1. [mommyblogging] Yesterday was the occasion of childhood birthday party madness and the madness that gets heaped upon that madness and then the madness of cookie, cake, ice cream, and pop-addled screaming children madness that gets heaped upon those madnesses and just yesterday I decided birthday parties for children are unnecessary evils and I’m SO over them and next year it will be, “Good happy birthday morning! Here are your birthday Frosted Flakes and your birthday milk and LOOK! a special birthday spoon that looks just like every other spoon in this house. Now don’t be late catching your birthday bus because you don’t want to be late for your birthday math test and then when you get home, you will do your birthday homework before birthday dinner and then you can open your birthday gifts, after which, brush those birthday teeth and hit that birthday bed, BIRTHDAY BOY! WOO! High five!”
Also, my sisters and I NEVER had birthday parties growing up. We’ve survived with minimal therapy.
2. Some of you are asking what I mean when I say that Random Number Generator is picking the winner of my giveaways, and some of you are asking to see this mysterious Random Number Generator, but I can’t show it to you, because it is in my secret witch’s room in my house where I keep my crystal ball, my dead pigeon sacrifices, and various self-united husbands chained naked to the wall. I’m kidding … it’s right here. Every contest is decided by that little doohickeythingimajigabob. Technical term.
3. A rhino has apparently bit the thumb off of a Zoo worker. That’s terrible and further proof that animals, a great majority of them, are scary deadly beasts. I’m afraid of most all animals to the point that when I go to the zoo, I swear the monkeys look at me for the sole purpose of determining which appendange they will rip off first after they break through the glass and give me a disease. UPDATE: The thumb was merely crushed. Not severed, but crushed. “Crushed” is the answer we were looking for.
4. Pittsburgh will host one of the UN’s World Environment Day sites in 2010. This is awesome provided we don’t all have to stay home for it and provided it doesn’t attract any bridge danglers.
5. Tonight is the night that Jim Lokay and I will be bartending at the Glass Center for the ESPRIT event. I initially thought I only had to serve beer and wine, but now that I’ve seen the bartenders guide, I realize that I have to also serve a few mixed drinks. I have the capability to muck this up to the tune of epicness. Also, world, I am not a fashionista. I do not care that I wore the same black shirt to the Pittsburgh Magazine Best of Pittsburgh party that I wore to the Las Velas grand opening (still have to write that story up). And I do not care that I’m making a major fashion booboo and am wearing white tonight. Call it Winter White. Call it I Don’t Have Anything Else to Wear White. Call it LaMont Would Burn You Alive For That White. Call it Bite Me White.
6. We haven’t seen this lately, have we:
That was a nice trip down memory lane. I miss LaMont.
7. A few What the Effies for you.
- I don’t know what he’s doing in that first picture but I THINK he’s trying to look sexy. It’s totally working. Mrowr.
- “At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles.” Uh, that’s Chris Daughtry, no?
- “If your cool I might try some on for you if you want.” Boy, he just sneaked that in there, didn’t he?