Random n’at.

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1.  Several readers have written, asking why I haven’t commented on Lukey winning the Mayoral race. Well, because then I might as well comment on the sun rising, the wind blowing, the pigeons pooping and whipping ninja stars at me.  These things are inevitable. We knew Lukey was going to win.

Now, had Lukey lost, you can be darn sure you would have come here yesterday and there would have been a post that basically went like this:

All together now!

“Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah
For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah”

SOPRANOS!

“For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah!”

You would have then witnessed a handful of black and gold confetti bursting out of your computer monitor, showering you with joy.

But Lukey won. Like we knew he would. And my love of Pittsburgh mandates that I wish him luck and I hope with all of my soul that he does good things for my city.

2.  This might be one of the best Jack Lambert posts I’ve ever read.  Also, that crotch-chop picture still makes me [blech].

3.  Jay-Z is coming to Mellon Arena!  So, let’s take bets on how long it takes for those tickets to sell out.  I’ll put $20 on 12 minutes.

4.  The new Mister Rogers statue was unveiled today at his new home on the North Shore in a park called “Tribute to Children” and I already know I’ll get teary-eyed when I see it in person.  I mean, he’s sitting there in Pittsburgh.  Looking at the river, at his city. And he’s just smiling and tying his shoes. That’s exactly as it should be.

You can tour the Neighborhood of Make Believe this weekend and this weekend only.

5.  I rarely watch baseball this late in the year, but married to a die-hard Yankees fan ( I KNOW! Ick.) I’ve been forced to watch a few games of this World Series and I swear to you, we have had several conversations that went like this:

Me: Wait. The Yankees have Derek Jeter AND A-Rod?!  Wait.  AND Posada?!  I have heard of ALL of these guys and I can’t name three Pirates.

Husband: HAHAHAHA!

or

Me: Look at all the people freaking out and standing up.  Can you imagine how demonic and nuts I’d be if the Pirates were ever in the World Series?

Husband: [blink]  HAHAHAHAH!

or

Me: Derek Jeter has won FIVE World Series championships??!!  What would it take for the Pirates to get Derek Jeter?

Husband: [blink] [blink] HAHAHAHAH!

This glimpse into our marriage has been brought to you by the Buccos of Suckitude who have made us a laughingstock to Yankees fans.

6.  And finally, while driving to Oakmont the other day [SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE!], my mother, my sister and I spotted this van on the Turnpike.

I’m going to buy a case of this for my Dad, who is a minister I remind you, just so this can happen:

Mom: Honey, can I get you anything?

Dad: Yeah, I’m busy writing my sermon.  Could you pop me open a can of Whoop Ass?





54 Comments


  1. Steelman
    November 5, 2009 11:02 pm

    I learned from very reliable sources that your Dad pulled an abdominal muscle while laughing at your Whoop Ass comment. It will probably be the best sermon he ever gave.



  2. JJ
    November 5, 2009 11:29 pm

    Fabulous. As a pastor-in-training (I’m in seminary) could you send me a case of that too? ;)



  3. bucdaddy
    November 5, 2009 11:46 pm

    I know it seems like I’m ragging on pro football today, but this points up something I’ve thought for a long time.

    Look at Jack Lambert’s playing weight. Linebacker? He’d be a cornerback or safety today, if he could run a 4.3 40. Guys like Greene and White, they’d have to be linebackers to make room for the 320-pound guys on the defensive line. How big were Swann and Stallworth? Around 180, IIRC. They’d get snapped in half today.

    All of which is by way of saying the ’70s Steelers, great in their day, would have trouble staying on the field for two quarters against a run-of-the-mill NFL team like say the Bengals now.

    No, there’s no point to this. I just think it’s interesting.



  4. geeves
    November 6, 2009 12:05 am

    My favorite Jack Lambert quote from Chuck Noll: “Jack Lamber is a defender of what is right” – after Lambert threw Roy Gerela to the ground (after Gerela taunted Pittsburgh’s kicker, of course)



  5. bluzdude
    November 6, 2009 12:42 am

    As a boy, I became a huge Jack Lambert fan on the afternoon of Super Bowl X, roughly about the time Cliff Harris’s cheeks kissed the turf, courtesy of Mr. Lambert.

    Like bucdaddy says, given Lambert’s proportions, he has to have been the most unlikely badass.



  6. fone guy stan
    November 6, 2009 8:10 am

    While driving to Oakmont, you spotted the Whoop Ass van on the Turnpike? That seems like a long detour to get there from Dawntawn. Well, route 28 is always a mess.



  7. Virginia
    November 6, 2009 8:16 am

    Stan, I wasn’t driving there from Downtown. ;)



  8. Norf Side Betty
    November 6, 2009 8:42 am

    Not to get all “Bill Brasky” here, but I read somewhere once that jack was once sitting in a bar minding his own business and some girls asked him his sign (zodiac, it was the 70s) to which he replied “Feces”. A prince among men, I tell you! Tough, able to back it up AND secretly sarcastically intelligent. Love him!



  9. red pen mama
    November 6, 2009 9:27 am

    Wow. I never knew all that about Jack Lambert. That was a great story.

    Cannot wait to take my girls to see Mr. Rogers. I love that statue.

    Last: I am so glad I’m not a baseball fan.

    ciao,
    rpm



  10. Still A Fan
    November 6, 2009 9:34 am

    when i first saw the statue, i thought it was myron!!!



  11. butcher's dog
    November 6, 2009 9:50 am

    @geeves…Gerela was the kicker being taunted. Cliff Harris was the one getting tossed.

    Ginny…you obviously weren’t around on that fine October day in 1960, but Maz put a huge “stunned” on all New York fans and sent our burgh into a tizzy such as has not been matched by all the couch-burners in the history of sports since. Let’s all keep the faith a bit longer yet and hope the pieces are falling into place to put us in that position once again.

    And when we finally win another World Series and are contemplating celebrations, let’s not forget that Mr. Rogers will be watching what we do.



  12. bluzdude
    November 6, 2009 10:00 am

    I don’t know if it’s the angle from which the picture was taken, but I don’t think that statue looks anything like Mr. Rogers. I mean, the pose is good, but it looks like the sculptor used a picture of the wrong guy…



  13. Martin Silenus
    November 6, 2009 10:04 am

    Lately, I’ve been talking with people about the whole phenomena of King Friday in Mr. Rogers and how he built lessons into the show about how to work around someone who has power but makes really poor decisions. It’s hysterical to me now and I can’t think of anything comparably realistic in children’s programming today. Fred was one truly subversive dude.



  14. L-A
    November 6, 2009 10:40 am

    I love Mr. Rogers and I’m happy they put up a tribute to him, but why is it all lumpy and bumpy? I don’t get it.



  15. Sooska
    November 6, 2009 11:07 am

    L-A I am with you. It looks like the sculptor was drinking Whoop Ass to finish it in time.



  16. bucdaddy
    November 6, 2009 11:17 am

    geeves,

    My favorite Noll quote (and he wasn’t a very quotable man) came after Sidney Thornton fumbled and fumbled and fumbled and fumbled away a game:

    “Sidney has many problems, and they are great.”



  17. jmarinara
    November 6, 2009 11:21 am

    Also, I don’t like the Mister Rogers statue. It looks like it has bubble gum all over it and his head appears to be entirely too big.

    It bugs me.



  18. Dana
    November 6, 2009 11:24 am

    Whoop Ass opened the door to energy drinks for me. I remember chugging a few with my best friend before softball games when we were, like, 11. Our mothers hated us. I didn’t know it still existed!



  19. Carpetbagger
    November 6, 2009 11:25 am

    L-A and Sooska… I agree. My first thought was, “Why did they make his statue out of Rice Krispy Treats?”



  20. Three
    November 6, 2009 11:27 am

    Why was Mr. Rogers dipped in oatmeal? That’s just frightening.

    Secondly, the Yankee’s win would be more impressive to me if they hadn’t spent more money on their payroll than several small countries’ GNP. It’s why I can’t get into baseball … well, that, and the fact that it’s baseball.

    (sorry, I’m just feeling a bit ornery due to waking up with a sinus headache.)



  21. bucdaddy
    November 6, 2009 11:41 am

    Re Mr. Rogers statue: All the nooks and crannies hold the pigeon poop better.



  22. wckdcll
    November 6, 2009 11:44 am

    Yay! Mr. Rogers and his neighborhood! I can’t wait to see it myself….but, in here to comment on the Yanks!

    I have loved the Yankees since I was a child! Started with the color navy blue, then the uniforms, then…the players but I remember a time when I took off the white and blue pin stripes and wore…shhh….wait for it, an Andy Van Slyke jersey. Yes, in the day of non-suckitude I was a sort of Pirates fan. But, I had to go back to the original plan…..Thank you Jeter for being a classy dude…Thank you Yankees for the 27th time, and goooooo Yankees….C-U-Next Year…BTW…The Red Sox SUCK!!! BWUAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA



  23. Kate
    November 6, 2009 11:49 am

    Re: #1–It always gets me that people (not you guys, people in general) complain about the direction the city’s taking, and yet voter turnout for the mayoral election was less than 25%.



  24. Vivian formerly NYLuvsPitts
    November 6, 2009 11:56 am

    1. lmbo

    5. Go Yankees. I have to go downstairs now to the cafeteria to watch the parade. See ya!!!



  25. Steve In Denver
    November 6, 2009 12:01 pm

    Great Lambert story. I would pay cold hard cash to see him throw back a shot of Jack Daniels and put a cig out in Santonio’s eyeball.



  26. Carpetbagger
    November 6, 2009 12:05 pm

    Kate… in my experience, the complainers tend to be the small but vocal percentage that turns out to vote. (Actually less than 16% of the city this time out.) Believe me, if 50% or more of the city were complaining, Luke would not have won. Part of the whole democracy deal includes the right to complain.

    The vast majority either like the way things are going or they assume everything is going just fine or they fear change or they see the problems but doubt that anything can ever be done about it. Then there are those who were surprised to see on the news that there was an election that day.



  27. Sue
    November 6, 2009 12:10 pm

    I never make comments on things on-line, but that comment about your Dad made me laugh so hard I thought I might pee my pants! Awesome.



  28. Virginia
    November 6, 2009 12:14 pm

    I’m honored it pulled you out of lurkdom. ;) Welcome to the commenting sunshine, Sue!



  29. Padzman
    November 6, 2009 1:04 pm

    OMG. I LOVE you!



  30. chrys
    November 6, 2009 1:13 pm

    I am so glad to see I am not the only one who doesn’t like the Mr. Rogers’ statue either. The statue looks like the one of Caligiuri in front of the courthouse. It looks like they’ve both climbed out of the grave. Why would they make the statue like that. I love Mr Roger’s, but this statue is .. well blaahh. I don’t get it, he loved children.. why would the sculptor want to scare children?



  31. Sooska
    November 6, 2009 1:28 pm

    I think the City needs to go ahead with the Gene Kelly statue with the umbrella so we can have the Quad-fecta of bad statue art. (that list includes the Clemente which I think is worst of all as it is a craven graven image.) Caliguiri’s is the “best” of the bad lot. This new one of Mr Rogers makes him look like Yoda- add the ears and you’ll see what I mean.



  32. NeedChocolate
    November 6, 2009 1:42 pm

    this post was AWESOME!

    #1 – All I can say is dammit pgh! I unfortunately don’t live in the city anymore…or I would have voted…and not for lil’ boy mayor.

    #2 – Damn straight!

    #3 – I’ll match that. I say an even 10 minutes.

    #4 – I’m happy about the statue. But I agree w/ a few of the other commenters. What’s wrongwith Mr. Rogers? Who approved this mess?

    #5 – When I was growing up (here in the beautiful burgh), I used to be the biggest baseball fan. I can’t tell you how many pirates games I’ve attended in the first 12 years of my life. I can remember a time when we used to be decent. And I (unfortuanetly) can remember watching the crappiness that we have today slowly unfold before my eyes, blow by sickening blow. You make me sick, Suckos. You. Make. Me. Sick.

    #6 – Nice!

    Your “lurkdom” comment, actually caused me to snort while laughing. I haven’t done that since I was 13. Good job!



  33. tw
    November 6, 2009 2:01 pm

    Ginny, Ginny, Ginny…the yankees! That hurts. I haven’t deserted our Pirates, but seeing that I’m out here near Philly, they have been fun to watch (Cliff Lee rocks…so does Utley). Anyways, to me the Yankees are the baseball equivalent of the Cowboys…ewwwwww.



  34. bucdaddy
    November 6, 2009 2:05 pm

    Just for the fun of it, I looked up Ernie Holmes’ dimensions. Ernie won two Super Bowls playing on the Steelers defensive line with Green, Greenwood and White in the 1970s. Ernie was the uy who once shaved an arrow into his hair, and also He was known as “Fats” and usually had trouble getting his weight down in training camp, and after his playing days were over his weight ballooned to 400 pounds. But they called him Fats way before that.

    The Web site dadatbasefootball.com lists Ernie’s playing dimensions as:

    6-3, 260

    Maybe they were giving Ernie the benefit of the doubt, but still … he’d get lost for a week in Casey Hampton’s navel.

    Ernie also had an incident where he fired some shots at a police helicopter on the Ohio Turnpike. Roids? Concussion syndrome? Or just a serious emotional problem? I’d forgotten about that?



  35. bucdaddy
    November 6, 2009 2:08 pm

    *-databasefootball.com



  36. bucdaddy
    November 6, 2009 2:12 pm

    Probably the “artist” was trying to make Mr. Rogers look “edgy,” which most normal people without their heads up their asses could have told him/her would be like drinking water with a fork. Really, a cardigan on a hook and some comfy sneakers on the floor is all the tribute needed.



  37. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    November 6, 2009 2:22 pm

    The statue was done by the same sculptor (Robert Berks) who did the Caliguiri statue and one of Albert Einstein that is in DC. Robert Berks was one of Mr. Rogers’ favorite sculptors. I actually like it, and it is much more appealing in person.

    I was at the unveiling yesterday and Joanne Rogers expressed that Mr. Rogers would have been a fan of it as well. The Einstein sculpture was one of his favorites.

    I truly believe Mr. Rogers would like it. He saw beauty and joy in everything. He once said “When we love a person, we accept him or her exactly as is: the lovely with the unlovely, the strong along with the fearful, the true mixed in with the facade, and of course, the only we can do it is by accepting ourselves that way.” (quoted from page 4 of “You are Special: Words of Wismon from American’s Most Beloved Neighbor” by Fred Rogers, published by Viking: A division of Penguin USA, 1994)



  38. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    November 6, 2009 2:25 pm

    Oops, sorry it should read “When we love a person, we accept him or her exactly as is: the lovely with the unlovely, the strong along with the fearful, the true mixed in with the facade, and of course, the only way we can do it is by accepting ourselves that way.”



  39. La Reina
    November 6, 2009 2:41 pm

    Well, that explains it then. I saw the Mr. Rogers statue and thought they’d just taken the Mayor Caliguiri statue and bent the arms and legs. Same sculptor, huh. Go figure.



  40. Sooska
    November 6, 2009 2:50 pm

    That’s all very nice, Ex-Pat, but I still don’t like it or any of them. I find it pretentious and Mr. Rogers was the antithesis of that.

    BTW that quote is why the sickos “protested” at his funeral-cause he loved everyone as they are and preached that ideal.



  41. Carpetbagger
    November 6, 2009 4:04 pm

    I love the pose and I love the placement.

    But it looks too much like the lovechild of Dan Rather and The Thing from the Fantastic Four.

    In honor of Fred, however, I will love it as it is.



  42. HORNE-Y
    November 6, 2009 4:20 pm

    I have a can of whoop ass sitting on my desk. Very handy when threatening random coworkers: “Don’t make me open up a can of whoop ass on you!”



  43. DG
    November 6, 2009 4:27 pm

    I agree with Ex-Pat. I’m apparently in the minority that likes the new statue. I’ve always liked the one of Caliguri, too. Einstein statue (and pictures with) is a part of every family trip to DC.

    Jack Lambert is why I love football. Fantastic article – every current player should be required to read it.



  44. Bridges and Bites
    November 6, 2009 5:18 pm

    As a fellow preacher’s daughter, OMG, that is hilarious!



  45. Tinare
    November 6, 2009 5:25 pm

    I’m with DG and Ex-Pat. But the statue is there whether the Sooskas of the world like it or not… ;)



  46. Sooska
    November 6, 2009 5:54 pm

    gee thanks, Tinare. do I have to comply with the rabble and like every damn thing cause it is of Fred Rogers? nope. I do not.



  47. Eileen
    November 7, 2009 12:47 am

    I don’t recall seeing a single comment saying that anyone has to comply with anything, let alone the “rabble”. No one has to like it (or anything else for that matter) simply because it has to do with Mr. Rogers. As the article notes, Mrs. Rogers indicated that her initial thought was that Mr. Rogers would be horrified, but after some reflection and upon seeing the sculpture (which she liked), she thought he would like it. Whether it’s pretentious, that is Sooska’s (and probably others’ as well) opinion, something to which we are entitled to hold. One is not more right than another in this case.



  48. Still A Fan
    November 7, 2009 10:42 am

    i reflected….and i still hate it. i’m telling you, people of my generation dont want an abstract, they want a zombie looking president thing from disney.

    i think it’s an inside joke. it’s for Henrietta Pussycat who would say “meow mwister rogers meow mwade of meow meow mwanned cat food meow”



  49. Eileen
    November 7, 2009 11:56 am

    @Still A Fan — if your generation includes those born in before 1950, then I’m going to have to disagree with you. I can’t stand Disney and I like abstracts, as does my hubby and many of my similarly aged friends.