First, I promise, no talk of bajingos in this post other than to say that HOLY SHIT SERENA WILLIAMS IS ACTUALLY A TAMPAX TAMPONS SPOKESWOMAN! I had no clue when I wrote my little black and gold bajingo string joke. And look, here we are talking about bajingos again.
Enough. We’re moving on to boobies!
Because I’m comfortable with my boobies.
As you know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and the reason that you’re completely aware of that is because every third thing you buy this month in the grocery store is going to be pink. You think I’m exaggerating, but seriously, check your buggy (ding!) for yourself and you’ll find pink ribbons all over your non-perishables.
Do I think the pink thing is a little out of control? Tiny bit. And I say that as a woman whose grandmother died at the age of 57 from breast cancer. Don’t write me nasty emails. I of course applaud efforts to raise money for breast cancer research, but sometimes I wonder why, since I don’t think there’s a person in the world that’s not “aware” of breast cancer, some companies don’t just donate the money to the cause instead of turning their products ENTIRELY PINK! I’m looking at you, pink Terrible Towel:
It’s a bit much.
In addition, Willie Parker is going to have some odd footwear this Sunday:
It is nearly as painful as watching the Steelers’ running game these days, but, if Parker can pull on his pink shoes Sunday — worn by selected Steelers and others around the NFL this weekend for Breast Cancer Awareness Month — all might not be lost.
Will they be bedazzled with tiny crystals shaped like boobs?
In other news, Prostate Cancer Awareness Month was actually LAST month but you didn’t know that, because there were no meaningful images of surgical gloves printed on your cereal boxes and because there were no NFL players wearing reddish-colored shoes with purple veins painted on them.
Finally, DO NOT GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH FOR PROSTATE.
You just did, didn’t you?
(h/t USC Mike)