Reader Brian brought this video to my attention.
This is a video of a cricket player accidentally killing a pigeon with a cricket ball.
Yes, a pigeon died. Yes, it was a thing of beauty to see spurting guts or maybe it was poop and yes, I heard an angel get its wings.
But can we focus on what’s really important here?
Do you notice the crowd’s reaction to the death of the pigeon?
They aren’t angry. They aren’t up in arms about animal rights or the ethical treatment of animals. They aren’t ripping their clothes off to pose nude in protest.
None of that!
They are EFFIN’ APPLAUDING!
They’re thrilled. They saw a pigeon offed and they liked it. They’re roaring in approval. They’re standing up in their seats like the cricket player just won an Olympic medal. They want an encore.
They’re saying, “We don’t care that you didn’t even mean to kill it! What’s important is that you killed the son of a bitch! Yay for you! We’re going to bake you a cake and make you a national hero for killing that bird!”
Can you image how orgasmic they would be to watch a person intentionally off pigeons?
I can’t either, but I’ll be in Market Square offing pigeons so feel free to come down and clap for me.
Or bake me a cake.
A carrot cake.