If you haven’t yet heard, Pittsburgh’s Rivers Casino isn’t exactly shattering income projections since its opening. No, rather it has been performing far enough under projections that its credit rating was dinged a notch.
The Post-Gazette did their own analysis of the crowds at the Rivers Casino versus the crowds at the more profitable Meadows Casino at various times during the week. In that article, they also interviewed the spokesman of the Rivers Casino, who when explaining why he believes the casino is struggling said this:
Mr. Matta said part of the Rivers’ woes may deal with traditional Pittsburgh quirks. People don’t like crossing rivers and are creatures of habit, which may explain why some feel more comfortable at The Meadows, he said.
Are you effin’ kidding me?
WE DON’T LIKE TO CROSS THE RIVERS?! You mean we don’t like to cross bridges in this smoky, sooty city and instead we just want to go down to Hornes and maybe hit up Murphy’s before shopping at Kaufmann’s or taking in a movie at the Warner Centre, and we SURE AS HELL aren’t going to cross a damn bridge to get to the casino.
Read the article and see the reasons casino-goers gave for choosing the Meadows and you’ll hear things like the Meadows is more comfy, the Meadows feels winnier (my word), the Meadows has more dollar machines, and on and on and on.
Not one scaredy-fraidy old grandma said, “The RIVERS Casino?! Ok, first sonny boy, it has the word ‘river’ right there in the name and second of all, I ain’t crossing no daggum bridge. That’s TERRIFYING! Now get out of my way and stop harshing my lucky.”
Also, Rivers Casino, if you believe the reason for your struggles has anything to do with Burghers being unwilling to cross a river, what, pray tell, do you plan to do about it? Good luck digging up that monstrosity of a casino and its equally monstrous garage and putting them somewhere where the entire city can get to them without crossing a frickin’ river.
Because we won’t cross no rivers, just ask the Steelers fans.
So tell me Burghers, has a single one of your grannies or pappies said they won’t go to the Rivers Casino because they have to cross the river? Anyone? Anyone? Zober?