Random n’at.

1. Is it weird that I’m afraid of corn mazes?  Terrifying labyrinths of evil doom.  I ran into a friend at Target the other day and she told me that she, her husband and her sons were lost in the corn maze at Schramm’s Farms for an hour and a half, and I was all, “DID YOU PLAY DEAD SO THE CORN CHILDREN WOULDN’T EAT YOU?!?”  So updating the list of things that scare me, we now have clowns, scientologists, dead-eyed dolls, howler monkeys, cats, “the unknown”, and corn mazes.

2. If you have emailed me in the last month, I’M SO SORRY!  Chances are you haven’t received a reply from me yet and the reason for that is because I suck.

I was all overwhelmed because I have 500 messages in my inbox that need a response, and then iJustine tweeted that she has 25,000 messages in her inbox, so I have NOTHING to complain about.  500 is a nice cozy number and I’m going to start hacking away at it.

If I had 25,000 messages to answer, I would have an automatic response sent back to every email, saying:

“Thanks for writing with your kind words/your hate (pick one).  It really made me feel awesome/shitty (pick one).  I hope you have a great day/a pigeon poops in your coffee (pick one).  Love/Kiss my ass (pick one), Me.”

But since I only have 500, I can do a better job than that.

3.  I don’t talk about my old job much, but one of the things that I did shortly before coming out was get NEED eligible for Pittsburgh Gives.  And let me tell you, that was no walk in the park shooting pigeons, because the organizations that are eligible for matching donations through Pittsburgh Gives have gone through an extensive application process.  Starting tomorrow (or “today” if you’re reading this on Wednesday) at 10:00 a.m., your donations up to $2,500 each to a whole bunch of local charities are eligible to be matched .50 to the dollar, up until the $300,000 pool of funds is exhausted.  There’s even a special match for donations to the Carnegie Library System, if you’re so inclined.  If you’re looking to give, it’s a way to make your donation have an even bigger impact.

(h/t Stephanie)

4.  As far as parody Steelers songs go, well, this one WINS:

YouTube Preview Image

(h/t Lisa)

5.  Vikings coach Brad Childress dressed in drag for the team’s flight to Pittsburgh as a “reminder to his players, which entered Sunday at 6-0, that they needed to block out pressure as they girded for a test against the Steelers.”

Apparently he wore a dress, pantyhose, a wig, and lipstick.

Somewhere, Jeff Reed just read this and said, “I’d hit it.”

(h/t John)

6.  Speaking of, here’s Jeff Reed’s billboard for that psychologist we discussed last week:

Here’s a fun game: try figuring out which of those issues Skippy Skeeve is representing … because if the answer is “Athletic Performance” … HAHAHAH!

(h/t Pittsburgh Tom)

7. Please, dear readers, stop emailing me this story because I can’t be gut punched like that every twenty minutes.

8.  Giveaway tomorrow!  Woo!


  1. Sooska
    October 27, 2009 9:11 pm

    #7 That story is a killer. Makes everything else unimportant and irrelevant, so never mind.

  2. Chris
    October 27, 2009 9:14 pm

    Thank you, just…thank you :) Your blog–and twitter updates–rock!!

  3. bluzdude
    October 27, 2009 10:29 pm

    I would not go willingly into a corn maze… It’s one thing to do a maze, looking down on the maze as a piece of paper on your desk… it’s another to actually be… well… the mouse.

    Perhaps if they’d let you do the maze from a helicopter…

  4. hoosierburgher
    October 27, 2009 11:00 pm

    I once read somewhere that if you are lost in a maze, one made of corn or otherwise, keep your hand on the left wall at all times. I don’t know if it really works, but if your stuck, remember the old motto “Left is right, Right is wrong”.

  5. Valerie
    October 28, 2009 12:07 am

    I think this one is just a little better…LOL


  6. Liz
    October 28, 2009 1:22 am

    Have you heard the Penguin Fans (to the tune of Poker Face) song by the same people?


  7. Craig Fluck
    October 28, 2009 8:29 am

    Chilren’s Hospital Game Room status?

  8. L-A
    October 28, 2009 9:06 am

    I have an abnormal obsession with the Children of the Corn movies. If any are on TV, I MUST watch the entire thing. Perhaps I should seek hypnosis from Dr. Pappas.

  9. Nick
    October 28, 2009 9:54 am

    I love Schramm’s! We used to go there for pre-school field trips. They had that maze way back then.

  10. bucdaddy
    October 28, 2009 10:29 am

    Depends on the cheese at the end of the maze.

  11. Annie
    October 28, 2009 10:43 am

    Did you see the article about Ryan Clark today (Wed) in the Post Gazette? He almost died the last time he played in Denver because of his blood disorder, and now he has to decide if he’ll play there on Nov 9. I found the article surprisingly moving.

  12. Kathy
    October 28, 2009 11:00 am

    wow – I had never read that story (#7) before. Makes me want to go home and hug my kids, who last night I was ready to throttle. Thanks for sharing.

  13. red pen mama
    October 28, 2009 11:14 am

    oh, man, I’m crying about that little girl leaving notes all over the place. and for those parents who lost her. They must have done a hell of a job to make her into such a sweet, loving spirit. I can’t imagine that’s a lot of consolation (actually, that’s not exactly true) but I hope it’s a little.

    tissue, anyone?


  14. lovesthenorthside
    October 28, 2009 12:19 pm

    thanks for promoting pittsburgh gives. apparently they ran out of $$ within 20 minutes, so it was a resounding success.

  15. oldgraymare
    October 28, 2009 12:55 pm

    Love the steeler ladies song! That would be a great ringtone for my cell.

  16. Wendy
    October 28, 2009 1:09 pm

    From Reed’s attempted tackle on Sunday, I’m not sure you can really say he’d “hit” anything:)

  17. bluzdude
    October 28, 2009 1:31 pm

    You know, come to think of it, maybe Skippy was using the doctor, not to GET hypnotized, but to learn the trade. That would explain the success with the sluts…

    “You are getting very sleeeeepy… Follow the giant ring very closely… Relax your arms… relax your legs… relax your pubococcygeal muscle…

    “Now, when you awaken, your will be irrationally attracted to dwarves whose thighs make up 70% of their body weight… You will salivate over hairdos that defy gravity, if not conventional style…”

  18. Addi Twigg
    October 28, 2009 10:12 pm

    Thanks for posting about our Steelers song! You can download it via http://steelerladies.com (follow the links) and if you google it, you may still be able to find some sites that have it available as a ringtone. I know there were several of those right after the Super Bowl win!

    The producer of that song (Sean G. Donaldson) & I have a musical duo called Bait & Switch. You can hear our other songs at http://www.myspace.com/baitswitch.

    – Addi

  19. Elle C.
    October 28, 2009 11:49 pm

    haaaa i just saw this billboard while sitting at a light on 51 yesterday. at the time i thought ‘does having jeff reed on the advertisement help or hinder dr. george’s business?’

  20. LJ
    October 29, 2009 12:39 am

    When I was a small child (many years ago) I got lost in my grandfather’s corn patch. It wasn’t even a field of corn, just a big garden. I howled like the bats of hell were bombing my head, and my dad went into the garden and scooped me up. How high could the corn have been, since I could see him walking toward me?

    If I went into a corn maze, it would be flashback time.