What better way to get things back to normal than a good old fashioned Random N’at post?
1. I have drafted my team for the Yinz Team Fantasy Football challenge this year, and in an epic burst of questionable judgment, I drafted a kicker by the name of Jeff Reed. You may also know him as Skippy Skeeve. Fairy Princess. Foul Dwarf. Foul Fairy Princess Dwarf.
The name of my team?
With Kurt Warner leading my team and hitting Larry Fitzgerald, Domenik Hixon and Jeremy Shockey, combined with the #1-ranked Steelers defense and the poster boy for douchebags everywhere, I am clearly going to dominate the league this year.
Or at the very least, disease it.
2. My @janepitt twitter account is up for best twitterer in the Burgh. I can’t fathom a best twitterer in the Burgh contest that doesn’t have either @cranberryperson or @texburgher in the lead, but if you’re so inclined to vote, by all means have at it. Because I like to win. At everything.
You should see me play a game of Uno.
“DRAW FOUR, LOSER!”
Also, kids cry easily.
3. Yesterday at Wal-Mart (DON’T YOU JUDGE ME! I’M UNEMPLOYED!) I saw a little old lady shuffling out of the store in a flower-printed house dress, blue hair, beaded costume jewelry, tan hospital shoes, and a leather Steelers purse.
I wanted to hug her.
4. Here’s a shocking breaking news headline from the P-G:
I bet if you scroll down you’ll see headlines like “The sky is partly cloudy” or “Luke Ravenstahl presents proclamation to random famous person” or “Pirates lose, remain upbeat.” SHOCKING!
5. Lots of people want to know where I got my t-shirt in my “About” photo. It is called “Pigeons are rats with wings” (That’s church) and you can get it here. And I just noticed that they are almost completely sold out. Whoops.
6. More fun hate mail!
This wacko should be kissing pigeons’ cloacas. She OWES her livelihood to the birds!
I have no idea what a “cloaca” is and I’m not looking it up because it sounds dirty. Like bajingo.
And I don’t want the mental image of me kissing a pigeon’s bajingo burned into my brain.
Oh, DAMN IT!