Yesterday felt like Christmas a little bit didn’t it?

To an out-of-towner, I don’t know how to exactly express to you what Downtown Pittsburgh is like let alone on a Steelers game day, but a nationally televised, concert-preceeding, fireworks-bursting, Harry Mmrow Connick Mmrow Junior-belting, reddish-sky, cool-air, ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL game day.  It’s electric. (Boogie woogie woogie. Whoa. Where did THAT come from?)

You want to walk up to jerseyed strangers on the sidewalk and hug them.  You want to grab a microphone that broadcasts across the country and you want to scream, “HOW AWESOME IS MY PITTSBURGH?! Huh?!?  HUH?!?”

Let’s talk football game.

1.  The free concert at Point State Park featured the Black Eyed Peas, which were very “meh” to me and Tim McGraw, who was also kind of meh.

But I do have one question for Tim.  Tim, do you know the Muffin Man?

Is that just a bad picture or is he really that muffin-toppy?  Maybe he wants to buy his butt-cracking Wranglers one size bigger.

2.  Speaking of muffins:

Hawt!

Also:

(thx to William and Jennifer for that pic)

3.  Benny came through for us in the end, but not before spreading some suckshine all over the place.  Perhaps he was distracted when he heard that his accuser is planning to go to court to ask the judge to force Benny to reveal the name of every woman he has ever had sex with.

4.  Then it seemed he was too busy trying to remember them all.

5.  His teammates were so disgusted with his lack of concentration they decided to pitch in and help him finish up his mental list:

6.  Willie Parker was a beast, running for negative 955 yards.  It takes a LOT of work to gain that many negative yards. SOMEBODY’S been eating his Wheaties!  And providing his own pickup truck sound effects:

7.  Troy Polamalu. TROYSUS POLAMALU!

My sister Tammy called me as Harry Mmrowr Connick Mmrowr Jr. was singing and asked breathlessly: “Are you drooling over Troysus?  Did you see when they showed him and his hair was blowing in the wind and he was praying? If I could medically fuse that image to my eyeballs so it’s all I see for the rest of my life, I would.”

She sent me a picture of what she’s talking about:

Divine.

Did you also notice that for a good portion of the game, the defense took a nap and let Troy do all the work?  I noticed.  You know why?  Because I have the Steelers D in my Yinz Team Fantasy Football team (Skippy’s Sluts!).

Troy was everywhere.  Making tackles. Taking out knees. Praying. Tackling. Praying. Intercepting in the name of Jesus.

Then The Madden Curse struck and he injured his knee and we’re looking at a three to six-week absence from our favorite Samoan.

Here’s hoping LenDale White gets the next Madden cover.

8.  Daniel Sepulveda is a monster.  A punt-blasting, five-yard -line pinning, deliciously lickable monster.  Grrrrowr.

9.  Poor Hines.  Caught for 100+ yards and then fumbled the ball when he had a leaping chance to win the game for us.  Hines responded the same way he responds to everything bad including an ouchie booboo on his finger.  He wept.  Oh, Hines. Buck the cowboy up!

That sounds dirty.

10. And finally, Jeff Skippy Skeeve Reed, realizing if he wins this game for the Steelers that Hines is going to owe him a plethora of sluts (Plethora is the technical term for a group of sluts.  Like flock of geese, pride of lions, plethora of sluts).  With a 33-yard overtime field goal, Skippy won the game for us, for sluts, and for perhaps the greatest reward of all –  making out with Daniel Sepulveda.

Can you imagine if a judge ordered Jeff Reed to reveal the names of every woman he has had sex with?  I bet he would pull a USB drive out of his pocket all, “Here’s 2005-2009.”

All in all, not a pretty game. But as we say here in Pittsburgh: A win is a win is a win, n’at, yinz guys.

11. Oh, and LenDale White and your 33 yards?

(*h/t to reader Mike for that excellent title)

Category: Ben Roethlisberger, Steelers, Troy Polamalu | tags: Ben Roethsliberger, Daniel Sepulveda, Pittsburgh Steelers, Troy Polamalu | September 11, 2009 | |

62 Responses

1. Pensgirl Says:
   September 11th, 2009 at 2:38 pm

   Holy Blessed Polamalu I missed these!

   This WTWRT is so full of win I barely know where to start, but my favorite part? “Suckshine.” Love it!

2. Trinity Says:
   September 11th, 2009 at 2:40 pm

   I missed Troysus so much. And have you to thank for the fact that my husband gives me the strangest look every time I scream “TROYSUS!” during a Steelers game.

3. Beth Says:
   September 11th, 2009 at 2:42 pm

   That pic of Troysus? Delicious.

4. Sooska Says:
   September 11th, 2009 at 2:44 pm

   As Coach Tomlin says “They don’t give style points.” Well, at least for football. I cannot speak for Bennie. or Skeeve. I can only continue to search for the image of Troysus’ from that photo in my peanut butter toast, bathroom mirror fog or spills in the WalMart parking lots worldwide.

5. Duncan Says:
   September 11th, 2009 at 2:44 pm

   I have only been following your blog for a few weeks but I do believe I like it more and more each week. I agree with Jeff Skippy Skeeze and his USB of women… that made me laugh out loud.

6. PittinDC Says:
   September 11th, 2009 at 2:56 pm

   I had Hines as one of my WRs in my fantasy league.. it was seriously double the sadness for me as I sat in my apartment drinking my Rolling Rock, because Arn City refuses to send beer to stores in Maryland.

   So good to have the Stillers and WTWRT back though!

7. Monty Says:
   September 11th, 2009 at 3:01 pm

   What, no love for the 3-legged receiver? He looked like the real deal, and I’m not talking about his dong.

8. JenOH Says:
   September 11th, 2009 at 3:02 pm

   LOVE #2 with the pictures and comments!! Too funny!

9. MonsterQuads Says:
   September 11th, 2009 at 3:08 pm

   OMG the photos and your captions have me spewing! Freakin’ hilarious man!

10. Stacey Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    Damn! Now I am craving Fluffernutters again… Hilarious post… missed these!

11. Pa-pop Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    Now we know where “Big Snack” hides the big snacks!

12. JustOneL Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    I’ve missed these desperately! So glad you’re back and WTWRT is back in mid-season form!

13. Schuyler Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    Thanks for the laughs … especially Benny’s chin and the fluffernutter-hiding-helmet. Great stuff!!

    And if you haven’t had a chance – check out Troy on The Today Show yesterday. Just another reason to love him.

14. Vivian formerly NYLuvsPitts Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    @ Monty. LOL 3-legged receiver lol

15. KKinLA Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    OMG! OMG! OMG!

    I am so freaking glad that you are back, I’m seriously crying a little bit now. Skippy Skeeve’s USB full ‘o sluts made me snort in my coffee. Keep ‘em coming!

16. john Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    Two thousand, seven hundred and fifty two. May God have mercy

17. ns Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    that was by far the best captions i’ve ever seen.

    i have a picture of a Steeler being face masked by a Titan and the ref looking at them (yet didn’t call a penalty)
    My caption would be:
    the ref thinking, “I’ll wait until the Titans take a knife out and stab a Steeler. We’ll let this face mask one slide.”

    The reffing was NOT good.

18. L-A Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    Great post, woman! Did anyone see the pic of the three-legged received wearing a Vick jersey after the game? WTEFFIE is up with that?

19. robernator Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    Now that’s entertainment!

    Hey, think you could grab Skippy Skeeve’s USB full~o~sluts next game for me? I need to pimp out some beetches. I’m sure Skippy would pay good $$.

20. L-A Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    btw Skippy Skeeve is my #1 kicker on my fantasy team (Name: Yinzergoindahn) He got me 7 points. whoooo!

21. Amber Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    Now that we got our first dose of WTWRT, football season has truly begun!

22. Elmer Palmer Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    Ken,

    There was exitement in the air last night. I woulda loved to has seen Casey Hampton unload on Colins that one time he busted loose from the O line. That woulda been classic

23. Bram R Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 4:39 pm

    I said it last year, I’ll say it again this year. Let’s bring on the age of Mellyweede More.

    A three to six week absence? That’s actually breaking news to me.

24. red pen mama Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    As I mentioned yesterday on Twitter, if Benny can name all the women he’s slept with, I will pay off the crazy lady.

    I should probably make this comment anonymous, because I’m pretty broke. But I think it’s a safe bet.

    He’s just not as organized as Skippy. The USB drive comment cracked me up. thanks for a great laugh on a crappy (for me) day.

    ciao,
    rpm

25. bluzdude Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 4:47 pm

    Now I know you’re fully back. I love the WTWRT, always.

    Skippy and his USB killed me. Probably has a data file and pictures for each slut. And a rating system.

26. Don Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    >>>As I mentioned yesterday on Twitter, if Benny can name all the women he’s slept with, I will pay off the crazy lady.<<<

    He didn't sleep with a lot of them. He just banged them and sent them on their way.

    That's why crazy lady is so pissed.

27. Still A. Fan Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 5:23 pm

    i have 2 black eyed peas songs on my ipod so i’m not a hater…but troysus skeeve, they suck balls live. i was actually not hating the idea at 8:00 pm of seeing them as I figured they would get the crowd super hyped. so yes, steal or put a few .99 cent songs of theirs on your ipod….but show me someone who pays $40 of their hard earned cheddar to go see them live and i’ll show you someone who has been bamboozled by marketing. the guys dressed in white painter’s jumpers with masking tape on them could have been juggling 18 balls in the air at once or shooting lightening bolts out of their asses and it wouldn’t have mattered. they should change their name to black eyed suck.

    oh the game? it rocked. haaaaaard. i’m ready to see moore start. here we go!

28. Wckdcll Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    @Monty wicked funny….3 legged receiver…good shit!

    Can’t believe that dick move done by the “3 legged receiver” after the game…..NICE JERSEY DOUCHE…

    great shit Ginny

29. facie Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    Gold. Pure gold. This has been my favorite so far.

30. loeb Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 6:29 pm

    and as if you didn’t love troysus enough:

    http://mondesishouse.blogspot.com/2009/09/troy-polamalu-on-today-show.html

31. Dave Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 7:09 pm

    Just a tip for the next edition:

    Do you use a program that can add drop shadow to the text?
    It will make it easier to read when it’s white text on a white background (i.e. the Troysus pic).

    That said, I love these.

32. rickh Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 7:45 pm

    Ginny, thanks for the WTWRT post; classic. Been looking forward to it since your return.

    But what is up with no pics of Fergie for the boys in the crowd? Damnit all to hell!

33. DPUTiger Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    I cannot even begin to tell you how much I enjoy reading your blog posts again. Hooray!

34. Linda Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 10:04 pm

    When the fireworks were going off before the game, from skyscrapers and barges on the river and Heinz Field itself, I thought there might be a collective Steeler Nation orgasm. Super Bowl Champion banner. First game of the season. Giant Party. And FIREWORKS. Massive emotional quadrifecta.

    I know. That’s not a word. Now let’s get every nun in town to pray for a miracle Troysus healing.

35. ThatsSynagogue Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    those pictures of ben and the captions are pretty tasteless and offensive… regardless of whether he’s guilty or innocent, joking in any fashion at the expense of a sexual assault accusation is pretty tasteless.

36. RIZZO Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 3:27 am

    I said early in the game that Troysus was gonna hurt himself. He was a Somoa possessed out there! I literally think that he was flying on more than one occassion. GREAT post Ginny, you ROCK!

37. fashionplate Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 4:12 am

    As much as I love you, I have to agree with ThatsSynagogue.

38. Scott R Priester Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 7:30 am

    “ThatsSynagogue Says:
    September 11th, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    those pictures of ben and the captions are pretty tasteless and offensive… regardless of whether he’s guilty or innocent, joking in any fashion at the expense of a sexual assault accusation is pretty tasteless.”

    I also agree. I would think common sense would dictate to leave him alone, considering all that’s going on in his life, and all that has transpired in Virginia’s life. I would not be surprised to see an email from Ben or his lawyers, with a much different tone than the email she received from the so called “Dread Lord”.

39. hello haha narf Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 8:55 am

    are you fucking kidding me? people are actually complaining about some of these FUNNY images and captions? seems that some folks need to get their panties out of a bunch and find their sense of humor. as a woman who has experienced terrible sexual assaults, i feel comfortable saying if you don’t like the humor you find here, go somewhere else. there is a little red x in the corner for a reason.

40. Virginia Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 9:13 am

    I will clarify that the pic captioned about the girl on the floor in the shower wasn’t supposed to hint that Benny assaulted her. I have LONG joked that if I had sex with Benny, I would immediately hit the shower to wash the filth off while sobbing on the floor a la a Lifetime Original Movie. That was my intention with that photo. A girl regretting having consensual sex with Benny.

    But, to Scott, yes, if you hate what you read here so much, why do you continue to come back?

41. lilkirbs Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 9:40 am

    I do believe you are my new favorite person..i haven’t laughed that hard in a long time..great post!! thank you!!! karma boomerang..NICE!

42. Ant Annie Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 9:48 am

    Wow — really missed these! This edition is priceless!! I especially loved the Karma Boomerang and pic of Cici Donna and the secret fluffernutter hiding place… Welcome back, your Majesty!! Looking forward to a whole season of Stillers fun.

43. bucdaddy Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 11:18 am

    This almost makes it worth putting up with football season. Almost.

    Well played VM, well played.

    Geez, I don’t think I could name every girl I’ve ever laid wood to and I’m only in the low low low double digits.

    Well played, crazy lady’s lawyer, well played.

    ThatsSynagogue and Scott R.,

    So … you guys spend all your spare time volunteering at the Rape and Domestic Violence Information Center, do you? Bravo for you, but …

    Poorly played, guys, poorly played.

44. Russell Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 11:40 am

    I’ve only been following you for a few weeks now (since finding the site on the podcamp Pittsburgh site) and I’m loving every post so far! Your description of Skippy Skeeve is right on. I live in Wheeling, but I’ve had the amusement of seeing him out on a couple occasions when in Pittsburgh. Once he came into McFaddens with what could only be described as a flock of high school girls….priceless. (and I thought I was the only one who called him Skippy!)

45. Summer Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 1:12 pm

    Scott has a total love/hate thing going on with That’s Church — he loves the attention, but he hates that Ginny is better known/loved than he is.

    Get a life, you Gloomy Gus and quit hanging around, wagging your finger at everyone here. No one takes you or your pompous proclaimations seriously.

46. Tim Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    That picture and caption of Casey is just too funny! But I have to agree with your sister that the “suckshine” comment was just a perfect assessment of Benny’s goat to hero game. Ginny, this is scary, but I find myself using your euphemisms like all the time any more. LOL

47. Virginia Hendricks Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 3:11 pm

    I didn’t realize how much I missed these Steeler games posts until I saw this one. LOL.

    Thanks! and GO STEELERS!

48. scott r priester Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    The last time I checked, America was about challenge and difference of opinion. That’s why I continue to come back. I love to read and enjoy difference of opinion, which there isn’t much here at all. I moved here nearly three years ago and love and embrace the city as much as Virginia does. I also enjoy reading foolishness and poor attempts at humor which I get more than my fill of here.

49. Bram R Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    PS — Okay okay, you proved to me you can make fun of ppl!

    Srsly though, I was also sympathizing with ThatsSynagogue and holding my tongue, until I read comment #40. Oh lordy, comment forty. Gotta respect consistency.

50. Penny Lane Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    Oh how I missed football and WTWRT! In addition to looking heavenly before the game, our Troyus is also looking pretty fine in those head and shoulder commercials.

    Oh boy, yinz guys went and did it — I was hoping no one would pay any attention to the resident troll, scott r. priester, and he would just go away. He clearly loves the attention and after all, he deserves it – he’s just so much smarter than the rest of us. *eyeroll*

51. Linda Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 10:58 pm

    If there are existing emails in which the accuser expressed hope that she is expecting a man’s baby, it ain’t sexual assault. All that is going on with the plaintiff and her sportscar-chasing attorney is the bluster on the way as they exit, stage left.

    And if a rich, talented, educated and highly visible public figure has sex with a stranger, he ought to be smart enough to know that she might be 1) lacking in judgment or self-esteem, since she is having sex with a stranger in a hotel room; 2) hoping that fame and glory will rub off on her; 3) and perhaps money, as well; 4) fertile in body and/or imagination, supporting the fantasy of a long-term connection; or 5) setting him up for a sexual assault claim and thus 6) a potential source of expense and embarrassment–or potentially career-ending legal trouble.

    Nobody should dignify this mess by confusing it with sexual assault.

52. bucdaddy Says:
    September 13th, 2009 at 12:32 am

    Scott, I hear they have wonderful drugs these days that can help you with your terminal humor deficiency. Ask your doctor about Funnyboneitra.

53. Don Says:
    September 13th, 2009 at 5:55 am

    This should lighten the caseload in the courts. We’ll eliminate the need for evidence and testimony and just let Linda decide if a crime has been committed.

54. unsatisfied Says:
    September 13th, 2009 at 10:17 am

    scott’s back! his stupidity makes me giggle.

55. justagirl Says:
    September 13th, 2009 at 4:24 pm

    Actually, I’m curious how exactly this counts as making fun of sexual assault. Ginny referenced the current state of the sexual assault case to explain why Ben would be listing his sexcapades, yes. But that’s just to explain why Ben is standing (or laying, or whatever) there reliving past encounters. They were consensual past encounters. She was picking on Ben and his theoretical happiness to jump into bed and *cough*do stuff with women he doesn’t know–but nothing suggested any of it was nonconsensual.

    I do appreciate people who stand up for victims of sexual assault, because all too often they are the ones who bear the blame for someone else’s actions. But I also want to remind people that just referencing sexual assault is not the same thing as joking about the assault. (This is true of many serious topics.)

56. justagirl Says:
    September 13th, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    *kicks her soapbox away* Jesus. That no humor thing is contagious.

    I’m always in awe of how little of Casey Hampton’s head his face takes up. Little face on giant head (apparently topped with fluffernutters).

57. Linda Says:
    September 14th, 2009 at 6:43 am

    Don, Ben hasn’t been charged with a crime. There was no call to police, no investigation, and therefore, no evidence that had been collected and weighed by professionals looking to see if a crime had been committed. If this was a pending criminal matter–either under investigation by police or already in the hands of a district attorney who had indicted the alleged assaulter, my comment would be inappropriate. As it stands here, it is the plaintiff and her attorney that bypassed a criminal investigation and trial by jury.

    The plaintiff is looking for money in a civil suit. She has made an allegation that she was damaged and wants compensation. Civil courts are the places people go when tenants trash their rental home or someone fails to pay back a loan or a patient sues a doctor for damages. In the past, that has been a back-door to get accountability in criminal cases where the jury acquitted people in the criminal case (e.g., O.J. Simpson.) But in those cases, the evidence is already part of the public record as there was a criminal trial. My point was that both of these people have made bad choices, and IF the published accounts I referenced are true, we are in the neighborhood of sexual stupidity, not sexual assault.

58. Scott R Priester Says:
    September 14th, 2009 at 8:54 am

    Unsatisfied accuses me of stupidity, and then I read this

    “Scott, I hear they have wonderful drugs these days that can help you with your terminal humor deficiency. Ask your doctor about Funnyboneitra.” <—-From none other than "Buc Daddy" LOL……..I'll bet you're all Lady Gaga fans too?

59. Maria Says:
    September 14th, 2009 at 9:24 am

    How does Casey Hampton stuff that big head into that helmet!!
    Troyus is divine!!! Wish they would learn from him and stop hoeing around so much!

60. Ant_041 Says:
    September 14th, 2009 at 11:46 am

    OMG you went there with the Fluffernutters. LMAO my son eats them all the time.

    Is it me or is Casey Hampton doing his best impression of Great Gazoo. “The Flintstones”

61. Pensgirl Says:
    September 14th, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    Tim #46, just to clarify, I’m not Ginny’s sister, just a woman who loves the Pens and who had a creativity freeze years ago when I was trying to come up with a handle. This isn’t the only site where I use the name, so I just want to be clear that my online resemblance to Ginny’s sister is coincidental.

62. Erica Says:
    September 15th, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    Be careful what you say about Tim McGraw his she-bitch will come after you. everything else is fine because they aren’t married to psychotic women.

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