Bravo! Encore! More blood and guts!

Reader Brian brought this video to my attention.

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This is a video of a cricket player accidentally killing a pigeon with a cricket ball.

Yes, a pigeon died. Yes, it was a thing of beauty to see spurting guts or maybe it was poop and yes, I heard an angel get its wings.

But can we focus on what’s really important here?

Do you notice the crowd’s reaction to the death of the pigeon?

They aren’t angry.  They aren’t up in arms about animal rights or the ethical treatment of animals.  They aren’t ripping their clothes off to pose nude in protest.

None of that!

They are EFFIN’ APPLAUDING!

They’re thrilled.  They saw a pigeon offed and they liked it.  They’re roaring in approval. They’re standing up in their seats like the cricket player just won an Olympic medal. They want an encore.

They’re saying, “We don’t care that you didn’t even mean to kill it!  What’s important is that you killed the son of a bitch!  Yay for you! We’re going to bake you a cake and make you a national hero for killing that bird!”

Can you image how orgasmic they would be to watch a person intentionally off pigeons?

I can’t either, but I’ll be in Market Square offing pigeons so feel free to come down and clap for me.

Or bake me a cake.

A carrot cake.

Thanks.





37 Comments

  1. Sean
    September 14, 2009 3:50 pm

    I think this pretty much proves that it’s OK to kill pigeons because they are too stupid to live. If they haven’t even mastered the concept of looking both ways when crossing a cricket pitch, it’s amazing they haven’t gone extinct already.



  2. an old geezer
    September 14, 2009 3:53 pm

    My better half and I are set to take a two week trip to Italy and I noticed that restaurants over there have pigeon on the menu. Want us to bring some home for you?



  3. parkingchair
    September 14, 2009 3:58 pm

    Someone kills a pigeon – and God makes Troy’s knee injury a minor one.

    Karma rests its case.



  4. cathy
    September 14, 2009 4:02 pm

    ROTFLOL – They are EFFIN’ APPLAUDING! – brillant…



  5. scottie
    September 14, 2009 4:05 pm

    It is the That’s Church version of Dorothy’s house dropping on the Wicked Witch. Like!



  6. tehamy
    September 14, 2009 4:06 pm

    Now I want carrot cake.



  7. Pa-pop
    September 14, 2009 4:15 pm

    1. (ANNCR: “… and the pigeon is no more.”) That looked like a Norwegian Blue pigeon. I think it was only stunned. Probably just pinin’ for the fjords.



  8. bluzdude
    September 14, 2009 4:16 pm

    Maybe next there will be a golfing incident in Malaysia or somewhere… This could be the start of something big in the sporting world!



  9. Debbie
    September 14, 2009 4:18 pm

    I`ll even make it with cream cheese icing…Yum!



  10. Elmer Palmer
    September 14, 2009 4:21 pm

    Ken,

    Cricket is a nobile sport and such an act is considerate devine



  11. Burgh Baby
    September 14, 2009 4:33 pm

    Gaddamit. Every time you mention carrot cake I go on a carrot cake bender. Where am I going to find carrot cake tonight?



  12. richrovs
    September 14, 2009 4:34 pm

    How many times did you rewind that? Quite a throw. I “accidentally” got one sporting clays shooting once.



  13. Craig Fluck
    September 14, 2009 4:45 pm

    I think it was a pigeon suicide, he flew right into the ball.



  14. Pat
    September 14, 2009 4:52 pm

    Actually, I think they’re applauding because something actually happened during a cricket match



  15. spoon
    September 14, 2009 5:22 pm

    If the Pirates could throw that accurately I think we’d have a new promo night.



  16. Sooska
    September 14, 2009 5:24 pm

    I drove into Baltimore on Saturday morning to visit family. On the way in, near the Raven’s stadium, I was behind a guy driving a silver Honda Civic. A pigeon landed in the street and, although he had plenty of time since he was crawling along, the Baltimoron SWERVED so he would not hit it. Stupid Raven’s fan.



  17. Magus Patris
    September 14, 2009 5:29 pm

    I think this might be the beginning of a whole knew “WWTRT: Cricket”. Maybe we should get a cricket team to play at PNC Park during the summer. I don’t know anything about cricket (other than it involves throwing balls at pigeons), but it’s got to be better than the Pirates!



  18. Vivian formerly NYLuvs Pitts
    September 14, 2009 6:27 pm

    Wow!!! That throw was incredible. I like when the commentator said “and the pigeon is no more”.



  19. Allison
    September 14, 2009 7:29 pm

    I’m in Denver for a conference and I’ve seen exactly 2 pigeons the entire time I’ve been here… 5 days… if you’re ever thinking of a move, I’d recommend it!



  20. Still A. Fan
    September 14, 2009 8:06 pm

    Doesn’t anybody watch PNN? The Pigeon Traffic Controllers are on strike over there.



  21. chrys
    September 14, 2009 8:15 pm

    mmm.. carrot cake..

    As for the killing of pigeons? BRAVO!!!

    :)



  22. Steelman
    September 14, 2009 8:38 pm

    PETA is going to demand that cricket be banned as a sport. I think you should bring the cricket player to Market Square, give him an unlimited supply of balls and then let him throw at the pigeons until his arm drops off. Maybe some philanthropist will donate $10 to Children’s Hospital for every pigeon he whacks in the noggin. Large crowds might gather to cheer him on. It would be a good promo for your husband’s new restaurant.



  23. Carly
    September 14, 2009 11:19 pm

    In response to #19, I live in Denver and I can assure you there are more than 2 pigeons here. I’d hate for you to go to all that trouble only to realize you haven’t actually escaped the pigeons. For my part, moving to the Burgh next summer and have been advised to read this blog in preparation. Loving it so far!



  24. Steeler_tom
    September 15, 2009 12:47 am

    Isn’t there pigeon in carrot cake?

    Seriously, my sweetie makes me carrot cake whenever I ask for it.
    Her’s is the best and it’s from the L.A. Times cook book, Look for 14 caret cake It rocks!



  25. laurenhbg
    September 15, 2009 7:53 am

    I was on my way to work yesterday morning in Harrisburg, and saw an SUV with, I shit you not, a PA license plate that read “PIGEON.”

    I tried my hardest to get my cell phone and take a picture, but for the first time ever, traffic was actually moving on 83 North, so I was unsuccessful.

    I’ll be sure to keep my eyes peeled though in the future. =)



  26. Nancy
    September 15, 2009 8:16 am

    Pidgeons…”Rats with wings”…



  27. Brad
    September 15, 2009 9:10 am

    Death to the flying rats…



  28. Dave
    September 15, 2009 9:32 am

    a thing of beauty, that.



  29. m
    September 15, 2009 10:15 am

    we get it! You hate pigeons!
    For each time you write about them I will not vote to save a child. Fair?



  30. Rosie
    September 15, 2009 10:44 am

    ugh. people disgust me. “m,” you should really be ashamed of saying things like that.



  31. Sean
    September 15, 2009 11:37 am

    m, with all due respect, whose blog do you think you’re reading? Ginny is defined in part by her pigeon hate, and if the topic is a problem, click off the site and please do not come back.



  32. Melissa
    September 15, 2009 12:06 pm

    “and the pigeon is no more!” LMAO!!!

    You know Vivo in good old Bellevue sometimes has squab on the menu. Sooooo gross.



  33. JBEN
    September 15, 2009 12:32 pm

    I’m with M. You hate pigeons. We get it. There’s only so many times you can go to the well before it runs dry.



  34. unsatisfied
    September 15, 2009 1:12 pm

    @ spoon — dave winfield once killed a seagull or something up in toronto while throwing and warming up in the outfield. we should bring him back out of retirement and sign him up. (of course, he’d have more talent than the whole succo organization combined….)

    and, who could forget one of randy johnson’s fastballs killing a bird a few seasons ago?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KteP6k1wg94

    btw — I love the haters on here who whine, “oooh, give the pigeons a rest!” or “oooh, give fugly ben a break!” you guys just fill my heart with joy.



  35. PittCheMBA
    September 15, 2009 10:35 pm

    I was going to suggest maybe Daniel Sepulveda could take out a pigeon, but then he would be doing a “Michael Vick”.



  36. Chris Casey
    September 16, 2009 8:27 am

    What is that town in Ohio that has a yearly pigeon shoot? You could be their “pigeon shoot” festival queen. Skeet shooting with pigeons should be an Olympic sport.



  37. spoon
    September 16, 2009 9:02 am

    @unsatisfied if a pigeon was a hotdog would you eat it