Almost paradise.

Here’s something I learned in The Feed on Pig Cross (pronounced pee-gee-plus).  Iron City has a new ad campaign for this year’s run to the Super Bowl.  First let me show it to you:


I want to give you a peek into my very weird brain by explaining to you what I thought when I saw this ad.

“OMG, that’s a total take on that song Almost paradise/we’re knocking on heaven’s door/almost paradise/how could we ask for more that they used to play on Guiding Light in the 80s whenever Beth and Lujack would have a romantic scene, like the time they were like on that island or whatever, and there was that white horse and they rode it down the beach without a saddle, which, OUCH!, and it was all slow-motiony and stuff and you would sit there watching it with a lump in your throat, a tightness in your chest, and a single tear on your cheek, and then it would cut to commercial for something like AquaNet or the McDLT and you would be all, ‘Beth and Lujack. True love 4-ever.'”

It wasn’t until I read the rest of The Feed that I learned that Bob Dylan has a song called “Knocking on Heaven’s Door” and I realized, man, I am a BAD AMERICAN!

Of course, I didn’t know Faith Hill’s song “Piece of My Heart” was a Janis Joplin tune.

But whatever, we’re totally winning the Super Bowl again this year and Marian Hossa can suck it.



  1. unsatisfied
    September 5, 2009 12:42 pm

    interesting ad, iron city.

    how ’bout you reallocate that ad money and use it to 1) pay your water bill and 2) make a freakin’ decent beer for once?

    as for the tunes….

    “piece of my heart” — the original was erma franklin, not janis. janis takes it higher, though. and, faith hill did a version??? she’s great to look at — but, I just listened to it on itunes. I mean, REALLY???? I’d rather listen to sammy hagar’s version (yes, he did it, too….).

    “knockin’ on heaven’s door” — the only GNR version worth listening to is the bootleg version from japan that ‘DVE used to play before (I think) they were told to stop it. WAY better than the studio version. but, the original beats them both down. you go, bob.

  2. bucdaddy
    September 5, 2009 11:39 pm

    I can’t even watch CSI: NY because that Melina Kanak.. Kanarda.. Kardashakanredes …AH! the Greek chick.

    Pittsburgh educated Greek chick. PPU.

  3. bucdaddy
    September 5, 2009 11:39 pm

    Unless the name you were reaching for was “Kardashian.”

  4. spoon
    September 6, 2009 12:01 am

    When I heard there was a Kardashian porn tape the first thing I thought was “i bet you bucdaddy already has it downloaded or he bought it off a hobo on 5th and Forbes”

  5. Lisa
    September 6, 2009 7:02 am

    Sorry, kids, but Dylan is the master. The GNR version doesn’t even come close. As for the Loverboy song, yikes. Has anyone seen that lead singer lately? Don’t think he’ll be wearing those red leather pants anytime soon.

  6. bucdaddy
    September 7, 2009 11:38 am

    spoon, Don’t buy ANYTHING off that guy, he used to have good stuff but now he just rips you off, man. Srsly. Third-rate garbage shot with girls from Point Park, makes “Girls Gone Wild” look like high art. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

    Now I get all my good porn from the sax player on the bridge after ballgames. You think he’s there because he can actually play? Man, guy plays THAT bad is fronting. Telling you, he runs a porn empire out of that horn. But you gotta know the password. It’s … nah, I really shouldn’t tell you. I don’t want to get cut off.

  7. lisa
    September 9, 2009 10:49 am

    I’m a little late on this comment, but let me tell you that I heard the lyrics to “Almost Paradise,” too… but my mind did not take me back to Beth and Lujack until I read your blog. And now, I can’t stop seeing them riding horseback down the beach. I’m pretty sure that image will stick with me this season.. and I will laugh every time I hear this slogan now!