Ladies and Gentlemen, I submit to you the best sentence to ever appear in the Post-Gazette:

Barbara Baker, Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium president and chief operating officer, held a news conference outside the rhino yard today to alert zoo visitors that they could be witness to some rough but “entertaining” animal sex.

Game over.


  1. dayafternext
    October 30, 2009 3:52 pm

    Why, had Skippy roofied one of the female orangutans?

  2. Bojack
    October 30, 2009 4:12 pm

    Is this (was this) a “they’re balling right now” announcement or just a general “it’s mating season and you might get lucky!”

    Either way, it’s proly not as good a choice for a young lothario to get his inteneded in the mood as the monkey cage!! IMHO


    Also, with the new laws in effect, are they still allowed to smoke afterwards?

  3. Bojack
    October 30, 2009 4:22 pm

    PS- Makes me very curious about Ms. Baker and her………personal tastes!!

    I mean, are dogs f**king boring?

    What about porcupines? Raccoons??

    Entertaining or not?

    Or is she just into size??

  4. Sooska
    October 30, 2009 4:36 pm

    every teenage boy (12-92) will be rushing to the zoo today.

  5. Bram R
    October 30, 2009 4:41 pm

    What a promotion for a non-profit! We need to start hyping up the possibility of catching librarians mating fiercely between some of the back stacks of the Carnegie, in their natural habitat.

  6. Pensgirl
    October 30, 2009 4:45 pm

    I am going to:

    1. Assume that I would find bow-rhino-bow scary.
    2. Not do anything to put that assumption to the test.

  7. bluzdude
    October 30, 2009 4:52 pm

    I guess the rhinos are always doing it because they so hor… eh, you know.

  8. bluzdude
    October 30, 2009 4:53 pm

    Bram is onto something…
    who wouldn’t like to see their librarian loosen their bun once in a while?

  9. Carpetbagger
    October 30, 2009 4:58 pm

    Wonder how they get the rhinos to Carson St.?

  10. Pa-pop
    October 30, 2009 5:48 pm

    Skippy and Tone both went limp when they heard the female was born in Cleveland.

  11. pghgeorge
    October 30, 2009 7:52 pm

    How do you get a rhinoceros into a refrigerator?

  12. Monty
    October 30, 2009 7:57 pm

    Not sure quite what it is, but something about that picture reminds me of Casey Hampton’s belly button.

  13. bucdaddy
    October 30, 2009 9:46 pm

    Annnnnnnnnnd Monty takes an already excellent string of comments and spikes it in the end zone.

    Since I have nothing else, I’ll tell this joke:

    One day a little Indian boy comes to his father the chief and asks: Father, why my sister named Running Deer?

    Chief says: Son, when your sister was born, I rise from teepee and go outside, and across meadow I see a deer running elegantly through the mist. So we name your sister Running Deer.

    The little boy says: And father, why my brother named Angry Bear?

    Chief says: When your brother was born, I rise from teepee and go outside, and across meadow I see great grizzly bear standing on back legs and roaring. So we name your brother Angry Bear.

    The little boy says: And father, why …

    Chief, growing irritated, says: Why you ask so many questions, Two Dogs Fucking?

  14. L-A
    October 30, 2009 10:25 pm

    hahaha to all…yinzer funny

  15. Bojack
    October 30, 2009 11:17 pm

    OK, after reading the article I see it was a “mating season” type announcement which is somewhat less bizarre than the mental image I had of a zoo official making the announcement over the PA system that “the rhinos are screwing right now and if you like
    being entertained by rough noisy sex hurry on over!!”

    I REALLY wanted to see the all field-trip 5th graders pleading with their teacher to get right over there, or every other 8 yr old asking their Mom to explain whatever it is the fuss is about and why aren’t rushing over too?

    Which brings me to my next concern:
    Besides the zoo staff, do you think a list needs to be kept of all the pervs who now spend more than a normal amount of time at the rhino pen this week?

    I mean, just think about anybody who now stands watch there daily! waiting, anticipating,……..

    (I’ll be there Thurs, 11 AM- closing)

  16. Bojack
    October 30, 2009 11:25 pm

    Why can’t we have them on a live Zoo webcam for instant and
    widespread viewing???

    Like the falcons on the Cathedral of Learning and the Gulf Tower!

    You know, replays, slow-motion, n’at!

    I know what my next Zoo donation request reply is going to say!!

    I WANT REAL-TIME, WEB-CAM ANIMAL SEX!!!! or no $$!!!

  17. red pen mama
    October 31, 2009 11:14 am

    I worked at the Erie Zoo (I know, har har) the summer the female polar bear was in heat. I guess it was entertaining, but my concession stand, directly across from the polar bears’ den, was the slowest stand that season. I never saw parents move so fast as when those polar bears were going at it. Instead of a perfect opportunity to explain the birds and the bees (or bears, i guess), they yanked those kids right onto the Bengal tigers.


  18. Still A Fan
    October 31, 2009 1:27 pm

    In the insect world, they know to only show up in my room about once a quarter for the entertaining show.

  19. Bojack
    October 31, 2009 5:49 pm

    (I just can’t help myself re: this post!)

    AZZIZI (the female rhino,) to Casey Hampton:

    “You complete me!!”

  20. butcher's dog
    November 1, 2009 2:17 pm

    I’d be real careful, bojack, about inserting the words “you might get lucky” into a sentence that dealt with rhino mating.

    Just sayin’.

  21. toni
    November 2, 2009 12:16 pm

    Bojack if she’s into size then Schlongtonio Holmes is getting him some Rhino…

  22. AndyTheo
    November 2, 2009 12:35 pm

    Thank you First Amendment. Without you, we’d be sans one zookeeper.

  23. Bojack
    November 2, 2009 2:39 pm

    After exhaustive research and careful consideration I have found:

    The Zoo currently has a webcam listed (inactive now) for the polar bears (boring if they’re not mating, or gnawing on patrons,) and they did have one active for the baby elephants!

    So, where’s our “rhino-sex” cam??

    I think they SHOULD announce over the PA, kinda like “ATTENTION K-MART SHOPPERS” the instant the rhinos start whatever passes for rhino foreplay!! Tie it in with tweets and email alerts so we hit the webcam!! THE “RED LIGHT” SPECIAL!! :-)

    ANDYTHEO>>> Is it just me or did it sound like Dr. Baker was more than slightly tantalized by, and used the adverbs “rough” and “noisy” when describing the anticipated rhino intercourse?

  24. Connie George
    November 9, 2009 11:27 am

    Love these comments. Although it wasn’t news just yet, we had to make the announcement so that people would be prepared for what they might see out on the exhibit. It still hasn’t happened yet, they predicted anywhere between the 7th and the 9th that she would cycle. He still has to show interest.

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