Skank + Skeeve = True Love Always

OMG.  It is snowing like crazy in the Burgh right now.  This is noteworthy because:

  • It has snowed, iced, sleeted, frizzled, or otherwise frozen precipitated every day for the last 65 days here in the Burgh.
  • I don’t believe the weather people told us this was going to happen.
  • We’re not all toasty and warm as we could be if we headed to Tampa to cheer for our boys.

Speaking of our boys, I’d like to share this picture with you that reader Diana sent saying:

My boyfriend and I were religious Burgh Blog readers, so when he found this pic he asked me to figure out a way to forward it to you, because no one could appreciate it more.  He confirms that the signature is in fact jeff reed’s and the tattoo…well I guess speaks for itself and for the 2% of women that find a crotch shot of skippy stretching to be hawt.

Thoughts:

1. I believe that the most attractive of women, the women you don’t forget — the unforgettable, are those women that conduct themselves with class, yet that have a witty, snarky side while also having a flirtatious, come-hither side.

Now I know that there is also another way to be unforgettable.

2.  We know that Jeff Skippy Skeeve Reed is the very personification of skeeviness.  The Grand Master of Raunch.  The Ruler of Smut.  The Most High Libertine of Lechery. So we can imagine how excited he must have been to find a woman whose skank rivaled his skeeve.

3.  If Skank married Skeeve would their children come out of the womb with pre-printed tramp stamps and teeny tiny nipple rings?  That’s a question for Science.

4.  Clearly, the tattoo needs to poop.

5.  It looks like the tattoo just pooped out a Steelers helmet.  Ouch.

6.  If I had to put a voice to that tattoo’s grimacing face, I think it would be like, “You want to get wit ‘dis, dontchu?  Nee-rwor.”

7.  I can guarantee that that tattoo has an STD.

8.  The smiley face.  It’s a nice touch, Skippy.  “My name is Jeff Reed, and I approved this message!”

9.  In 70 years, the people at the nursing home are going to be all, “Brianna, why do you have a dead armless horse tattooed on your ass?”





19 Comments

  1. TheJim
    January 30, 2009 10:55 am

    This is amazing. Seriously, amazing.



  2. rose
    January 30, 2009 11:03 am

    um…eyew.



  3. Wendielu
    January 30, 2009 11:05 am

    I’m…ah…speechless.

    Let me guess, she posted this on her MySpace page?

    Huh.



  4. hello haha narf
    January 30, 2009 11:06 am

    the chipped nailpolish adds another level of class…sheesh…



  5. Burgh Baby
    January 30, 2009 11:08 am

    Yeah. That is not suitable for work. Or humanity.

    Running for my spork stash now so I can gouge my eyes out . . .



  6. jo
    January 30, 2009 11:10 am

    My eyes! My eyes!



  7. Uncle Crappy
    January 30, 2009 11:13 am

    I’m guessing Woy doesn’t get a chance to review these before you post them. Am I right?



  8. Jane Pitt
    January 30, 2009 11:15 am

    Woy is going to KILL ME. If you don’t hear from me again, you’ll know I got in trouble with my butler.



  9. Magnus Patris
    January 30, 2009 11:24 am

    This just goes to show what happens when you take your food stamps to the local tattoo parlor. Unfortunately, that tattoo probably is not “unique”. Scene in tattoo parlor: “Hey Spike! We need you to do another #42 for dis chick; yea, the armless helmet pooper. Hey she’s got a 10% OFF coupon, too.”



  10. PittsburghTom
    January 30, 2009 11:59 am

    I kinda hope that Skeeve gets Super Bowl MVP just for the possibility of him turning that 5 seconds of national fame into his own vh-1 celebrity dating show. I’m thinking it’ll be called “Reeding Love” or “Love Kicks”.



  11. mis
    January 30, 2009 12:35 pm

    Thank you! I need that on this day where once again Verzyla, Cropper, and Bowman got it all wrong.



  12. Burghthing
    January 30, 2009 1:12 pm

    I’m thinking I should be thankful my work firewall filtered out the picture.



  13. Magnus Patris
    January 30, 2009 2:12 pm

    Hey PittGirl, will you have a “special edition” when the Pirates are in the World Series? Whoa, wait, you’ll be PittGran by then. Here’s hoping for a .500 season in the 21st century.



  14. MacDuffy
    January 30, 2009 2:33 pm

    After I get my breath back from laughing so hard…

    The tat…what else to say but “EW!” It sort of begs the question “Why?” and the comment, WTF was she thinking?



  15. lauren_hbg
    January 30, 2009 2:43 pm

    I’m so happy I decided to click on the Burgh Blog in my favorites that I refused to delete – I could just feel that you were still alive! Muhahaha!



  16. ChickLit
    January 30, 2009 5:03 pm

    Please don’t leave us again Pitt Girl! This has been the best week! Steelers going to the Super Bowl and your return…and not necessarily in that order-just saying!



  17. bucdaddy
    January 31, 2009 9:24 am

    “Please don’t leave us again Pitt Girl!”

    Seconded.

    Look, I think I have a stash of Zima in my garage, so maybe we can work something out?

    *Looks*

    Oh, wait, that was Sam Zima, guy I knew in college. Nevermind.



  18. Laurie
    February 2, 2009 10:29 am

    Anxiously awaiting your victory post!!



  19. Summer
    February 2, 2009 10:31 am

    I just wanna see a picture of Smoketonio with that perfect pass going right between his hands and the caption “oh shit,” cuz you know that’s what he was thinking.