Doors.

calvincape

Before I dive into this, let me first state that I know I’m disappointing many of you, and I’m truly sorry.

The you that emailed me and begged me not to reveal my identity because “PittGirl is a superhero and Pittsburgh needs its superhero.” No pressure there. Should I keep my ears peeled for women and children in peril?

The you that twittered that if I outed myself you would personally feed every pigeon in the universe. I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!

The you that was convinced I was a hot blond with giant boobs, oh my God, are YOU a sad panda today?

All of you that just didn’t want to know. I’m sorry. You must understand though that while it is fun for you to not know who I am, being anonymous is no longer any fun for me.

Anonymity is a lonely island where I sit with my computer doing what I love to do most in this world, write, except instead of just enjoying the lovely weather and the cool water lapping at my toes while I wait for David Conrad to cut down a coconut for me, I sit nervously, a bundle of agitation, glancing over my shoulder to be sure no one is watching me from behind, being careful to sign my emails with the right initial (JP not V! JP not V!), making sure over and over again that I’m logged into the Jane Pitt facebook account and not my real one, wondering if today is going to be the day someone figures it out and takes away any control I had over the situation.

It’s exhausting and nerve-wracking and after four years, Mike, my devoted butler and good friend, could hear it in my voice. I had enough.

I didn’t want to write with the weight of PittGirl on my shoulders anymore. “PittGirl” used to be a little flirty silhouette alighting on my shoulder to have a chat over muffins and coffee, but each day she got a little heavier and a little heavier until I was finally crushed under the weight of that fat she-cow. I told you muffins were fatty evil-doers!

Realizing I had enough, I had a few choices:

Door #1: I could keep writing as “PittGirl” understanding it is the dumbest-assest name I have ever heard. People, I CRINGE when I hear someone say PittGirl. Choosing door number 1 meant that I risked every day that someone would out me before I was ready.

Door #2: I could kill “PittGirl” (ME LOVE KILLING, GRR!) in a random pigeon attack, start from scratch under my real name, unbeknown to anyone, and work hard to rebuild an audience. Door number 2 can kiss my ass because it is a super sucky door with rusty, creaky hinges.

Door #3: Be proactive. Come out. Reveal myself. Let the shit hit the fan for a few days and then when it all dies down, figure out what comes next.

This is me, opening Door #3 and hoping there’s not a carrot-munching goat standing behind it taking a poop in some straw.

So let’s get this done, okay? I’m going to give you everything you wanted, not because I feel it is important or newsworthy, but because the more I give, the less digging will need to take place into my personal life. Make sense?

1. My name is Virginia Montanez. My friends and family call me Ginny, but you can continue to call me Your Majesty, because I’ve grown accustomed.

2. I am 35 years old and I hate it so so so so so much because God, I’m effin’ old and I have a Debbie Gibson Pandora station.

3. I work as the communications and marketing director at NEED and have done so for six years now. NEED is a 46-year-old college access program and we have interactions with the Mayor, his staff, UPMC, and other people and organizations that I have written about, and not always kindly. Right now, Yarone Zober is glaring at my picture, slamming his fist on his desk and screaming, “Destroy her!”

4. I have been married since I was 26-years-old when I married my husband David on the beaches of Cancun. David is Mexican. David is hot. David owns Las Velas Restaurant opening next month in Market Square. David understands that I have self-united husbands and he’s okay with that. David did not know I had a blog until over a year after I started it and I finally told him.

5. I have two children, a boy who is 6 and a girl who is 2. HOLY SHIT, PITTGIRL IS A MOM! Remember in December of 2006 when I indicated I would be away for two weeks so that Mike could work a bit on the blog template? Baby-birthing time. That sound you hear is of my former stalkers now running for the hills all, “SHE’S A MOOOOOM! Why, God? WHY?!”

6. I wrote extensively about my four sisters and I love them dearly. Would you like to meet them?

This is the oldest, Ta-Ta the Giant-Breasted Grand Poobah. Her name is Stacey and at her request I cropped her boobs out so that you’ll actually make eye-contact with her:

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This is Tina Fey, who I so named because of her kickass sense of humor and the fact that she used to wear glasses. Her name is Marcia:

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This is Ohio Sister, who always felt gypped in the fake name department. Her name is Terri but we shall call her Princess Aurora so as to make her feel better about her former dumb fake name:

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This is Terri’s twin sister Pens Fan, who named her dog Sidney. Her name is Tammy. She will leave her husband if your name is Sidney Crosby. True story.

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7. My sisters are all married and we all have two children apiece. We like even numbers. Anyone has one more baby and we’re giving it to Angelina Jolie to raise, assuming she is accepting white babies at the time.

8. This is my Dad. He’s a retired engineer and he’s also a minister. I KNOW! He’s sitting with my Mom. She’s a retired homemaker who loves to drag my dad on cruises and to trips to Punta Cana. She’s very good at spending money. They have been married for 40 years.

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10. This is me, thinking about stabbing a pigeon in Market Square:

pg4

So, WHAT NOW?!

What happens now is that the name PittGirl is no more. I am her. I will continue to write for Pittsburgh Magazine, writing the same things I always have in the same snarky fashion I always have, except now, under my real name and face. Nothing is changing but what you call me. Not PittGirl, but Your Majesty. You thought I was joking about that? My October column in Pittsburgh Magazine is about the Steelers and I wrote it two months ago and I haven’t changed a single word of it just because my real name is on it now. Check out the magazine’s site for Jonathan Wander’s piece on my reveal.

What happens now is that The Burgh Blog archives stay up here at That’s Church.

What happens now is That’s Church becomes my new outlet for the things I’ve been posting on Facebook since I quit in November. It’s my space to write the stuff I want, when I want without being edited. It’s my newest place to hang my keyboard and rant and write about all things Pittsburgh. I don’t yet know how often that will happen, so you’ll have to be patient with me as I figure that out. That’s Church is not becoming a mommy blog, not that there’s anything wrong with that. I haven’t ever written about my children and I don’t plan to start doing it here.

What happens now is I wait to see what doors close and what doors open. I have prepared myself to lose everything including readership and my job, because while those are valuable things to lose, gaining my freedom from Anonymity is worth so much more to me.

What happens now is if you see me, you come up to me, you say “Hi, Ginny!”, you tell me your name or your twitter name or your blog name so that I’ll know who you are, and you let me thank you for reading my stuff.

What happens now is you and I, we move forward (DING!).

What happens now is I keep writing and see where it takes me. I be unafraid to take risks, unafraid to step out of my comfort zone, and unafraid, if events warrant, to once again call Ben Roethlisberger a stupid, gift-wrapped bitch (gasp!).

And that, my friends, is church.





261 Comments


  1. President Pigeon
    August 20, 2009 12:52 pm

    Well..Well..Well.speaking on behalf of POP (pigeons of Pittsburgh)After years of abuse,we now have our target in sight.Your picture has been posted at all pigeon headquarters,we have brought in extra pigeons from other states,and we don’t need any stinking permits.Only if you declare your love of pigeons will our attacks be called off.Beware Pittgirl or Virginia or whatever your name is today..BE AWARE,BE VERY AWARE……



  2. NMSteve
    August 20, 2009 1:02 pm

    I just saw the video on KDKA. …

    I had no idea you worked THAT closely with Lukey. There are a few ways that I see him taking this.

    He could treat you like a real journalist. This is probably suitable because he now has a name and a face to send nasty-grams to.

    He could refuse to work with you and therefore cause your organization heartache.

    He can hire you as his press secretary. Which would make all the critical blogging about him that much more fun!



  3. Dan (Not Onarato)
    August 20, 2009 1:10 pm

    Many people have said this but “Welcome back Ginny” Im looking forward to reading the blog again!



  4. btezra
    August 20, 2009 1:22 pm

    good to see you back at writing, I’ve enjoyed reading along no matter what the URL is, here’s to quite a few good words to come and all teh best to you and your family



  5. Hawki
    August 20, 2009 1:28 pm

    You be the Judge.

    From the new blog:
    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v469/vmontanez/pg4.jpg

    From the current Pittsburgh Magazine: http://www.wqed.org/mag/features/0809/polamalu.jpg

    The face has been Photoshopped but the hair is a dead giveaway. I think we’ve been had.



  6. LostinFlorida
    August 20, 2009 1:50 pm

    Ginny – today is double great by 1)meeting you on-line and knowing there are regular doses of Pittsburgh wit back in the world and 2) being home in western PA for a long weekend! Thanks for keeping the ex-pats in touch with the ‘burgh!



  7. TheJim
    August 20, 2009 2:22 pm

    I’m very happy that you were able to make this transition and that you’ll be able to share your writing again with all of your fans who enjoy it so much.

    Also, I’d be remiss not to mention that you’re hot as hell.



  8. bucdaddy
    August 20, 2009 2:26 pm

    Hey, are those flip-flops you have on it that photo? It looks like you have flip-flops on. That means your feet are mostly bare, and they’re in grass, inches from a pigeon, and I surely don’t have to tell you what pigeons flip-flop onto grass (and statues, and windshields, and your head).

    Ugh.

    I was in love with you, but now I’m thinking you have some serious personal hygiene issues to work out before we self-unite. Soak your feet in Clorox for a few months and we’ll talk.



  9. Brian
    August 20, 2009 2:41 pm

    You’re absolutely beautiful.



  10. Leah
    August 20, 2009 2:44 pm

    I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad that you are back! When my sister told me I was so excited I didn’t know what to do! I don’t know how many African Americans follow your blog but you defnitley have a fan in my sister and I….I was just wondering what I was going to read the day after Steeler Games? Welcome back Ginny!



  11. BagitTagit
    August 20, 2009 2:58 pm

    Weird to have been in the same high school classes as PittGirl. Weirder to have no recollection whatsoever.

    My friend summed it up best: “Wow, so I used to carpool to kindergarten with Pittgirl…”

    I’m happy for you. To be honest, I’m just amazed there’s another person from NHT who knows how to use a computer.



  12. Marcy
    August 20, 2009 3:23 pm

    Just checked back here and was giggling at Matt’s comments about “Her Majesty.”

    a) it’s called irony, cookie: google it. Anyone who read the Burgh Blog in the past knows that Ginny is a natural-born writer who does what she does for the sheer love of it and is most likely not wearing a tiara at this moment, although she’s totally got the hair for it;
    b) folks are excited because Ginny’s writing has entertained us for a long time and we missed her observations and are happy to have the chance to read her work more often, in the less-filtered way in which we originally found it;
    c) posting “poke the bear” comments on someone else’s blog *will* drive some traffic to yours, but that’s just pigtail-pulling…



  13. Christina
    August 20, 2009 3:31 pm

    Oh, Bucdaddy. Still bringing the uncomfortably detailed and slightly creepy comments after all of this time.

    Welcome back to blogging, Ginny! You were missed, especially during a long, slow workday. Also, beautiful pictures. For your ‘coming out’, nice work choosing Kimberly Reed. I love her work.



  14. Pingback: The Sum of David » Blog Archive » Secrets!

  15. MountaineerHoo
    August 20, 2009 3:58 pm

    You absolutely made my day yesterday! Now I’ll never get anything done during my planning period at school…THANK YOU! Can’t wait to stay caught up with all things Burghalicious.



  16. Yinzer B
    August 20, 2009 4:00 pm

    Your husband is a lucky man. You are hilarious and gorgeous.



  17. Lori
    August 20, 2009 4:12 pm

    You have returned!! Just in time to entertain us with your commentary on Baby Cici Donna, Asshat, the giant freshly showered penis, Troysius and the beauty that is Daniel Sepulvada’s naked chest. Thank you for returning to us and please don’t change a thing about your writing. If you happen to offend a public figure or sports star along the way…meh…your readers will gather as an angry mob and defend your honor! You’re awesome – glad to meet you finally!



  18. Chuck
    August 20, 2009 4:32 pm

    Great to have you back! Your husband is a lucky man!



  19. Sesquipedalian Prose
    August 20, 2009 4:43 pm

    I think I have some Zema left over from when I poured one out for your dead (and now resurrected) blog.

    Wait…does that mean PittGirl is now a zombie?



  20. Bill From Hanover
    August 20, 2009 4:55 pm

    Welcome Back ! Your Majesty ……

    Being born and raised back in Carnegie and leaving 9 years ago, your past blog was so awesome to read and when you left, so did a part of Pittsburgh and your back !

    You have such a gifted talent with your creative writing and hopefully many, many doors will open for you in the future !

    Thanks …. :)



  21. Jackie
    August 20, 2009 5:19 pm

    YAY! You’re back! Loved reading your blog before, and will happily continue to do so. And yes, there is yet *another* NHT person who can use a computer!! :) Go Knights!!



  22. Cissy
    August 20, 2009 5:32 pm

    Welcome back! Now I can add your blog back into my daily routine of reading about the Burgh. Sure, I may feel more homesick but it is all good! Love the humor and snarkiness…very entertaining :) Glad you decided to grace the net with your presence once again….



  23. Dan (Not Onarato)
    August 20, 2009 5:48 pm

    Whats up with the twitter? No job? WTF?



  24. SportyGal85
    August 20, 2009 7:19 pm

    Welcome back, chick! I missed you mama! :) Just in time for football season.



  25. Judith K. Ginyard
    August 20, 2009 7:51 pm

    Thank you for your transparency, your writing and your integrity. I have the utmost respect for you; you have not lost a reader in me.



  26. mudbugs
    August 20, 2009 4:31 pm

    I HEART you, PG, (“Your Majesty”, if you insist)…I’ve had your page bookmarked for 2 years, and I always keep checking it daily to see when you would be back.

    Lost my job, then your blog went kaplooey. I don’t know which was worse. Now I can throw away the xanax.



  27. Toni
    August 20, 2009 4:49 pm

    As someone whose appreciative of Immaculate Receptions, Santa Claus, and fairies…I am in no way bothered by the out. What’s important is that YOU wanted the out. That’s all that counts.

    Glad your back in the blogsphere…and yeah, your still golden gf. Welcome home!



  28. Susan/TogetherWeFlourish
    August 20, 2009 5:15 pm

    Hi Ginny, I did not know PittGirl but I like your style. My thing is nonprofits. If you are looking for something to do while you figure out what to do :-) there are lots of nonprofits that need volunteers with your kind of talent. Having said that, I seriously doubt that there will be much lag time for you between jobs.

    Wishing you well with your bright new future!
    By the way, my Twitter handle is @TogetherWF



  29. Janet
    August 20, 2009 6:12 pm

    Grow up! If you hate Pittsburgh, no one is forcing you to stay. If anyone needs “punted”, it is definitely not the pigeons.



  30. Michael
    August 20, 2009 6:52 pm

    Ginny, WELCOME BACK!

    You’ve been sorely missed. Coming out doesn’t change a thing. I too have been checking the bookmark, wishing, hoping you’d come back. The hubby and the kids are great! All the more to write about. Love the fact that you’re a hot brunette! As my wife will attest, that’s right up my alley. BTW, she’s a hot brunette as well.

    Perfect timing on your part too. Steelers season soon, Pens right after that, even the Buccos of Suckitude still sucking!

    The only thing disappointing is no front page blurbs on the local fish wraps on your triumphant return! Especially when it was such big news when you left us. I smell a beatdown coming.



  31. jessica
    August 20, 2009 8:02 pm

    WOW! Pittgirl your a real waste
    this is the stupiest thing ive ever read
    im pissed the new wasted time telling everyone you revealed your self. why would you pretend like your Pittsburghs superhero, your far from it
    and the whole killin peigons thing is a little weird but i guess i just think that cause i dont fantasize about you



  32. jessica
    August 20, 2009 8:04 pm

    i feel for Janet 4 comments up, get the fuck out if you dont like it hear! i love everything about it.



  33. Summer
    August 20, 2009 11:33 pm

    This whole blog is about how much she loves Pittsburgh. Reading comprehension: Get some.



  34. Matt H
    August 20, 2009 11:55 pm

    I love the anon blowhards who try to call me out.



  35. apostles03
    August 21, 2009 3:26 am

    You are just as I pictured you. I believe we may have had significant eye contact.

    No, not really. I just wanted to sound creepy. Welcome back!



  36. Pingback: PittGirl: A Lesson in Anonymity, Paranoia and What’s Wrong With America / Justin Kownacki

  37. beep
    August 21, 2009 10:46 am

    bet everyone at your old job AND the mayor is watching your blog now.

    just as they did ‘then’….



  38. blowhard
    August 21, 2009 11:12 am

    Matt – They did call you out beacuse you are a tool. I especially enjoyed your “expose” on pittgirl on your worthless blog. Talk about jumping on the band wagon.

    Did your losing campaign that you ran for Coghill not teach you a thing?



  39. Jtown
    August 21, 2009 11:29 am

    Wow..

    I always put PittGirls face on 7-deuce off suit, and she was holding Ace-Queen!

    Nice



  40. Julie @ Wearing Mascara
    August 21, 2009 12:06 pm

    Hi Ginny!

    So, I just found your blog this week (shocking?! yes). I WISH I found it way earlier. However, you have a new reader and a new neighbor. I am moving to Pittsburgh on Friday from DC (Oh and I was born and raised in Pittsburgh). DC blogger to Pitt blogger… I’m very excited and your blog is making me excited! You are exceptionally brave and I look forward to reading more!

    Julie



  41. wearethebees
    August 21, 2009 1:14 pm

    I hate blogs and I hate twitter and facebook even more, but YOU are amazing, brave, beautiful and HILARIOUS! I am so happy you got fired, because I never would have known about your blog if I hadn’t read about it on CNN!



  42. Adam 2
    August 21, 2009 1:38 pm

    Wow…you do not look 35, with two kids. You are a very beautiful woman. Good for David!



  43. Beanie
    August 21, 2009 4:11 pm

    Saw the article on CNN.com, thought I’d swing over.

    You’re funny! I like it.

    The post about the bus running over the burger eating pigeon cracked me up. “Maybe I should lift my hands to make it more fun.” I quite literally snarfed my soda.

    LOVE IT.



  44. M0
    August 21, 2009 5:15 pm

    Nice.Great. Finally.



  45. Jeff in Jacksonville Florida
    August 21, 2009 5:18 pm

    Hey I saw your story on CNN. I thought it was interesting, because I host my own political blog.

    I think you were fired because you have “too much” opinion. Some employers don’t like people who do too much thinking on their own, if you know what I mean.

    I’m sure that you were amazed by the firing, but at the same time relieved, because sometimes an undeserved firing is a good thing.

    Anyway Good Luck, and tell me what you think of my site. I have to figure out how to do more with the look of it. Right now it’s similar to the default page that came with the blog engine I’m using… I hate PHP!



  46. Brian
    August 21, 2009 6:11 pm

    Hey — caught your story on CNN. Had to give a shout out to you — great to hear about a Sassy Burgh Chick. I’m in Orlando now and I so miss the three rivers. Love your posts and look forward to many more.

    B.

    P.S. Smart, sassy and HOT, too! I’m surprised those pigeons don’t just melt when you walk by.



  47. Tardo Domingo
    August 21, 2009 6:17 pm

    Dang, yer hawt.



  48. mathblows
    August 21, 2009 6:43 pm

    “Matt H Says:
    I love the anon blowhards who try to call me out.”

    What I love is that the last 2 post on your blog, that no one reads BTW, are about pittgirl. The sheer jealousy that you must feel is intense. The fact that you have tried and tried to “make it” as a blogger, a political operative and a campaign manger and have failed at everything you do make it that much more obvious. Heck, you could not even hold a job at the HACP, you had to quit to personify your “rebel” image. Whatever that is??? In addition, the absolutely hilarious pictures that continue to be passed around behind your back make you look like even the bigger tool. You are not going to tear her down, I don’t even know why you try.

    Oh wait, I know. Because you have failed at everything you have done.



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  50. John F
    August 21, 2009 7:17 pm

    Just hang in there my dear. Shit happens. There is a reason for it, we may not know what it is at the time or why it happens, but there is a reason. Peace!