Regretsy, Pittsburgh Style

Many readers have sent me emails about interesting things they’ve discovered on, a site dedicated to the ridiculous shit people try to sell on, which is basically eBay for homemade stuff.

I was hunting around etsy today (BAD IDEA!) when I did a search for “Pittsburgh” and boy, did some ridiculous shit pop up, in addition to some majorly awesome things that I’m adding to my Christmas gift list (PAY ATTENTION, HONEY!).

The good

1.  This is the “Dammit Doll” which at first glance appears to be a voodoo doll for non-Pittsburgh sports fans to use to hex our teams, but in actuality it is for you to grab by the feet and smack around in rage when your black and gold team member does something stupid.

I need one of these so the next time Skippy tries to tackle with his eyes closed or the next time Benny throws an interception or the next time the Pirates are on my TV just existing, I can wail this thing against the pointy edge of a table all, “YOU SON OF A MOTHER-LOVING STINKING NO GOOD PIECE OF CRAP-POOPING KNOWING BASTARD HELLSPAWN!”

I feel better already.

2.  Must own. Will own.

That is quite possibly one of the best Pittsburgh shirts I’ve ever seen. (UPDATE: that link will show that shirt as having sold, however, the seller has already re-listed the shirt, so you can still buy it if you visit the seller’s page here.)

3.  A classy, understated way to show your love for Pittsburgh:

(Update: The necklace sold and no more are currently available.  Here’s hoping someone bought if for me for Christmas … HONEY!)

4.  My next office will have this badboy hanging on the wall.  You can be sure of it:

The bad

1.  I’m just saying that it doesn’t seem like a capital L would give someone that much difficulty.

2.  I’m sorry, I can’t type right now.  I’m too busy having a seizure over the fact that this seller wants $160 for an old ballcap bedazzled out the wazoo.

3.  Maybe it’s the grammar of the thing.  I don’t know.

I think I was expecting it to say, “Steelers rescue dogs … not cats.” or maybe “Steelers rescue dogs … and then let them eat miniature ponies.” I don’t know.

4.  That doesn’t look itchy at all.

Not exactly the kind of yarn I want within five feet of my ticklish toes.

5.  “Trust me.  It might look like any old water, but those are real live Allegheny River ripples.  It’s a fine art print! And it will only cost you $25.00!”

And the naughty.

Why don’t you just click here, okay? I wonder if it comes in XL black?


  1. LuAnn
    October 29, 2009 2:42 pm

    Interesting that

    -the tee is from a seller in Baltimore
    -the necklace comes by way of Wyoming
    -the rippling water is out of Portland.

    I wonder if any of these people ever lived in Pittsburgh… or have ever even been here.

    Is there ANY connection at all, or are they just lookin’ to make a buck off us?

  2. Carpetbagger
    October 29, 2009 2:48 pm

    Do you think Matt Spaeth would sign the apron? I’m assuming it used to be his. And those ripples look suspiciously like Cincinnati water to me. I’ll bet you the same picture is for sale is you put Cinci in the search field.

  3. Christine
    October 29, 2009 3:01 pm

    I’ll bet Skippy has one of those aprons.

  4. hello haha narf
    October 29, 2009 3:16 pm

    oh dear lord, i own flip flops just like like that. they were a present from an aunt. they don’t tickle. yes, embarrassingly enough, i have worn them. they are undefeated this year!

    i must get that t-shirt. don’t worry, i won’t wear it with the lip flops!

    October 29, 2009 3:36 pm

    Um, anything with the Steelers name and logo on it must be licensed, so that may explain the crap on there with the Steeler name on it.

  6. butcher's dog
    October 29, 2009 3:47 pm

    biggeorge…you forgot the word “legally” after “must”. Been through some of the tables in the Strip District lately? There’s quite a bit of knock-off stuff available, and anyone selling from home probably hasn’t paid the license fee.

  7. Monty
    October 29, 2009 3:56 pm

    That’s not an apron. It’s a cape for someone who likes it from behind.

  8. Clair
    October 29, 2009 4:06 pm

    We have a dammit doll. We also have it’s cousin, the bad call brick. a piece of brick-shaped foam covered with Steelers material (we have one white and one black) that you can toss at the TV when a bad call is made. My grandmother gave them to us, and she has her own. Oh yeah, they get used…LOL.

  9. Kathy
    October 29, 2009 4:27 pm

    I love how the apron site, (misspellings included) says: CHOOSE YOUR FABRIC PATTERN TO SUIT THE OWNERS PERSONALITY! Other avaliable fabric choices…..

    And then lists some great fabric patterns like “monopoly board” or “frogs”…..

  10. Pensgirl
    October 29, 2009 4:39 pm

    That necklace sold out today. Now I need a dammit doll to kick around, ’cause I really wanted one.

    Clair, where did your grandmother get the brick? That sounds like a vital necessity.

  11. bluzdude
    October 29, 2009 4:55 pm

    Love the dammit doll and T shirt.

    LuAnn, there are thousands of ex-Burghers like me living in Baltimore. And we drive the locals crazy… that’s a fringe benefit of living here.

    I don’t know about Wyoming though… That may quite possibly be the Anti-Burgh.

  12. LuAnn
    October 29, 2009 5:13 pm

    The brick can be gotten at a variety of places… just Google.

    If you want to shop locally, try here

    …but I am not fond of their yellow version. I like the red better.

    My husband was given a Bad Call Brick (in red) ages ago by our kids. They thought the throwing would cut down on the yelling… and it did!
    He also had a referee whose head, arms and legs were velcroed on… you could rip them off when there were bad calls.

  13. Beth
    October 29, 2009 6:18 pm

    I am enjoying the fact that the full frontal view of the penis is censored, but the side view is apparently child friendly.

  14. Barb
    October 29, 2009 6:31 pm

    I had to buy the dammit doll as an xmas gift from the kids for my former father-in-law! Thanks for sharing these!

  15. pghgeorge
    October 29, 2009 6:34 pm

    Maybe one could throw the Skippy dickie apron at the TV when you don’t have the Damnit Doll. If you get two Skippy dickies, you can use them for uprights, and practice your kicks.


  16. Bojack
    October 29, 2009 7:07 pm

    Methinks JR Priestly should buy one to practice reach-arounds with his inflatable!

  17. Bobbo
    October 29, 2009 8:26 pm

    The good stuff is good. That shirt maker NEEDS to make more. Have Woy find that shirt maker and make for

    The apron… OMG. Great laugh.

  18. Different Brian
    October 29, 2009 9:13 pm

    What’s wrong with the tshirt “model”? I get the whole “omg I’m so disaffected and life hurts” vibe you get from those types, but that guy is laying it on thick. Brush your damn hair!

    /got off my lawn!
    //turn down that damn rock music!

  19. Clair
    October 29, 2009 9:45 pm

    I believe someone made the bad call bricks and dammit doll for my grandmother and she shared them…my grandmother has several crafty friends (not that covering a foam brick in fabric takes a lot of skill, tho i bet I could screw it up lol).

    When my youngest was in diapers, I used cloth diapers and had a Steelers diaper made for him to wear on gamedays. Fanatics? eh, possibly lol.

  20. Pittsburgh Tom (now back in da burgh)
    October 29, 2009 10:06 pm

    A friend of mine from Jersey sells little knitted sports-themed dolls on etsy. I thought about buying one from her, but being a south jersey native who went to wvu, she would kill me for even asking her to make a penguins or Pitt one. A Steelers one might have been allowable.

  21. bucdaddy
    October 29, 2009 10:59 pm

    hello haha narf Says:
    October 29th, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    i must get that t-shirt. don’t worry, i won’t wear it with the lip flops!

    Um, could you provide a photo of these “lip flops”? I want to see if what they are is what I’m thinkin’ they are. And I think dirty.

  22. JennyMoon
    October 30, 2009 11:25 am

    Does anyone else think it’s hilarious that the penis apron lady put her picture up all proud of her homemade item??

  23. Still A Fan
    October 30, 2009 12:06 pm

    i hate knockoff crap. the NFL seriously needs to beef up their cease letters. so many people on ebay think they can just put steelers on anything and sell it. i go to a large market where i live and i swear some day i’m going to put the shirt and tie on and give everyone a fright. my sister-in-law had a friend who was taking the famous prayer shot in B&W from the superbowl and photoshopping other people’s names onto a jersey and then reselling them. thats a ripoff of the guy who took the picture. saying “pittsburgh football” is legal, saying steelers is NOT. its why all those “got six?” tshirts have “the burgh does” on the back. making a few pesos off the steelers coat tails.

  24. brian
    October 30, 2009 1:46 pm

    The t-shirt seller is my brother’s girlfriend. She’s an ex-burgher in Baltimore for school. He was wearing the shirt when he visited last weekend.

  25. Vivian formerly NYLuvsPitts
    October 30, 2009 4:51 pm

    I have a catalogue that came recently with a Steelers Snuggie and slippers on the cover.

  26. Amy
    October 30, 2009 7:03 pm

    As someone who sews, my initial issue with the aprons was that she didn’t bother to even iron something she’s trying to sell. I can’t imagine crafting something to show to the public – the public that I want to give me money for my item, and not making it look the best it can.

    Then I realized two things – 1) She obviously crafted her “prop”. 2) Her store name is sort of gross as well. *shudder*

  27. La Reina
    October 30, 2009 7:18 pm

    I like the apron seller’s screenname: leapinchubb – yeah, baby.

  28. GroovyPghChick
    October 30, 2009 11:55 pm

    LuAnn, Brian and anyone else who wants to know–the gorgeous guy wearing the Pittsburgh shirt is a Pittsburgh guy–and one of the creators of Rational Act Clothing. He lives in Baltimore now. Ok–he’s technically from Upper St. Clair but as any true Pittsburgher knows–you don’t actually have to LIVE in the city to be a Pittsburgher–it’s in our blood, the water from our Three Rivers and our beer!

  29. Erin
    October 31, 2009 8:11 pm


    I made the Three Rivers Necklace, and I did indeed live in Pittsburgh (Squirrel Hill) for several years. I had to move to Wyoming for a job, and trust me, I miss Pittsburgh every day. I’m *really* excited about going back over Christmas!

    Thanks so much for featuring my necklace, and for all the wonderful compliments everyone!!

    ~Erin/Paper Rose Designs

  30. Matt
    November 1, 2009 11:06 am

    Even without seeing the merchandise, I think the words “Barbecue Apron With Penis” comprise one of the finest non-sequiturs in the Queen’s English. Like a post-modern Dada masterpiece. I guess it has something to do with “tailgating”?

  31. Megan
    November 1, 2009 7:44 pm

    Another ‘Good’ from are the Steeler and Penguin Ponchos – I’ll try to remember to email a pic to Ginny of my son wearing his.

    When we drove out to Wyoming 3yrs ago, we met Pittsburghers at almost every stop, and stayed at a ranch owned by Pittsburghers (they live out there 1/2 the year).