A pop quiz


Bucco of Suckitude Andrew McCutchen, who is the least sucky player we have, was named Rookie of the Year by Baseball America, a publication I’ve never heard of before, but apparently this honor is a big big deal.

Pop quiz.

When Pirates upper management was informed that Andrew McCutchen was named Rookie of the Year by Baseball America, what was their behind-closed-doors knee-jerk Tourette’s response?

a.  “CHA-CHING!”

b. “Trade his ass for three of the shittiest pitchers you can find in Afghanistan.”

c.  “I guess we better hang on to him for at least ONE more year under the guise of ‘rebuilding’ and so the ‘fans’ don’t chase us down with pitchforks, but come 2011, CHA-CHING, BABY!”

d.  “$$$? $$$ $$$$$ $$$$, $$$$$$, $$$ $$$$$$ $$$$.  $$$$$!”

e.  All of the above.

No, those are your only choices, because I can pretty much guarantee one of those is true.

But I hope it’s not, because if ever the Pirates really truly did have a rock upon which to rebuild their team, Andrew McCutchen is it.


  1. Magus Patris
    October 27, 2009 2:01 pm

    I hope they get rid of some other worthless players (for example; one who has an unnamed brother who already had his worthless behind shipped out) before, like hardball vampyres, they suck the talent out of Andrew

  2. Duncan
    October 27, 2009 2:03 pm

    I agree entirely and will not so much as glance askew at your Buccos of Suckitude until they do something worthy of my attention. Don’t hold your breath!

  3. Ant
    October 27, 2009 2:10 pm

    I think talking about them this much, is to much.

  4. PG Wodehouse
    October 27, 2009 2:20 pm

    I moved to Philadelphia in ’94, just after the last gasp of the Pirate franchise. The players went on strike later that summer. I stopped watching baseball then and haven’t gone back. So things like 16 straight losing seasons don’t bother me as much as they might have.

  5. JenOH
    October 27, 2009 2:45 pm

    Andrew McCutchen is awesome! He is extremely fast and fun to watch. Too bad the rest of the team is so awful. I mean, when a team commits the fewest errors in MLB and still ends up with the 2nd worst record, you know something is seriously wrong.

  6. Matt
    October 27, 2009 2:53 pm

    The answer is “C”. They will then trade him for minor leaguers to “rebuild their minor league team”. Their reason being that they have to rebuild the minors to build a competitive professional team. Kind of like when they needed a bright and shiny new stadium to be competitive. We all see how that’s going for them.

  7. burgerboy47
    October 27, 2009 3:32 pm

    Definately a. – However 2008 Rookie of the Year was Geovany Soto – Chicago Cubs catcher who in 2009 hit .219 and basically sucked. So they should sell high now, cause you know they are shipping him off sooner or later. MLB blows. Stop watching until they figure out a salary cap is the only way for true competition. Something the Pirates don’t want becuase they would actually have to spend money on playas.

  8. bluzdude
    October 27, 2009 3:34 pm

    First question is, “Now how long is he signed for before we have to negotiate a new contract?”

    That’s how long we’ll be able to enjoy watching “Cutch” before he’s inevitably traded for minor leaguers and career journeymen.

  9. jedword
    October 27, 2009 3:42 pm

    Just read your list of categories in the sidebar. One is missing: turkeyburghers.

    Oh…did this have anything to do with the posting above? Hmmmmmmm.

    I’m a Red Sox fan.

  10. CrashJK
    October 27, 2009 3:50 pm

    All of the above…and who cares..

    GO YANKEES !!!! Woot…Jeter, AROD, CC, Jorge, Mark, Mariano, SwishHawk…

  11. CrashJK
    October 27, 2009 3:51 pm

    Oh..if you want to watch REAL baseball in this area…check out the Wild Things or the Butler BlueSox…that’s REAL baseball

  12. Pittsburgh Tom (now back in da burgh)
    October 27, 2009 4:31 pm

    I’m giving this management team the benefit of the doubt. They are already doing things different, like drafting players who will be hard to sign instead of drafting crappy players who they can sign easily.

  13. Cathy
    October 27, 2009 4:40 pm

    E Enough said….
    Rebuilding? for 30 years??

  14. butcher's dog
    October 27, 2009 4:43 pm

    I’m siding with Pittsburgh Tom on this one. There seems to be a different approach which could create different results. And burgerboy47 has it right; MLB is the least competitive sport and the only one without a salary cap. It’ll probably take a year or more without games, a la hockey, but if the cap ever finds its way to MLB then CrashJK better enjoy this last trip around the bases ’cause the Yanks and others will actually have to know what they’re doing instead of just throwing money around.

    And although the Bucs do, indeed, suck…watching them is a better way to spend summer evenings than watching re-runs on TV. And they sooooo make us appreciate the Steelers and Penguins.

  15. Linda
    October 27, 2009 4:48 pm

    Still enjoy going to the games and watching the kids enjoy the atmosphere, the Pirate Parrot, the cotton candy, etc. Win or lose, I love the stadium and getting families together.

  16. CFluck
    October 27, 2009 5:41 pm

    I’m with Linda, I love the Bucs and have since before birth. If you want a winner, get a salary cap and hang onto some good players. Me, I’ll just watch Angels in the Outfield, the black and white one filmed in Pittsburgh, one more time.

  17. LJ
    October 27, 2009 6:49 pm

    Ginny, you’ve hit in on the head.

    Ka-Ching. $$$$$. The Nuttings can’t fool me any more; they put all that revenue sharing money in the Nutting bank account. These bozos won’t spend a dime to keep our best players. And, oh yeah, a few years ago we had a star shortstop win the NL batting title. Where is he? So enjoy McCutcheon while he’s here. Pretty soon he’ll be a Yankee or a Red Sox player.

    I still love baseball, the Pirates, and PNC. I just don’t buy season tickets anymore since the Nuttings clearly don’t deserve any of my money.

  18. Bojack
    October 27, 2009 6:59 pm

    The Nuttings are EVIL THIEVES and if there is any justice in this world they and all of them, and their evil spawn henceforth, every shameful life presently connected with them, or as yet unborn, should suffer terrible, horrible diseases, have unspeakable tragedies, then die slow, lingering, torturous deaths!!!!!

    That being said, we do have the best farm-team ballpark.

  19. Pa-pop
    October 27, 2009 7:04 pm

    I think it was Gene Collier who accurately pointed out in the PG a few months back that the Phillies had a non-losing season once upon a time with something like 15 consecutive losers prior to that and 16 more losers after. That’s 31 out of 32 years of the very large suck.

    Yeah, it can always be worse in Philadelphia.

    Being upside-down for 17 straight seasons is, to say it very mildly, annoying. A whole generation has witnessed nothing but a train wreck. I saw three World Series championships by the time I was 25.

    Another generation will soon witness the type of success to which I became accustomed between 1958 and 1979. Maybe it’s foolish on my part to dispatch the kind of cynicism bred by the Bucco’s plight, but I’ll place my faith – even if it’s blind – in Nutting, Coonelly and Huntingdon to build that team around AM and get it done.

  20. NeedChocolate
    October 27, 2009 11:01 pm

    ugh…pop quiz?! sh!&. I’m going with e. (Do I get more points if I explain how?!)

    First, D. They see $$$ and pass out. {Insert your “thud” here} Then “b.” But the one genius in the room goes “what a minute people, what if we do this…” and proceeds to explain “c” …resulting in “a” CHA-CHING, baby!

    That’s so an A for the day :)

  21. bucdaddy
    October 27, 2009 11:47 pm

    Cutch is cool.

  22. unsatisfied
    October 28, 2009 9:35 am

    this is a nice honor for cutch. but, this award is not THE big one for rookies: it’s the one that the baseball writers announce in nov after the world series is over. he has a chance to win that one, but not a great chance — a pitcher for the hated phillies might snag that one.

    sure, the succos suck. but, cutch is fun to watch. and, garret jones was a nice surprise — can he repeat it in ’10? and, pedro alvarez will probably come up to the team in june and he’s expected to be a monster.

    other than that — meh.

  23. Lauren
    October 28, 2009 9:41 am

    Yawn. Baseball is boring. I can’t watch 5+ hours of pitching changes, the pitcher throwing to first base to keep the runner there, and fat guys making attempts to run around bases/after fly balls. Even if the Pirates didn’t suck more than a black hole, I still wouldn’t watch or go. The only bad thing about summer is that baseball is the lone sport being played. Thank goodness the last two hockey seasons have gone into June, it makes the time until NFL training camp go faster : )

  24. Russia
    October 28, 2009 11:25 am

    After being informed that the Buccos of Sucktitude now charge $300/hr for a mascot appearance at community events (prior to last year – free) I won’t even look in their direction. A team who is still for unknown reasons supported by their community slapping said community in the face despite own non-performance…. I hope McCutchen asks for a trade.

  25. Johnaz6312
    October 28, 2009 5:16 pm

    He will be traded any minute now for a bag of peanuts, a hot dog and a coke because Coonley is hungry!!