Sports Illustrated released their ranking of dirtiest NFL player, and once again, Hines Ward was elected by his peers as the dirtiest of the dirty.
This is not news because everyone hates the fact that Hines Ward is a tackling wide receiver who once took a player out for the season, stood up, kind of gloated about it, and then later that year said he’d make that tackle again.
Not the classiest of players, but whatever, he’s a Steeler. If he played for any other team, I’d hate his guts.
So readers have emailed me all, “HINES IS THE DIRTIEST AGAIN!”
But screw that, look who rounded out the top ten!
Steelers safety Troy Polamalu (3.7) and Vikings defensive end Jared Allen (3.2) rounded out the top 10.
TROYSUS POLAMALU?! DIRTY?!
The man who prays 6,377 times a game? The man who goes to a church wherein the services are FOUR HOURS long? The man who heals people?! Who give his money to the poor? Who visits the homeless and hands them bags of food before driving off without thanks?!
That’s like calling Mother Teresa the most selfish nun that ever lived.
I want proof that Troysus is a dirty player because without that, these NFL players really are just a bunch of whiny sissies that can’t handle it when a talented safety regularly intercepts their shit, and when he can’t intercept their shit, he tackles them until their brains cry out for mercy. Otherwise known as … FOOTBALL.
Cowboy the hell up, NFL sissies. Put those big girl panties on, get out there, and take a tackle like a man, otherwise, I’m sure there’s a raging game of cricket or Hungry Hungry Hippo going on somewhere that you can get in on.
Go show those marbles who’s boss and leave football to the men.