Too easy.


Write your own “The Pirates make me sick!” joke, preferably with a punchline that ends with, “BECAUSE THEY SUCK!”

17 years of losing, friends. I can’t even find anything to say about that that doesn’t sound like [gag].


  1. Pittsburgh Tom (now back in da burgh)
    September 8, 2009 9:01 am

    I’m actually getting crap about the Pirates losing from a Cubs fan friend of mine. The Cubs haven’t won a championship in 101 years and they blame it on a goat and he’s making fun of me.

  2. Sooska
    September 8, 2009 9:02 am

    Talk about going viral. The way the Buccos of Suckitude “play baseball,” it is highly likely they will stab themselves with the used needles, thus insuring the spread of nasty diseases.

  3. Magus Patris
    September 8, 2009 9:10 am

    Next year there’s going to be a new Pirates promotional night; “$1 Hooker & Cocaine Night”. THey expect to get 12,000 people for those nights; 14,000 if they have fireworks too.

  4. spoon
    September 8, 2009 9:17 am

    Magus, they could market that even better as “Get blown at PNC Park”

    oh wait, it’s Mega-Pirate sir… they’ve gone from suck to blow.

  5. Vivian formerly NYLuvsPitts
    September 8, 2009 9:34 am

    It could be worse. ie: Kansas City Royals – .380 or the Washington Nationals – .343

  6. Magus Patris
    September 8, 2009 9:52 am

    Another thought is to randomly let a wild animal (tiger, lion, monkeys with sharpened sticks) out onto the field during the game.

    Greg Brown: “It’s going back to the left field wall, Milledge retreats to the warning track, he’s under it… oh, no! Milledge is mauled by the tiger; he drops the ball. Pujols rounds second with an angry bull gaining on him; he’s being waved home….”

    OK, I’d go see that, 17 years of losing or not.

  7. Joe K.
    September 8, 2009 9:53 am

    I think sea-sickness pills would be more appropriate . . .

  8. bucdaddy
    September 8, 2009 10:08 am

    OK, it’s been fun, but can we let this “17 seasons” thing go now? Especially since I lost a two-beer bet on the date of No. 82. Feeling kinda stabby today.

  9. Goob
    September 8, 2009 10:23 am

    If the losing streak continues for one more year, it’ll be eligible to vote.

    Three more years after that, and the losing streak will be eligible to drink.

  10. Schuyler
    September 8, 2009 10:42 am

    We went to the game on Sunday (thinking they’d break the record) because my 9-year-old is a Cardinals fan. And with 17 straight years of losing, not only are the Pirates going to lose their ‘loyal’ fans, but they’re going to lose an entire generation of young fans! I will say, the Pirates gave us a good game to watch – winning in the bottom of the 9th, with the local boy Neil Walker getting his first MLB hit and scoring the tying run. My son was bummed, but there were plenty of Cardinal fans there to offer him sympathy.

  11. Vivian formerly NYLuvsPitts
    September 8, 2009 10:44 am

    Hey, I remember reading an interview where Troy stated that he gets angry when the Pirates loses. How bent up must he be. (lol) I’ll see if I can find the link.

  12. Slidetuba
    September 8, 2009 11:42 am

    Well, I guess that the Buccos of Suckitude are trying to bring in the blue hair crowd.. I mean, the elderly are the only ones alive now who remember when the Bucs actually won the series..

  13. unsatisfied
    September 8, 2009 2:12 pm

    magus — are you asking for an 80’s pirates night? that’d be awesome — those teams knew ALL about good cocaine. maybe they could also bring back the 80’s pirate parrot, who hooked ’em up….

    cubs fan has NO right to complain. the succos have already lost this latest generation — none of my nieces nor nephews (all between the ages of 13-18) want to go to games.

  14. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    September 8, 2009 2:47 pm

    I’ll be there regardless of how long it takes. I support all of the Pittsburgh teams when they win or lose. Yeah, it sucks when they lose, but I’m still going to be there cheering them on.

  15. REARless
    September 8, 2009 2:56 pm

    Three words for tonights game:


  16. cathy
    September 8, 2009 3:40 pm

    Yeah they suck but the stadium has a great view of the city!! lol

  17. USCMike
    September 8, 2009 4:38 pm

    Hey, who needs a vaccination against H1N1? We need something to prevent the dreaded O418…which will hopefully prevent O419 too!

  18. Molly
    September 8, 2009 4:49 pm

    i’m really looking forward to my first pirates game tonight. and by “pirates game” i mean “pirates massacre, courtesy of the cubs”.

  19. Pittsburgh Tom (now back in da burgh)
    September 8, 2009 5:03 pm

    Molly, don`t be so sure the pirates will be massacred tonight. They have a winning record at home this year and recently won 5 of 6 against milwaukee and philly, two teams that usually kill them worse than most.

  20. Elmer Palmer
    September 8, 2009 9:13 pm


    You forget to look at the positive side of things. Those 17 years have been steroid free. Something no other team can claim. Such is teh price of purfection!

  21. Don
    September 9, 2009 5:04 pm

    Let’s see, they give away free flu shots and you bitch about it. At least they’re just failing at a game.

  22. MeganMaria
    September 9, 2009 5:25 pm

    Don. You’re an idiot.

  23. Don
    September 10, 2009 1:16 am

    MeganMaria: Really cogent comment. You should be proud.

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