These are gold, I tell you! GOLD!
you big phony. you outed yourself by PURE accident. Only a coward would choose to attack a flock of defenseless pigeons. By the way did you know pigeons mate for life? They’re very good parents too. Can you measure up to that? I thought not.
1. You’re right! I will never forgive myself for falling into the frame of a news camera at the exact second I blurted out “I’m PittGirl!” And I’ll never forgive myself for accidentally writing a thousand-word post telling the city who I am while accidentally uploading attractive shots of my sisters and my parents. I’m such a clumsy dolt! Damn you, easy to hit “Publish” button! Damn you!
2. Would you feel better if I arm the flock of pigeons before I attack them? Tiny little cap guns? Poison tipped arrows? Or are their sharp pointy beaks and smelly, poop-loaded cloacas enough weaponry for you?
3. They mate for life?! Yes, they’re better than me, what with all the whoring around I do.
4. Yeah?! Can a pigeon employ such effective reverse-psychology on her child that said baby pigeon enthusiastically begs to be allowed to dust the furniture and wash the windows?!
I thought not.