores?

Good frickin’ question.

I’m sure most of the guys are answering it with, “Because God loves us.”

4.  My minions, I have seen the next PittGirl shirt.  I’m all tingly.  Soon.  Soon.  My butler is so best.

5.  The Roller Derby awards were held last week, and my girl ‘Snot Rocket Science, who you can catch in the match against Harrisburg on Nov. 22 and see what I’m talking about, took home lots of loot.

An email from Fonda Bruises:

Saturday was our year end banquet. Our girl ‘Snot needed a cart for all her awards. She won:

  • Highest Scoring Jammer
  • Most Inspirational
  • Best Hybrid (Pivot, Blocker, Jammer)
  • The Wrecking Dolls MVP

I told her I was going to take a photo of her to send to PittGirl. I asked her to make the most obnoxious face she could and this is it. She’s still adorable and the most amazing skater!


Here’s ‘Snot being silly.

And here’s ‘Snot being hot.

6.  Whoa!  Bob “I Heart Benny” Smizik was way harsh on The Duke today:

They lost their most recent game because they have an inordinate number of injuries on offense and because Roethlisberger failed to execute on two pass plays.

Do you kiss your mom with that mouth?  Take it easy on him!

7.  I don’t care how much you hate his guts, you have to admit.  Lukey made an ADORABLE baby.

I guess Erin had something to do with it, too.

(h/t Bram)


  1. Bob
    November 12, 2008 12:15 pm

    This is what I love about Smizik, he can contradict himself in consecutive columns. On Tuesday morning, Ben played a great game. On Wednesday morning, they lost because Ben failed to execute.

  2. jason
    November 12, 2008 12:23 pm

    the steelers game made me sick…again, plenty of blame to go around. on the plus side we can easily be 8-3 by thanksgiving.

  3. Summer
    November 12, 2008 12:55 pm

    I guess the word is out about you amongst the pigeons?

  4. Sooska
    November 12, 2008 12:56 pm

    #6 Didn’t Simzik just write a column saying despite those passes Duke was stellar? Has he been interviewing Asshat in a closed room? in an SUV?

    #2 Maybe Jordan Staal would step in and play QB. He’s on fire. He can do it all. (As long as he can still play for the Pens)

  5. dahcheet
    November 12, 2008 1:03 pm

    2) The Pens Rock, PensBlog Rocks, Staal = Ultimate Rock
    3) Because God loves us and sex sells
    5) I’m actually going to be in Pittsburgh that weekend for light up night and being from Harrisburg this would be a great derby to go to. If I go I may have to make a shirt that says “I <3 PittGirl” just to see if I get a reaction from anyone.
    6) Ugh. The Pens game last night helped me forget this game and now it’s all coming back to me

  6. Ravishing Rick
    November 12, 2008 1:12 pm

    I think the roller derby girl is PittGirl

  7. TK
    November 12, 2008 1:26 pm

    3. When did Halloween come to = slutty whores?

    When the blogger thought it was funny to dress up as a pregnant “fill-in-the-blank”. Other women thought it was funny and decided if they dressed as a slutty whore this year, maybe the next year they could dress up as a real pregnant “fill-in-the blank”.

  8. jagoff
    November 12, 2008 1:50 pm

    I had a dream last night that I found out who PittGirl was. Just thought I’d share that.

  9. Ravishing Rick
    November 12, 2008 1:58 pm

    Hey jagoff was it a wet dream or a nightmare

  10. Pensgirl
    November 12, 2008 2:12 pm

    2. Despite not having many points to show for it, Jordan’s been playing well for awhile…and last night it finally paid off in a big way. The thing a lot of his detractors fail to recognize is that when he scores, it’s almost always a big goal. The kid comes through in the clutch.

    3. I think the answer is that Halloween is the alcohol of holidays…by which I mean people use it as an excuse to do something they wanted to do anyway. If you either dress slutty all the time or have no inclination whatsoever to dress slutty, its being Halloween will make no difference – you’ll wear a costume that’s in line with your sensibilities. But if you really wish you could dress slutty but don’t do it because of inhibition or better judgment, Halloween becomes a permission slip.

  11. windy city steel city
    November 12, 2008 3:16 pm

    One of my best friend’s is from Defeat, er, Detroit. We had quite the text conflagration going on last night. My phone damn near vibrated off the table each time Hossa had an assist or when the Dead Things scored. It was uber-fun to deluge him with GOAL! after GOAL! after GOAL! [insert 4 more GOALS! here] when they were dahn 5-2. The extra kicker is that it is his b-day today. He received a virtual raspberry cake from me last night. pppfffhhhttt!

    May Hossa’s shirts all get lost at the Iggle dry cleaner. May he see Max Talbot in his waking nightmares and rearview mirror. May Ovchekin have an affair with his girlfriend or wife or both. May he have to stare at video billboards all day. May all his cocktails be subject to a drink tax. May he find a map to Heartacheville after the Wings fail to make the Stanley Cup. May he get short sheeted by the Hilton maid staff on Feb 8. And on and on and on….

  12. ic lion
    November 12, 2008 3:24 pm

    Can we upgrade ‘Snot to a Smoking Hot Burger? Cause I think I have a crush. . .

  13. bucdaddy
    November 12, 2008 3:33 pm

    3. Pictures? Pictures?

    No pictures? Bah.

  14. DW
    November 12, 2008 3:39 pm

    ic lion, i concur. I think ‘snot is, indeed, hot.

  15. PittinDC
    November 12, 2008 4:24 pm

    Looks like Benny boy got the hint that if he’s going to play, he needs to PRACTICE: http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3698466

  16. toni
    November 12, 2008 4:51 pm

    I think Smizak got a case of Pittgirl whiplash :P

  17. jagoff
    November 12, 2008 5:04 pm

    @Ravishing Rick

    It was neither. It turned out she was one of the Golden Girls. It was just a weird dream all around.

  18. Still A Fan
    November 12, 2008 7:55 pm


    pictures of slutty blogger?

  19. Ravishing Rick
    November 12, 2008 8:11 pm

    PittGirl as one of the Golden Girls “KinKy”

    Golden Girls Video

  20. Ravishing Rick
    November 12, 2008 8:16 pm

    PittGirl as one of the Golden Girls buying condoms


  21. PaulK
    November 12, 2008 9:04 pm

    Was it me, or did anyone else notice the cheering in Joe Louis arena when the Pens tied the game and sent it into overtime? Where are your jibes, your gambols now, oh Detroit? (h/t Shakespeare & David Conrad) Thank god for Staal, Satan and Fedotenko…criminy, how did we get the team with the coolest names?

    Although, I sometimes wonder what would happen if we ever had a Canadian player named “Versailles.” Would Steigey’s neural pathways explode trying to pronounce it correctly?

  22. Ravishing Rick
    November 12, 2008 9:17 pm

    The Miracle of Toilet Paper:

    Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror, complaining to my Husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically Telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

    “If you want your breast to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet Paper and rub it between your breast for a few seconds.”

    Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and I stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

    “How long will this take?” I ask.

    “They will grow larger over a period of years,” he replies.

    I stop and ask “Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts Every day will make my breasts larger over the years?”

    Without missing a beat he says, “Worked for your butt, didn’t it?”

    He is still alive, and with a great deal of physical therapy, he may even Walk again. Stupid, stupid man.

  23. NorthSide15212
    November 13, 2008 12:26 am

    What planet is Halloween blog chick from? Seriously. Women have been dressing up as whores for Halloween since the Pilgrims landed at Omaha Beach back in 1974, when soon after, M’ Lady Catherine opened up her Dry Goods and Sundries store, offering cured meats, pickled vegetables, and lace top thigh highs. . . and quarter draughts on Thursday nights.

  24. Bram R
    November 13, 2008 12:32 am

    1. Pigeons = In the Falun-Gong.
    2. Pennsblog = Okay.
    5. Rocket Science = Yes.

  25. ultraviolet
    November 13, 2008 9:17 am

    i will respond to #3 by quoting a movie written by the wonderful tina fey:
    1. Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.
    (c’mon, its f@&!ing halloween! anything goes! and pensgirl already said, maybe those who don’t usually dress that way want to try it out?)

    2. but you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it ok for guys to call you sluts and whores.
    (eh. such nasty hateful words. why is this still ok?)

  26. Dinkerwald
    November 13, 2008 9:37 am

    ULTRAVIOLET>>>>>Keep that #2 thought in mind the next time you talk about the presidential election with someone who does not agree with your view.

  27. ultraviolet
    November 13, 2008 9:44 am

    are you referring to a specific conversation or just making a general suggestion? cause i’m not sure what that has to do with my comment?

  28. Sofa King
    November 13, 2008 10:10 am

    I, for one, am a huge proponent of overt sluttiness on Halloween, and would like to see it carried over to other pseudo-holidays, such as Flag Day and Arbor Day.

  29. TBD
    November 13, 2008 10:32 am

    Sofa King for president!

  30. LaReina
    November 13, 2008 1:25 pm

    Snot: ‘s’not hot, mein Gott!

    Smizik’s pet caterpillars have fled the comfy zone above his eyes and burrowed into that part of the brain in which consistency resides.

  31. Matt H
    November 13, 2008 2:56 pm

    Thanks for the link. Being linked here yesterday gave me by biggest 1 day spike ever.

  32. Ravishing Rick
    November 13, 2008 8:32 pm

    Somebody was looking for a “Butter Marinade” for a turkey ? well here ya go
    makes me excitable