It has been I guess three years now that I have taken part in the pain, the suffering, the joy, but mostly the pain of fantasy football. I want to win. I play to win. I’m thinking of benching Kurt Warner except I don’t have another quarterback that’s not named Matt Stafford.
But there is a special kind of fantasy football team manager that not only plays to win, but takes the whole thing a bit too seriously. And by “a bit” I mean “a bit to the power of eleventy thousand majillion.”
Last week the P-G (pronounced eee-pay eee-jay in Pig Latin) covered a story of a group of ten men from Tennessee who have a seven-year-old fantasy football league that they take so seriously that after I read the article I had to put down my newspaper, rub the sleep out of my eyes, look at the header and make 100% certain that I didn’t get a print copy of The Onion delivered to my house by mistake.
Every year these men spend thousands of dollars each in airfare, hotel accommodations, food, etc. to travel to the city that currently holds the Lombardi Trophy and it is there in that city that they will gather together to hold their live league draft.
There’s a little snazzy video on the site that you must check out. Especially to note:
They rent the board room in the hotel. That’s not ridiculous at all.
The name tags:
Look at that! They have their very own team logos! I’ve decided Skippy’s Sluts (my fantasy team) needs a logo. I’m thinking it should involve cleavage.
I’m sorry. Give me a moment.
I particularly like this picture:
They’re video recording the draft! Is this so in like ten years they can sit down with their young sons in front of the TV all, ‘Now watch here, son. Clearly, they think I’m going to choose another running back, but, wait for it …. wait for it …. wait for it …. and wait for it … BAM! A wide receiver. Look how stunned they are. Hey, where are you going?! I haven’t even taken a defense yet! I cry at one point, you hear me?! I. CRY!”
I also highly suggest you check out the rock-concert-devil-horns thrusting, circle-jumping league manager featured at 1:55 into the video.
I’m sitting here trying to think of something comparable that men think women take WAY too seriously, spend WAY too much money on, ridiculously jump up and down in joy over, forcing the men to roll their eyes and question the sanity of the opposite sex, and the only thing I can think of that might possibly qualify is shoes.
But shoes are like really important and stuff.