What the Effie.

I’m trying to be nicer, I really am — trying not to pick on oddballs seeking love on Craigslist too much, because as my friend is fond of saying, “Every pot has its lid.”

But still, some odd pots go about seeking their odd lids in odd fashion:

whattheeffie

Now, it’s perfectly normal to want a girl that likes Harry Potter — there’s LOTS of awesome girls that like Harry Potter, and it’s perfect normal to be “nerdy” because some of the most awesome people I have ever known consider themselves “nerdy.”

But can we talk about this “talking deeply about Godzilla or Dinosaur Robots”?

Here’s how I imagine that conversation goes in some dark coffeehouse in Pittsburgh:

WTEFFIE: You can’t argue that when Godzilla stomped the little Japanese man playing an American tourist, it was allegorical to how the Japanese have taken over Americans in science and technology.

WTEFFIE’s Date: I CAN argue that. How can you not see that after Godzilla stomped the man, he then picked up Tokyo’s largest tower and threw it into the ocean.  GODZILLA  BELIEVES THE AMERICANS WILL EVENTUALLY CATCH BACK UP!

WTEFFIE: HOW? You tell me, how will the Americans catch up?  WE HAVEN”T EVEN INVENTED INTELLIGENT DINOSAUR ROBOTS YET!

WTEFFIE’s Date:  This date is over. Get your bicycle and take me home.





18 Comments

  1. wshicldtel
    September 3, 2009 2:49 pm

    OMG I am laughing so loud someone came and closed my office door!!!!! LMAO



  2. Deirdre
    September 3, 2009 3:05 pm

    HILARIOUS….thank you for starting your blog again. Recent days have been downers….your writing puts a smile on my face-everyday! THANKS!!!



  3. Belle
    September 3, 2009 3:09 pm

    “awesome future prospects” baaaaahahahah
    don’t we all?



  4. 7000th Nerd Girl
    September 3, 2009 3:13 pm

    If they’re a little bit joking about that, then that’s cute. Mock serious debates about stupid things can be great fun, and nerds who don’t take themselves too seriously could make it into an Olympic sport.

    “Kinda picky” weirds me out more than the dissertations on dinosaur robots part. “Kinda picky” in nerddom can translate to “Women who aren’t made of plastic confuse and terrify me.” On the other hand, it can also mean “I am tired of girls who are obsessed with gay sex and could beat me up.” If it’s neither, then go, team.



  5. Jason Mosley
    September 3, 2009 3:20 pm

    I love that you use assume “WTEFFIE” is a hipster and would pick up his date on a bike.

    Or you could be assuming that he is to young to drive. hmm…



  6. L-A
    September 3, 2009 3:21 pm

    If he were a true nerd, he’d have said, “Don’t take it personalLY.” Ugh, I have an absolute disdain for people who say things like, “Hermione and Ron wouldn’t have treated Harry any DIFFERENT had he not been the Chosen One” or “I want a new Firebolt so BAD.” Is it that difficult to attach an “ly” at the end of a word? omigod. i’m this dude’s dream girl. effffffff.



  7. bluzdude
    September 3, 2009 3:45 pm

    “I think that you’ll find that history shows again and again, you see, that nature points up the folly of men.”

    (“Oh no, there goes Tokyo…”)



  8. Ant_041
    September 3, 2009 3:48 pm

    LMAO at “Get your bicycle and take me home”



  9. Jagoff
    September 3, 2009 4:32 pm

    First off, we are on the verge of inventing a super intelligent dinosaur robot that can easily take on Godzilla and possibly even Mechagodzilla if need be. Second off, I have a sweet job and thus, a car.
    Oh shit, I just outed myself!



  10. Kevin in ABQ
    September 3, 2009 4:53 pm

    My son established a friendship with a young lady with a common nerdy interest – namely, Star Wars.

    Then again, he and his friend are both FIVE YEARS OLD.

    Perhaps picky dude needs to get off of Craigslist, put down the XBox and MEET PEOPLE. Physically.



  11. Silica
    September 3, 2009 5:05 pm

    I love Harry Potter, but if I ever placed a “want ad” for a partner, it would not be the first thing listed. Or even listed at all. Interest in books might be.

    I find the “kinda picky” thing obnoxious and creepy. That goes without saying – hopefully you’re looking for a few special people or one special person, as that’s the point of ads that aren’t for orgies.



  12. Pittsburgh Tom (now back in da burgh)
    September 3, 2009 5:44 pm

    Americans wouldn`t invent a giant robot dinosaur. That`s Japan`s thing.
    Americans would create a giant ape, either real or robotic, to take on any of Japan`s Godzillas.



  13. Still A. Fan
    September 3, 2009 6:22 pm

    analogous….allegorical….analogous…allegorical….DAMN! which to use?



  14. Pa-pop
    September 3, 2009 10:03 pm

    Harry Potter, a WTEFFIE with awesome future prospects, and a girl transfixed by the zen of dinosaur robots: sounds like the perfect Hogwarts menage a trois to me. It really gets complicated, though, when Mothra and Robot Chicken enter the picture.



  15. Scottie
    September 3, 2009 11:01 pm

    If shrinks were smart, they’d start trolling Craigslist looking for new clients.

    Seriously, we have to be careful. We don’t want these kids shooting up an aerobics class because they can’t understand why they can’t get laid. We need to get them counseling and socially-acceptable hobbies.



  16. bucdaddy
    September 4, 2009 12:58 am

    Mothra.

    Fin.



  17. Pittsburgh girl
    September 4, 2009 7:40 am

    CL personal ads can provide hours of entertainment, I love it. although maybe I’m single because I make fun of people just trying to find love. karma?



  18. Erica
    September 4, 2009 2:18 pm

    I love the random “I like cats more than dogs.” So, if he found a smokin’ hot Harry Potter-Godzilla- Dinosaur-Robot-Lovin’ chick, but she also had a dog, he’d be all “Sorry, Ms. Smokin’ Hot Nerdalicious, but no thanks. Like I said in my advert, I’m kinda picky.”