If I was in a courtroom, being a lawyer, and trying to prove to a jury that pigeons really are evil and that my client (me) was not wrong when she sat in Market Square and shot pigeons with a BB gun during lunchtime, I would be all, “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have proof, irrefutable proof, that pigeons are evil knowing bastards that are borne of Satan and thus surely must die.” And then I’d show this video taken by reader Stanley:
Did you SEE THAT?
He wound open the window and the pigeon didn’t even acknowledge the fact that the window moved. Then he winds the window open again and the pigeon — the pigeon! He slowly turns his entire body around, peers menacingly into the window and breathes, “If you do that one more time, I will come in there and I will peck your face off and flush it down the toilet.”
Didn’t you hear that part, too?
Satan has clearly been up to something. Eff.