They know.

My inbox is normally a very diverse set of incoming messages ranging from the “Wow. You are the suckiest suck of a blogger that ever did suck at blogging” to the “Oh! I thought of you today!” and to the “Thought you’d get a kick out of this!” to the “Will you marry me? Love, David Conrad.”

But since Sunday, my inbox has become so predictable that I don’t even need to read the messages.  I already know what they say.  They say, “OMG. DID YOU SEE THE PIGEON THAT PLAYED SPECIAL TEAMS FOR THE RAIDERS?!”

Here’s the video:

YouTube Preview Image


1.  I love that the Raiders were trying to shoo the pigeon away and the pigeon was all, “First, that’s funny. Pigeons don’t shoo. Second, you’re the OAKLAND RAIDERS! Don’t act like you’re above a little help from your pigeon friends.  We’re going to do this thing because you guys are miserable losers, but Satan has big plans for you. Now, you stand there, you stand there, I’ll stand here and here we go.  Watch and learn. Eye of the tiger.  Eye of the tiger.”

2.  People are acting amazed that the pigeon flew in formation with the line of running Raiders “as if it knew what to do.”

Um, what part of KNOWING BASTARD don’t people understand?

They aren’t animals.  They’re trained, computerized demons of Satan. And they know.

They know.



  1. Sooska
    October 20, 2009 7:15 pm

    I saw this on TV last night and remarked to my daughter, Ginny needs to see this video. The Raiders need any foul (fowl) help they can get.

    This morning I thought of you again when I opened the front door and there was a herd(?) of pigeons pecking in the street. The leaders seemed to be one very large pure all black pigeon and at the other end of the scrum a large pure white pigeon. It was some sort of sign. They turned and looked at me as I came down the steps and onto their sidewalk. there I said it. Their sidewalk. Legions of Doom..or Satan (not Miroslav.)

  2. Pittsburgh Tom (now back in da burgh)
    October 20, 2009 7:38 pm

    Did anyone see Al Davis when this was going on? And was he holding a joystick like he was controlling the pigeon? Cause if anyone in football has a connection with Satan, it’s Al Davis.

    (And yes, it would be a joystick, an Atari 2600 joystick to be exact, that Al would use to control pigeons. He’s old school. Plus the extra buttons on current controllers would just confuse him.)

  3. Chris
    October 20, 2009 7:42 pm

    I wonder if the Raider Pigeon went out after the game with his Raider Pigeon friends, got drunk, pissed on the sidewalk, then tried to fight off the Pigeon police. I’m pretty sure they did.

  4. Pa-pop
    October 20, 2009 7:46 pm

    I wonder if the officiating crew at Heinz had been in Oakland instead of Pittsburgh, would they have flagged the Raiders for too many players on the field? The bird was wearing black and gray, after all.

  5. aunt penny
    October 20, 2009 8:50 pm

    I’m pretty sure there should have been a fowl for illegal formation.

  6. bluzdude
    October 21, 2009 5:42 am

    I noticed that the pigeon stayed clear of the people in the stands. Probably figured it was much safer on the field.

  7. Pensgirl
    October 21, 2009 6:26 am

    I’m glad I didn’t email you when I saw it! Figured surely someone would cover that base.

    Building off of what Pittsburgh Tom said, is there a team you would be LESS surprised to see pigeons helping than the Raiders? Those knowing bastards know kindred-evilness when they see it.

  8. Bobbo
    October 21, 2009 6:54 am

    Yes!!! Bring on the pigeon lovers!!

  9. Dave
    October 21, 2009 7:25 am

    gawd, you are awesome.

  10. bucdaddy
    October 21, 2009 7:38 am

    We should see a Pigeon Coop at Raiders home games now, like the Dawg Pound in Cleveland.

    Wait … forgot to spell it Pigin, like Raiders fans would.

  11. facie
    October 21, 2009 8:33 am

    This was great. I am so happy to come here and get the really important things in life (i.e., things that make me laugh).

  12. AWags
    October 21, 2009 12:07 pm

    The pigeon was clearly offsides… or wait, he was leading his minions in to battle! Leave it to an evil pigeon to let everyone else do the dirty work.