Almost paradise.

Here’s something I learned in The Feed on Pig Cross (pronounced pee-gee-plus).  Iron City has a new ad campaign for this year’s run to the Super Bowl.  First let me show it to you:

sevenheaven

I want to give you a peek into my very weird brain by explaining to you what I thought when I saw this ad.

“OMG, that’s a total take on that song Almost paradise/we’re knocking on heaven’s door/almost paradise/how could we ask for more that they used to play on Guiding Light in the 80s whenever Beth and Lujack would have a romantic scene, like the time they were like on that island or whatever, and there was that white horse and they rode it down the beach without a saddle, which, OUCH!, and it was all slow-motiony and stuff and you would sit there watching it with a lump in your throat, a tightness in your chest, and a single tear on your cheek, and then it would cut to commercial for something like AquaNet or the McDLT and you would be all, ‘Beth and Lujack. True love 4-ever.'”

It wasn’t until I read the rest of The Feed that I learned that Bob Dylan has a song called “Knocking on Heaven’s Door” and I realized, man, I am a BAD AMERICAN!

Of course, I didn’t know Faith Hill’s song “Piece of My Heart” was a Janis Joplin tune.

But whatever, we’re totally winning the Super Bowl again this year and Marian Hossa can suck it.

What?





57 Comments


  1. Scott
    September 4, 2009 9:11 am

    Dude…have a cup of coffee.



  2. Shannon
    September 4, 2009 9:15 am

    That small glimpse into your mind was mildly scary…but I loved it. :-)



  3. burgerboy47
    September 4, 2009 9:22 am

    I automatically heard the GNR song. I suggest that IC hire Axle Rose to kick a pigeon right thru the goal posts for the Season Opener.



  4. Jim
    September 4, 2009 9:30 am

    I’m guessing WDVE is not on your radio presets. :)



  5. LisaC
    September 4, 2009 9:31 am

    I heard GNR too!



  6. Greg
    September 4, 2009 9:32 am

    Being more of a 70s type, I like this one better:

    “Stairway to Seven”



  7. Silica
    September 4, 2009 9:34 am

    I’m with Greg. I love “Stairway to Seven.”



  8. Monty
    September 4, 2009 9:42 am

    How about we change the words “IC Light” in the picture to “Hopefully Andrea McNulty is done…”



  9. CityMama
    September 4, 2009 9:45 am

    Thank you for the flashback! I had forgotten about Lujack and how much I wished I was Beth, back in the day.



  10. PSUmama
    September 4, 2009 10:02 am

    I must have been too little for Lujack. I remember Beth with Phillip Spaulding. I do remember Beth’s dad being a drunk and hitting her. And didn’t Lujack have a lost twin brother in the 90’s… what was his name?

    Almost Paradise… oooh Kevin Bacon in Footloose.

    But ya. Bob Dylan. Then Eric Clapton. And GnR. I like Clapton’s the best.



  11. john
    September 4, 2009 10:04 am

    7 …#7 Big ben….get it?!?!? Remember when they lived in the subway..how cool was that??



  12. chrys
    September 4, 2009 10:06 am

    LMAO!! I instantly heard Axel Rose in my head too.. :D



  13. john
    September 4, 2009 10:06 am

    like your standing on his patio and you cant decide to knock on 7s door first and then light the bag of poo…or light the poo and then knock??? Hard choices ..hard choices..



  14. Pensgirl
    September 4, 2009 10:08 am

    1. I thought of GNR first too, and I never even liked them.

    2. Hellooooo, “Almost Paradise” is a Footloose song!

    3. I’m appalled that in 35 years nobody bothered introducing you to the original “Piece of my Heart,” which is nothing short of a masterpiece (guess I should go thank my parents for doing right by me on that one). But even more appalling is the actual cover by Faith Hill, in which she channels all of the emotion of Ben Stein. It’s perfectly wretched. I have nothing against her in general, but she had no business even attempting that. She doesn’t have the soul for it. Please, please, please get thee to Grooveshark and listen to the original. You’ll be glad you did.



  15. spoon
    September 4, 2009 10:08 am

    aight i’m odd man out. I thought Dylan.

    You know alien ant farm didnt originally sing Smooth Criminal and Limp Bizkit ripped Faith off George Michael right?



  16. Marcy
    September 4, 2009 10:15 am

    I thought GNR also. And siiiiiiigh, Beth and Lujack. How I pined away for him, the bad boy in deep emotional pain…thanks, Guiding Light, for leading me to believe that a prince lurked in the heart of every criminal!



  17. rickh
    September 4, 2009 10:19 am

    I thought of Dylan too. Not sure of the song you’re referring to Ginny (jin-ee) but it seems that’s a good thing.

    @spoon, Alien Ant Farm did it better than the original, doncha think?



  18. mudbugs
    September 4, 2009 10:22 am

    I heard Dylan. I’m old.



  19. Emilie
    September 4, 2009 10:34 am

    Guiding Light reminds me of so many good things – my grandparents would watch my brother and I all the time and GL was their favorite soap opera. The mention of Beth and Lujack makes me smile because I totally would watch it with my grandma and it would be our topic of conversation for the day – what’s going to happen on today’s episode. I also credit my grandparents with my love of Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.

    Happy memories – thanks for taking me there…



  20. Martin Silenus
    September 4, 2009 10:44 am

    I thought Dylan, but heard GNR. Guess that just means I’m confused.



  21. Sofa King
    September 4, 2009 10:57 am

    I just love how IC Light is doing everything it can to capitalize on the Steelers’ success…short of actually paying the licensing fees to use the team’s logos & likenesses, etc.

    Crafty bastards…



  22. Sooska
    September 4, 2009 10:59 am

    and Hilary freakin’ Duff did “My Generation”

    @#$^%&^*(



  23. Scott R Priester
    September 4, 2009 11:01 am

    It wasn’t until I read the rest of The Feed that I learned that Bob Dylan has a song called “Knocking on Heaven’s Door” and I realized, man, I am a BAD AMERICAN!

    Of course, I didn’t know Faith Hill’s song “Piece of My Heart” was a Janis Joplin tune.

    Sad



  24. Belle
    September 4, 2009 11:10 am

    My sister, Nel, was very very unaware of the Faith Hill song originally being Janis Joplin’s. You’re brave to admit it… she endured a weekend of being made fun of after that!



  25. Pa-pop
    September 4, 2009 11:11 am

    Thanks for the scoop from Pig Cross. Having grown up in an Arn City household, I can appreciate the heritage of the product. However, I wonder if Pittsburgh Brewing would consider broadening their market reach by creating a logo in which the football un-coincidentally resembled Stewie Griffin?

    Also, I’m old. Too damn old. I remember when Guiding Light was a 15-minute serial after it made the transition from radio, following Jo Tate & Search for Tomorrow and Curly Burns with the Noon News. May Papa Bauer rest in peace. Now, where are my Lawrence Welk tapes?



  26. Still A Fan
    September 4, 2009 11:15 am

    Didn’t deep purple do it too?

    Ginny, Puffy didn’t write the backbeat or hooks for I’ll Be Watching You.



  27. Still A Fan
    September 4, 2009 11:17 am

    Didn’t deep purple do it too?

    Ginny, Puffy didn’t write the backbeat or hooks for I’ll Be Watching You.

    I was more Luke and Laura and Rise by Chuck Mangione. Go look it up youngsters.



  28. bluzdude
    September 4, 2009 11:27 am

    1. Piece of my Heart… You have to hear the Janis Joplin original. You can actually hear the pieces of her heart coming off. She sings it like she means it. Ups to Pensgirl, who I’m sure knows what I mean.

    2. Heaven’s Door… I go to a version that hasn’t yet been mentioned. Warren Zevon recorded this song (and the entire album “The Wind”) while he was dying of cancer. You want to talk “poignant? The man was living that song. Most people know Zevon as the guy that did Werewolves of London, but he also recoreded about a dozen other albums. The Wind may have been his best.

    3. Guiding Light… I never watched soaps except for one summer when I was on summer break from college. Between jobs and bored out of my mind, I sat down with my little sister and her middle-school neighborhood friends for a moment or two and began asking, “who’s that?” “Are they together?” “Why doesn’t he like her?”

    Next thing I know, there I am, every afternoon at 3:00, sitting with a bunch of little girls and saying, “Ooooh, I can’t BELIEVE she just said that to him!”



  29. Cathy
    September 4, 2009 11:38 am

    Very interesting look into your mind…. a lot like mine…

    Anyway I think it should be pointed out the Iron City ( our hometown beer) has left town and should be scorned by Pittsburgh because they took away jobs and some of our pride that we had one of the oldest breweries in the country. :-(



  30. jennviolet
    September 4, 2009 11:48 am

    If you think your thoughts were weird, mine are just down right x-rated. I was looking at the shape and position of the objects. Wink, wink.
    Beth hooked up with all those Spauldings. @PSUmama, I think his twin was Nick? I only began watching after Reva drove off the bridge.



  31. Magnus Patris
    September 4, 2009 11:51 am

    You do realize that phones used to have this little dial thingy you stuck your finger in and that and that TVs used to have a knob on them to turn the channel (all 12 of them, although you’d be lucky to get 4 of them)!



  32. john
    September 4, 2009 11:55 am

    “If you think your thoughts were weird, mine are just down right x-rated. I was looking at the shape and position of the objects. Wink, wink”

    Jennviolet, Are you free for dinner??



  33. Andrea
    September 4, 2009 12:04 pm

    Thank you, 31. Jennviolet!! That’s a totally phallic logo, which is fine by me…

    My middle-school-aged daughter goes to a Christian school, where her art teacher has the kids researching flowers as painted by great artists, including Georgia O’Keefe. My daughter’s looking up paintings online and turns to me and says, while gesturing toward her nether regions, “Does my teacher realize what all this stuff looks like?” I told her — Nothing wrong with the artist — that’s what Nature, or Nature’s God, intended it to look like.

    So, you know, why shouldn’t a beer bottle and a couple of helmets? I’ll drink (something other than Arn City) to that!



  34. Kayla
    September 4, 2009 12:14 pm

    Wait, wasn’t Kevin Bacon on GL back in the day??? I think my mind is blown.



  35. Wckdcll
    September 4, 2009 12:17 pm

    OMG, I totally remember Guiding Light! Yay, it was on at 3 when I got home from school….

    But….little diappointed Ginny, Janis Joplin and Bob Dylan?? Gotta give you a FAIL on that one!

    Still the greatest tho Ginny!!!



  36. Jmat
    September 4, 2009 12:20 pm

    Ginny, you’re scaring me.



  37. Tinare
    September 4, 2009 12:29 pm

    I count myself fortunate that I did not know that Faith Hill had redone “Piece of My Heart.” I can only imagine that the soul has totally been ripped out of that song. Not that there’s anything wrong with Faith Hill, but she just does not have the chops to cover Joplin. Very few, if any, do. And while I thought “Dylan” I too heard “Axl.”



  38. Elmer Palmer
    September 4, 2009 12:40 pm

    Ken,

    How can IC do this!?!? Where’s the bow to Donnie or Joey??



  39. one-eyed dick
    September 4, 2009 12:43 pm

    I thought of Dylan–Dylan’s soundtrack of the 1973 Peckinpah movie “Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid,” starring Kris Kristofferson, James Coburn and various other western types, including, yes, even Bob Dylan himself, thinking that I should have been a cowboy riding the range on my old cayuse, instead of sitting here in Florida being a bum, which is what I am….



  40. bucdaddy
    September 4, 2009 2:22 pm

    And still, God has let you live to be 35?



  41. red pen mama
    September 4, 2009 3:54 pm

    Yet another reason to never let my daughters watch soap operas. It worked for me.

    ciao,
    rpm



  42. Allen
    September 4, 2009 8:13 pm

    I instantly heard GNR in my head…

    Anyway, we may not win this year. Stupid Madden ’10 put Polamalu on their cover this year D=



  43. Bram R
    September 4, 2009 8:16 pm

    I see this has been mentioned already, but … really. Dylan is Dylan, but Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door is a GNR tune in Pittsburgh. Maybe it’s a Bob Dylan song in North Versigh.



  44. Pittsburgh Tom (now back in da burgh)
    September 4, 2009 8:54 pm

    The first time I heard Faith Hill’s version of Piece of my heart, it had just come out on radio and my roommate and i started singing along and then stopped suddenly to figure out how we knew all the lyrics to a song we’d never heard before. It took us a second to figure out what song it was.
    Heard a interview once where Faith said she hadn’t heard Janis’s version before she recorded hers. When she did, she was blown away. So Faith knows her version doesn’t compare.
    Sammy Hagar actually does a good version of Piece of my heart. Not as good as Janis’s, but alot better than Faith’s.



  45. jhwygirl
    September 4, 2009 8:56 pm

    Well, I’m really the odd one out…I thought Grateful Dead.

    Nice logo…and if anyone wants to mail me some IC Light (high in protein, low in fat, I used to tell my mom), I’d be might grateful.



  46. Pittsburgh Tom (now back in da burgh)
    September 4, 2009 9:00 pm

    By the way, Janis Joplin wasn’t the first to sing Piece of my heart. She just did it better than anyone and hers is now the version everybody copies.
    Just like Joan Jett wasn’t the first to sing I Love Rock N Roll and Aretha Franklin wasn’t the original version of R-E-S-P-E-C-T.



  47. Pittsburgh Tom (now back in da burgh)
    September 4, 2009 9:04 pm

    And am I the only one that doesn’t like these seven slogans like “Knockin’ on seven’s door” or “stairway to seven”. And usually I like puns and wordplay.



  48. Chris
    September 5, 2009 12:00 am

    Okay, why did I think “Loverboy”? Didn’t they sing that “Almost Paradise” song too?

    “Loverboy”…..seven….there’s a PittGirl joke in there somewhere!



  49. Maspy
    September 5, 2009 12:40 am

    Ahhhhh! Equate your dislike of pigeons with my dislike of GUIDING LIGHT. My mother and sister tortured me with that show for years! Years, I tell you!
    Now you have to go insert that imagery into my head. Noooooooooooo!
    I can’t even watch CSI: NY because that Melina Kanak.. Kanarda.. Kardashakanredes …AH! the Greek chick.
    Death to the Spauldings! Death to Riva and Josh (Again). The only thing that keeps me from really wigging out here is the comfort of knowing P&G is canceling it. I can rest easy.

    I’m calm now.

    How are you.